Heroes are Nothing but Sandwiches
by Panugoeth
Summary: Post-PGSM the senshi are caught up in a mess as they try to discern themselves from the superheroes they were to who they are they are today.(Shoujo-ai)ReiMinako
1. Default Chapter

disclaimer: PGSM is not mine it is the property of Naoko Takeuchi and the writers of TOEI

**Prologue: Another Brick in the Wall**

_"I don't need no arms around me_

_and I don't need no drugs to calm me_

_I have seen the writing on the wall_

_Don't think I need anything at all_

_All in all, it was just bricks in the wall."_

Aino Minako pursed her lips in frustration as she kneeled over

a box labeled "fitness tools", as she mustered all of her strength

into the effort of moving the box. Her strawberry lips turned down

slightly into a pout as the box clearly was oblivious to her objections.

Huffing indignantly her slim fingers grappled at the bottom of the

box and then..._tug....tug.....pant....TUG..._

"F-fuck...."

Her voice rebounded off of the huge empty manor the loudest sound

that could be heard. The obscenity had been said outloud and with no one

around to catch it. The slip she shrugged off as she nursed her aching shoulder

thinking that as a senshi she had gotten more merciful workouts protecting

the world from imminent destruction. Of course those days were long since

dead and over, Minako had reached the brink of her stardom at the age of

21 now becoming a bit more settled, and doing less of her country trolloping,

and more smaller concerts.

That of course didn't stop her agent from thrusting upon her a 500 acre

mansion equipped with swimming pool, jacuzzi, pool table, and absolutely

nothing to do but rearrange furniture. Which she was in the midst of doing.

Minako wondered if this was a sign of early retirement from show business

when you had enough time on your hands to waste away an entire day

feng-shueing your 500 acre mansion.

Having given up entirely on moving the what seemed like 6 ton box, she

sat on the floor lotus-style, and counted the number of little dots of color

she could see in her vision. Suburban life did not sit well with her. She had

always been used to a life of danger, living life like you were going to die

the next day...that's what she regretted that she didn't die after having lived,

at least like she wanted. The mediocracy of all this domestic living irked her

to no end, and even though the concerts and the countless interviews took

its toll physically and mentally on her, she always enjoyed them.

Letting go of all restraint, Minako allowed her body to flop across

the tiled floors of the living room, and then allowed herself to take

joy(somewhat) in her favorite childhood pastime, sleeping.....

A myriad of feelings ran through her, and she felt an electric current

a wave of numbness pass through her, coaxing and wrapping her eyes

into the white. She had a dream. Minako rarely had dreams now after the

world was no longer in threat and their past live's 'mission' was complete,

but something was missing. She dreamt that she was running through the

mansion as the tiles were falling underneath her.

She kept running until she saw her reflection across the pool's edge...

she looked thin, pale, and weak. Her tan from the Cuban islands had faded

and in place of her once wiry and lithe frame, seemed just skin and bones.

She looked like shit. Minako touched her bony face and tried to recall when

she had last stopped for a meal while attempting to renovate her mansion,

or when she had even taken the time to actually walk outside for a bit.

Bile rose up in her throat threatening to heave out the contents of what

she did eat....nothing came out. She just stood there stooped over the edge

of the pool retching.

Coughing Minako watched her spittle make patterns in the cool reflection

that stared back at her mocking all of her existence for the world to see

what _the_ Aino Minako had become. She wanted to drown it all out....

in her head, she could hear the buzzing static of the tv she had left on,

while she slept sprawled out across the floor haphazardly. The small

flickering flame that burned in her heart grew fainter, as she plunged

face-first into the pool's surface, and gave herself up to the jaded life.

"MINAKO!"

A voice snapped her out of her fitful dreaming as she bolted straight up

hands flying to her hair in an attempt to regain some semblence of self.

Artemis had a flat-pan look as Minako smirked absentmindedly as she

picked up the cord phone where it was tangled around Artemis' head.

Now who could be calling at noon?

"Aino Minako, what can I do for you?" she replied crisply in english

while playing idly with the nails of her left hand.

"Oh my god! Minako! Why didn't you pick up on the first ring?" the voice

replied in Japanese.

Stunned silence settled around Minako for a few moments but quickly

realizing who it was that called her by simple deduction that only few

knew her direct phone number. Switching back to her native tongue

she tangled the cord between her fingers mouthing the words "it's

Usagi" to a rather frazzled Artemis.

"Usagi, how did I not guess that you'd be the one to call me at noon?

Don't you have anything better to do over there?" Minako teased Usagi

good-naturedly of course.

"Huh, what are you talking about? It's 8:00 pm over here," Usagi stated

quizzically.

Minako silently deducted the time zones from england over to Japan. There

was an awkward pause until Usagi broke it once again.

"Anyways, I'm sorry for calling you like this but...I didn't know who else to

call. I don't have Rei's number so I thought it'd be best if you knew first, and

you could tell Rei. It's urgent that you come back home."

Come back home? When had Japan ever been her home? The place that

she sought refuge in....memories of the other senshi filled her especially one

of a certain fire senshi one that had pleased and infuriated her at the same time.

Circumstances had made it so that they never clicked on a certain level, but

on some levels, it felt like the fire senshi had understood her at some point.

Even that small promise of a friend brought the color back a little to Minako's

cheeks and without missing a beat Minako answered back...

"Yes. I'll book the fastest flight....but what's wrong?"

there was another long pause and the only sound that Minako could hear

was the soft cooing cries of the baby on the other line....ChibiUsa....

"....it's Motoki....he's dying," Usagi replied her voice controlled and not like

the Usagi that Minako had become associated with, but a much more mature

woman, one who's hope seemed to dwindle on a line.

After that the only thing Minako was greeted with was a dial tone to mark

the end of the conversation. Releasing the breath that she didn't even know

she had held she gathered Artemis into her arms unconsciously and squeezed.

Artemis, doing his best to comfort Minako despite not knowing what the problem

was, bowed his head and prayed....

TBC


	2. Somewhere a Clock is Ticking

**Chapter 1: Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking**

_"Oh simple thing where have you gone?_

_I'm getting older and I need something to rely on"_

-_Keane_

Ami Mizuno straightened lengthwise in her chair as her ears

picked up the sounds of bustling feet and the soft silent coos

that Makoto was making. Ami pushed back her glasses and

smiled warmly at the bundle that Makoto held that had just wet itself.

"Little bugger...." Makoto murmured shyly.

"Haha...all babies are like that Makoto," Ami replies trying hard

not to make Makoto feel that her presence was a problem.

The two sat there for a long time watching the babies' small little

fingers clench at the front of Makoto's shirt. Life. That's what Ami

loved to see just the thought of being a doctor and saving whatever

small life she could brought meaning into her existence. Melancholy

wrapped around the two, making the moment more real, and gave the

cold room some warmth. This was what Makoto had made in all her

years of destroying Youma she thought she could nothing else but

fight...but now here she was, a mother of a very healthy baby boy.

"Have you decided what to name him, yet?" Ami asks tickling his

soft stomach.

"No. Motoki and I agreed that we'd name him together and since he's

at the hospital now for further testing it wouldn't be fair...I could've visited

him you know? But....the drugs he said made him feel like he just wasn't

really there, you know?" Makoto replie,d a hint of sorrow edging itself into

her voice, making it waver and almost break under the strain.

Suddenly the beauty and melancholy of the moment lost its appeal to Ami

like a bath of icy cold water had just poured itself in over her heart. More

importantly, Makoto who looked so young and childish just now tending to

her first newborn, now had the look of someone aged far beyond their years.

Ami felt the small dribble of guilt work itself into a knot in her stomach tightening

and unwinding.

"It's always the good people that get punished....always," Ami whispers surprised

at how rough and brusque her voice sounds.

Makoto looks up hesitantly her long brown hair rippling to the side of her beautiful head.

Her chestnut eyes regard Ami closely, worriedly.

"It's not your fault Ami. It's no ones....it's just fate I guess," Makoto shrugged trying to

make it look like it was no big deal.

"Oh, don't try to act so tough Makoto...you know you've never been happier when you

were with Motoki. Just when we were finally getting a little bit of happiness for ourselves

fate just had to one-up us all," Ami grounds through her teeth her sentence as the guilt seems

to bubble up in her, more than anger ever did.

Makoto hesitantly reaches out for Ami's hand squeezing it softly, trying in her own way

to tell Ami not to worry, even though she herself had about driven herself up the wall

with cooking to get rid of her stress.

"Don't worry my flower shop makes enough money to pay for Motoki's treatment.

Don't you worry he'll be back and up on his feet in no time," Makoto said cheerfully

trying to convince herself.

Ami hung her head wretchedly replaying the ill words the doctor had told her just

after Makoto had made her way into Motoki's room.

_"there's no hope....even if he has the treatment....he'll never live...." _

"What?" Makoto asked, as Ami had mumbled something incoherent under

her breath.

When Ami looked up however, Makoto felt her heart clench for some unknown

reason, as if Ami had just grabbed it in a vice grip and squeezed. Ami's eyes smarted

and quivered with unshed tears, she had promised never to cry again, not for

something she did, or chose to do. She had told Usagi that she would deliver

Makoto the ungarnished truth...

"Makoto there's no hope....the doctors said...that even if he has treatment done

he would never survive....Usagi and I, we tried to tell you, but it was....oh Makoto."

Upon seeing Makoto immediately tense up at her words Ami had moved forward to

hold the chestnut haired woman in a warm embrace. Makoto sat as still as a block of

wood, she didn't even notice when the baby started crying fitfully, as if it felt the blunt

of his mother's sorrow no longer caged in by the strong front she always tried to wear.

Ami herself couldn't keep back her tears as she cried gently into Makoto's shoulder, but

Makoto herself did not shed a tear.

It was if Makoto was now finally seeing things through with a crystal clear clarity,

as if everything that had gone on in her life had now been cleaned, and now did not

shine as well as it had the first time she set her eyes upon them. Everything up to that

one point in her life where she had seen Motoki in bed with her sleeping just peacefully

next to her was irrelevant, because the next day she had woken covered in blood as

well as he....

"I'll never forget that morning...he had suffered bloody noses from before, but it was

much worse than before. Before they stopped after a day or two...they did. I just thought

it was a cold. I thought it was me you know...because I was still weak from the pregnancy.

He was so happy that we finally had a child....I made him happy...." Makoto murmured her

voice trembling.

Ami could do nothing more but lift her head from Makoto's shoulder sniffling. Ami hated

this part the most...because she could never even begin to comprehend Makoto's pain,

so she could never let past her lips the words "I understand". Makoto needed someone

else...someone who could speak from the same experience...

"Makoto, we need to start worrying about quality of life right now. They're going to

give him medication, so he can come home and live out the rest of his....time here...with

you. So you can name your baby boy," Ami whispered these words fearing that any

louder would cause Makoto to crumble away.

At these words Makoto seemed to snap back to her semblence of self as she stared

at Ami as if Ami had just drove a knife into her.

"You're asking me....to just stand back and watch him die?"

Ami winced at those words she had never wished any of this especially on

Makoto. Makoto then interrupted Ami before she had stated her apology. Makoto's

voice held venom to them, much like when she was younger and still a schoolgirl,

and she was facing a Youma, but this time it was a friend it was directed at.

"You're just like all of them. You don't give a damn about Motoki you just

want him to lay down and die! You don't know what the hell I'm going through..."

"Now, Makoto I would never wish harm on you or Motoki! I'm just

telling you how it is!...this isn't like when we were younger and we could

get by just by scraped knees and broken bones...be rational," Ami shot back.

Makoto herself took a step back at Ami's words as if Ami was now a

flaming pit of fire instead of a friend. Then suddenly in a burst of strength

Makoto grabbed Ami's shoulder fiercely with one hand, and holding the baby

with the other, brought her face close to Ami's forcing her to look into her eyes.

"Fuck you. FUCK YOU!"

Ami flinched visibly not by the use of the words, but the force behind them

that slowly, unfastened all the screws in her usually controlled exterior. The baby

in Makoto's arms recognizing the anger in his mother's voice let out a high-pithced

wail seemingly scared of his own mother's voice. Makoto issued another string of

curses as she rocked the baby back and forth attempting to quiet him, when he

refused to be quiet Makoto angrily spat at Ami to go. Ami reluctantly willed her feet

to move, and just before she closed the door she saw out of the corner of her eye,

Makoto viciously scraping away a tear with her knuckle as she rocked her child.

In her car Ami sat shell-shocked as she turned on the ignition not knowing where

else to go. She had to get to a hotel or somewhere....somewhere far away where

she could wallow in her guilt and self-pity, at her inability to console Makoto, but she

knew deep in her heart of hearts, that as a friend she could never give Makoto what

she needed, because Makoto's heart was far far away deep in Japan's most renowned

hospital, clinging onto his every breath.

Ami drove around until her car broke down and she counted the number of ticks

on her watch before it burned out. She found herself by the beach watching as the

waves ate away at the shore, wishing that the waves would just eat away the ache

that was forming in her heart...


	3. In My Place

**Chapter 3: In My Place**

_"In my place in my place_

_lines that I couldn't trace_

_I was lost, I was lost_

_in lines that I couldn't change_

_yeah, how long must you wait for me?_

_Singing please, please come back and sing to me_

_please, please come back and sing with me." _

Hands gripped firmly at a broom vigilantly sweeping away

angrily at the cobblestone entrance of Hikawa shrine, the user

apparrently unaware, that she has been sweeping a hole into

the ground already. Huffing Rei Hino brushes her hair away

from her eyes as her bangs have seemed to work themselves

out of the tight ponytail she has it drawn in.

Hikawa shrine is somber as it always was but it wasn't quiet,

it was as loud as it could be, with Rei's famed temper on the rampage.

She was angry at a lot of things, about her incompetence to manage

a faucet for her anger, her damned power, and most of all she was

angry with herself, for not being there when her grandfather had obviously

needed her. When she had gotten wind of his death, it had not been through

her heightened senses and precognitive powers, but by a letter designated

to his next of kin.

Her lips pressed thin she stormed her way through the Hikawa shrine's many

sliding frames and kneeled intently by the Sacred Fire. Rei tried to collect her

scattered thoughts enough to concentrate on the vibes that the Sacred Flame

was giving her. She got nothing. The steady tick in her mind slowly got louder

as everything she had worked so hard to accomplish to hone her skills seemed

to amount to nothing. She had traveled as far as Kyoto for kami's sake...she had

rescued kids from buildings, and warned people of disasters before-hand. She was

like a japanese Wonderwoman over in Kyoto, but for everything she had gained

she still could not contain her rage.

She could feel her nails dig into her palm and the pain brought her some relief

as if the blood seeping from her wound would drain away all of the mounting

frustration she felt building on her shoulders. When she had gotten to Hikawa Shrine

the only thing left of her grandfather had been his will and his "best wishes".

Rei knew that his words were meant for her to interpret at her will, and when

she was mature and old enough to understand she would, but it still angered her

at not being able to comprehend what her grandfather had meant by, "I'm setting

you free".

Just as Rei was about to stomp her foot ridicuously she sensed a familiar aura

hang around the shrine entrance and curiosity getting the better of her she hurried

out.

And there in all her Parental glory was Usagi no longer with Odangos but with her

hair tied into a loose ponytail. Rei could've barely recognized her if it hadn't been for

that small glimmer in Usagi's eyes that brought back memories of times gone by. Rei

was nostalgic for a moment as she remembered the many times they had teased Usagi

relentlessly with such things as , "Usagi no baka", but now she guessed wasn't the

time to bring back the old times it was the time to relish in the new, and forget about

who you were before, because the world was not going to wait for you to get over

your glory days, although Rei never liked to call it their glory days she had to admit that

she had never been happier in those days. Nothing in Kyoto could compare

to her experiences fighting as a senshi, no other task had made her cry, made her laugh,

and made her feel like part of something whole, and not detached and alienated from the

world because of her powers, then when she was fighting with the senshi.

But now, just standing about 3 feet away from Usagi, it felt like they were oceans apart.

Too much time had past by between them they were different now, older, wiser in a sense,

but it was how they lived their lives now that set such a rift between. The tension was so

thick you could've cut it with a knife. Rei stood there hands clenching and unclenching as if

she could manage to, with her fingers, catch on some words to say. Rei didn't need to say

anything because that look in Usagi's eyes said everything, grief. Rei knew her calling

back to her old haunt was not a mistake....something important was about to change all

of them...

-----------------------------

(Crown Arcade)

Minako tapped her foot to a song that only she could hear play in her own head, as she

waited in the Crown, at the booth that supposedly Usagi and the others had occupied their

free time frequently at. She felt out of place here with her high heel boots, black leather jacket,

black tee, white skirt, and baseball cap. She felt like one of those women who tried to stay

young by trying to stay in one moment, one point in time where they were at the prime of their

youth.

True, she was here all for the sake of Makoto who was surely feeling worse than she

obviously did. Even though Minako had never been close to Makoto their small brief

cnversations had forged some understanding between them. They were both willing

to sacrifice everything for the sake of the mission, but now there was no mission to

die for, only a life left to live, and Minako felt that common bond that they shared dissolving

like tissue paper in water. What could she say to Makoto? A few consoling words perhaps,

but she could never carry on a conversation with the woman in her home, in front of her child,

and especially with the gloomy air that would kill their mood. What was left to say?

_"Oh, your husband's dying? Well that's just too bad, well me? Hmm I'm living in a 500 acre mansion with _

_my own pool and chinese takeout, and loads of money to waste all on my selfish soul, which really_

_the money just sits in my bank because I don't know what to do with it, and oh my ass I think is just_

_too fat." _Minako muttered underneath her breath unable to bite back her morbid sarcasm.

She could never really hold back the pessimist in herself fully. It was something she had learned to do

when she was just a child, to believe that things were too good to be true. Where oh where had that

child-like innocence gone? Probably escaped into other children since as a child she had none.

"Stop your meticulous brooding, Minako. You're not the one who's losing someone dear to you,"

Minako chided herself again.

"Right," A voice beside Minako spoke for the first time.

Minako's knee jerked and in result she managed to bruise it just a little as her kneecap

hit the underbelly of the table. Sidling into the seat in front of her Ami breathed an exhale as

Minako observed Ami's eyes looked red and swollen from excessive crying. The look on Ami's

face though told Minako to drop the subject before she even asked and they sat in silence, which

Ami seemed to appreciate greatly. Minako leaned back and closed her eyes. For some reason

she seemed more at peace here despite the impending tragedy that was practically looming

its head over her.

She ignored the tugging at her eyelids as if something was telling her to

open her eyes and take a good look at things but she didn't....she no longer wanted to look

again at the world with such crystal clarity like she had when she was still Sailor V, leader

of the senshi...no...Sailor V would be no more. No other alter persona existed now, except

that of Aino Minako the superstar, the model, the singer, the misfit sitting in a booth alone

with a woman she barely knew....

--------------------

She could remember all the street signs that lead up to the crown. All the way to

sign that signified their rendesvous spot so many years ago. Nothing had changed

except now "The Crown" was a bit old, and no one under the age of 18 hardly ever

visited anymore, but this place still held some meaning to Rei.

But all the shops around the Crown had changed. They were all either renovated or

just shutdownm, replaced with something new, something bigger that kept up with

the style that teenagers were demanding this year. All of this new stuff glommed in

with the old stuff made Rei feel as if she didn't belong here anymore. That this was

no longer home like this was just another place she would visit for the holidays, and

forget all about it once she made her way out.

The smile she usually wore while in public slowly slipped away into the recesses

as Usagi paved the way towards the Crown. Rei didn't find it too hot that she was just

coming in unnanounced, after what seemed like forever, and just pop in and offer her

2 cents. She had never felt so uncomfortable this moment rivalled the moment where

she had found out that she had to sing for a children's hospital with the alias of, "Mars Reiko".

But seeing that familiar profile again framed by the sunlight from the booth window,

that one image made Rei stop dead in her tracks.

All she could lay her eyes on and occupy her thoughts with was how skinny and pale

Minako looked. In all the television shows and tv interviews Rei had seen her in, nothing

compared to how Minako looked now, she looked tired, no, downright exhausted. The leather

jacket that Minako wore did poorly in covering Minako's health, as her slim hands and wrists

seemed to grasp at a coffee mug on the table. Her once lithe and strong legs seemed more

like twigs now, and if Rei could've seen through Minako's shirt, she'd doubt she'd see any

muscle resistance, but what bothered her most was that picture that Minako painted in

her mind now, just seeing Minako eyes closed wearily, and sitting so that she was

leaning against the wall of the Crown sent thimbles of ice through Rei's heart.

She was still so young...yet she looked old. Rei wondered briefly if any of her fans

could recognize her now and if they did what would they say? More importantly,

what would Minako say? Would she have a ready excuse to blow them off, and

would she repeat that excuse to everyone that cared about her?

"Head like a hole," Rei muttered to herself, an analogy that she thought

fit Minako, and her pigheaded selfishness.

Rei gathered up her courage and walked the extra mile to the booth and

sat right beside Minako, telling herself that it was the only seat left that

wasn't taken, and that she wasn't pleased to see the star even in times

like this. Ami nodded slowly just to acknowledge Rei's existance but did

nothing else for that matter. Minako at the least turned her head slightly to

where Rei currently sat and gave her the briefest of smiles...Rei imagined

in her head the Minako that she had always thought she knew, the Minako

that knew where she stood and would go any length to accomplish what

she set out to do.

Usagi was always the one to break the ice but just this time Rei herself spoke

up.

"Usagi filled me in about Motoki....it was unexpected at the least. I...don't know what

to say....or do for the matter, what was the disease again?"

"Acute myelogenous leukemia," Ami spoke sounding much like a broken record player

as if that was the only thing she could repeat and comprehend.

There was that hushed silence again before the weight of the words crushed against

them and their small worlds, scattering all sense of newfound glory.

"Does it pass through the family? Is it hereditary? Is the baby Makoto is raising, going to

have it also?" Minako asked firing her questions in rapid sucession.

Rei had no idea how Minako managed to keep a straight face while faced with calamity,

maybe it was practiced, or maybe that was all she knew how to be when faced with tragedy.

The cool and collected leader. Rei fought back a derisive laugh at that statement she had made

in her head, and just lowered her gaze, the crumbs on The Crown floor becoming very interesting

to look at.

Ami shook her head slowly as she replied that no, they had tested Makoto's child for it, and

that he was safe and well. They all breathed a sigh of relief at that, the only good news Rei

thought that would come.

"And what about Motoki? He's gonna be fine too right? He's gonna live cause he's gonna

get treatment for his disease right?" Usagi's voice broke through brimming with hope.

It sicked Rei because she already knew the answer to Usagi's question, they all knew.

The only problem was convincing Usagi that it was true.

"Usagi...Motoki's not going to get better...he's going to get worse. The doctors said that

if he had come in for treatment earlier when the symptoms had started to show, then he

would've had a chance, but it's too late," Ami whispered quietly her whole frame seeming

to shrink before their eyes.

In turn Usagi's eyes went as wide as dinner plates, glassy and quivery, she was going

to cry. Rei turned her head away bitterly not wanting to hear any more of this "death" business.

She had, had just about enough from death's interference in her life. Minako, she noted stared

straight at Usagi with an apathetic look, one that Rei at times felt angered by.

"Haha....what does that mean?" Usagi asked her voice hitting a high note.

That was it....the final straw....

"IT MEANS HE'S GOING TO DIE YOU IDIOT! HOW DENSE CAN YOU BE? I'M SICK

AND TIRED OF US HAVING TO PRETTY THINGS UP FOR YOU!" Rei exploded whipping

around to glare at Usagi.

At that Usagi just broke down sniffling and crying not even trying the least bit

to hide it. Rei in her turn took Usagi's shoulders and shook them hard...she didn't

know why but at this point she hated everything about Usagi. Her clothes, the manner

in which she adressed things, the carefree nature at which everyone was trying

to shelter her in, and the naivete of it all. Why couldn't the truth just blow her over?

She wasn't a princess anymore, she was the mother of a 2 year old baby girl, she

would have to deal with death sooner or later.

Rei stopped immediately as she felt a hand grip her shoulder loosely and she

straightened up quickly the fire extinguished from her eyes. In the corner of her eye

she saw Minako's apathy take a curb and finally some sympathy seemed to leak from

her, but it was too late for her damn sympathy. Rei didn't need sympathy she needed

something to make the whole world disappear for a few days so she could collect herself.

Shakily brushing her hands away from her face she spoke her voice hard as steel, never

betraying how weak she felt inside.

"It's time you faced the truth Usagi. It seems hard to you but think about what it's doing

to Makoto. Right now, you have to be strong for her, because sooner or later it'll hit her too."

And at that Rei stormed away from the Crown away from the people she thought she knew

and the pull of destiny she felt at her heels. _I have away!_


	4. Look What You've Done

**Chapter 4: Look What You've Done**

_"Take my photo off the wall_

_if it just won't sing for you_

_'cause all that's left has gone away_

_and there's nothing here for you to prove_

_give me back my point of view_

_'cause I just can't think for you_

_I can hardly hear you say_

_what should I do, well you choose."_

She didn't know how long she walked trying to find her.

She didn't know why she even bothered to, but something in her

wouldn't let her let Rei go off so easily, and with so much things

they needed to say.

And fate had it that she stopped by the ferris wheel, whatever

it was child nostalgia was not dead. It was alive and true in the form of

Rei Hino. Minako approached tentatively studying Rei's form carefully

mentally touching her with her eyes. Every slight hand gesture and turn

of the head did not escape Minako's eyes. Rei was mad, and she wasn't

even bothering to hide it, from the slight crease in her eyebrows to the

quick breaths she took to try to calm herself. Noting that Minako was studying

her she stopped her rigid pacing and looked up into Minako's eyes.

Minako's self seemed to have been resurrected just a little as that same

mischevious yet cocky glimmer in her eyes shone through.

"Well, well, well. Still unemployed I see, judging by the way you dress," Minako

prodded trying to get some sort of reaction from Rei.

Rei exhaled a shallow breath as she closed her eyes and let her lips tug at

the corners of her mouth.

"I'm sorry but not everyone can be as glamorous as you. I actually help people

in fact. I work for the government now," Rei stated matter of factly.

At this Minako couldn't help but grab this opportunity.

"Hmm a CEO, huh, Rei? I always thought you were ruthless enough

to take the job. You must have had Gary Coleman cowering at your feet."

At this Rei couldn't help but be goaded into this banter. Actually, it was quite

helpful to Rei it let her work off her stress in a non-violent way, but it also gave Rei

the chance to not be civil around Minako.

"Hmm, oh really? And what are you now? Had enough of your strutting? Or did the

teenagers just drop you like dead weight?"

"Oh and all this time I thought work and miko duties would straighten you out,

figures I was wrong."

At this Rei cursed a curse that did her senshi title proud clenching her fists like

she always did when nervous. This moment had turned sour to Rei at the mention

of her duties. Minako noticing this change in Rei regarded her quizzically.

"Well, I'm not going to have miko duties to tend with anymore. Since my grandfather passed

away he let some big ass corporate managers to rennovate the shrine after he died so

it'd become a bar. So typical, and you know what happens to me? Actually his exact words

were more along the lines of, "I'm setting you free". He just couldn't tell it to my face that I

was worthless," Rei replied dryly but she couldn't hide the deep-rooted anger in her voice

anymore, or the frown now that marred her features.

"I think your grandpa would like it better if you actually fought for the shrine, Rei.

I think he wants to know what the shrine means to _you_," Minako second-guesses.

"It meant everything to me! He said it was supposed to be the place I could call

home! He knew what it meant to me," Rei turned her head away while she bit back

at Minako for trying to help her.

"Well maybe it has something to do with his last words..."I'm setting you free"

maybe your calling just isn't for the shrine, myabe he knew that, that's why he

didn't want you to worry over it. He _knew_ you belonged somewhere else and he

just left his last words to help _you_ find out where," Minako works out not paying heed

to Rei's remark.

"That's bullshit! I've found what I want...up in Kyoto," Rei exclaims in disbelief.

"What's there for you in Kyoto, Rei? A bunch of star-crossed children so happy

that they have a superhero they can look up to? Stop trying to cling onto the glory days

Rei. Sure, they'll praise you for your accomplishments and award you for your courage, but

when the time comes when you no longer can stand up to the "villains" and to their expectations,

they'll forget about you. They'll forget who you are, they'll forget that you even existed.

They'll leave you Rei."

"What do you know? You only sleep well at night because you have the luxury for it. I won't end

up like you," Rei shot back unable to stop the hurtful words rushing out from her mouth in a torrent.

Minako seemed shell-shocked at Rei's agressiveness and for once she found herself on the

recieving end of Rei's might and temper. Still, she stood her ground despite Rei having dealt

a mighty blow to her smarting pride. She still had a pride....that was good, but maybe because

she was only around Rei.

"And what do you know about me? Did you not even think about what you've just done to

Usagi? And to think you call yourself a friend. Maybe when you've hurt everyone around you

that you care about, maybe then you'll finally see what you have done," Minako quietly

intoned and delivered her retort much more calmly and smoothly then Rei.

"No. No, Minako. Take a look at what _you've_ done....I hope it makes you happy that I went

along with your lie, at least in front of Usagi. Look what you've done Minako, you've made a

fool of everyone. A damn fool...and I was the first fool to fall for it."

At this Minako's mouth slightly hangs agape and she takes a step back finally relinquishing

her stand. Quivering Minako let the helplessness bubble over as she couldn't stop herself

from shaking. Her stomach did flip flops and somersaults, as her fists clenched, and her

strawberry lips pressed thin together, as she fought for domination over her natural instincts.

She had never cried before, never, not in front of Artemis or anyone....she would not allow

herself to, after all that she had been through, she would not let someone's _petty_ words hurt her.

No matter how hard it struck home.

Rei watched Minako go through it all in silence as she observed the way Minako's lips pursed

together and the quivering of her shoulders. A wave of regret washed through her but she refused

to let it break through to her. She hated this new Minako, at what this Minako had become, she wanted

the old back. The one who wouldn't hesitate to prove you wrong, the Minako that hated to lose, not

fear it. Rei couldn't deny it, she had been lonely and she was looking for a friend, and she had hoped

she would find one in Minako, but it turned out Minako needed someone too. One person had to

be strong for _all_ of them in this time of crisis...

"_It might as well be me,"_ Rei thought further steeling herself and her eyes flashed briefly

with the desire to be strong.

Reaching over tentatively to not startle Minako she touched the tip of the collar of Minako's

leather jacket, and with the most tenderest of movements slowly started moving the jacket aside.

Facing her Minako's jacket's left shoulder started slipping off. The T-shirt alone that Minako wore

was baggy enough around her torso so that Rei could see how she was...overcome with this

feeling to protect and destroy at the same time, and she wrapped Minako loosely into a hug,

as if she could at least squeeze Minako's problems out from her.

Minako at first her heartbeat jumped at Rei's subtle touch, and she even tried to

push her away, but having not eaten anything at all since she had gotten Usagi's

phone call had drained away any resistance left in her limbs. To struggle was futile

so she learned to relax in the comfort of _someone_. She felt vulnerable and she believed

that if Rei was anyone else for that matter she wouldn't have cared, but only Rei

could invoke such a feeling out of her...one that ripped through her consciousness

like a flare.

It saddened Rei to feel Minako push against her, not because Minako refused to

try to be comforted, but it was the fact that Minako didn't even have the strength

to push her away at all. Rei realized with startling efficiency that she was stronger

than Minako now, she was responsible for everyone else, and the odd satisfactory

feeling in the pit of her stomach scared her, because it was like she was taking joy

in Minako's pain, like she loved to see Minako defenseless. No, she loved to see her

ruthless, so why was she enjoying Minako being so dependent on her? Sighing softly,

Rei pushed those thoughts aside, and watched the birds above Minako's head fly away,

carefree and careless.

"You know it's not a problem right? I just didn't eat anything at all these last few couple

of days that's why I look...I act like this, right?" Minako asked quietly her words gently blowing

on the creamy skin at the base of Rei's neck.

Rei hesitated at that swallowing gently as she knew what Minako asked of her. She was

asking her to lie, to forget that she even noticed, forget that she knew, and forget that there

even _was_ a problem. Minako felt the instinctive tightening of Rei's arms around her and the

quickening of her breath.

"I'm fine, Rei. It's just a phase...trust me, I'm all right. A few missed meals doesn't

make a difference," Minako said comfortingly, lying through her teeth.

At that Rei stiffened at Minako's touch and she hurriedly stepped away from Minako

anger again flashing in her eyes. Minako stumbled back at the pain she also saw in those

eyes wondering what she had said wrong.

"R-Rei?" Minako finally stuttered surprised at how much she let go of her voice.

"No! Don't say that you're okay because you're not! You have a problem and you need

to realize that....I thought you cared...or at least acknowledged that I cared about you. I'm

not going to start a lie for you again, not ever. I was a fool to think you'd listen to me, and you

even had the audacity to lie to me! To my face!" Rei spat feeling like she was on the midst of an

implosion.

She couldn't breathe in the same air as Minako anymore, couldn't take the sight of Minako's

pale and clammy frame anymore, and she didn't know if she could ignore that wounded look

in Minako's eyes anymore. So she turned and ran. She had never run away before ever since

she was a child and they had announced her mother's death to her, she had run away, because

she couldn't take it. Like that time, and many more, she was running from the people she loved.

And briefly just briefly Rei wondered why she had been on the verge of believing Minako. Minako

had almost made her believe that she was all right, that it was just a phase, but the feel of Minako's

body against hers, provided the undisguised truth that she needed to break free, but why? Why did

she try to lie for her?

_"Because only fool's believe...." _

then she was a fool for all she knew, for all her life, after everything had come and gone, she was

still a fool, because she believed....


	5. Everyday Goodbyes

**Chapter 5: Everday Goodbyes**

_"she foolishly tries to convince herself that she'll be fine_

_she blows all her kisses to no one as the phone rings again,_

_she just closes her eyes_

_she covers her ears and screams "please not today!"_

_she cries and then she sighs _

_and gets down on her knees yelling _

_"I don't believe what has happened to me" _

The static of the tv greeted her again as she sat in her motel

near Juuban district as she contemplated or pruned over the

events that occurred at the ferris wheel, she knew that their

relationship could only get worse beyond this point. It was the lowest

of all lows. Inbetween the low blows there was nothing else, but

defeat and self-pity from her part, and Rei had a good reason to

blame her, but it wasn't like she just sat there and let things fall apart.

Aino Minako did not take things lying down.

Chewing slowly on the apple that she had been gnawing on for the last

3 hours, she got herself ready for her Japan exclusive interview, since news of

her arrival had finally hit the media. Fingering her various items of clothing she

went for the simple white tee with the words Fashion Slave on the cover and some

jeans. You could never go wrong with jeans....she decided for a casual dress this

evening at the interview, because she had spent little time on what to pack. Artemis

in the corner of her eyes was watching her intently she always found him doing that

for some odd reason lately, and there was that sorrow she always saw, not pity but

it still irked her for some reason.

"Is that fool Kaijou going to be with you for the interview?" Artemis asked sullenly.

Minako smiled briefly at the mention of "the fool". He was another superstar like her

but he made movies instead of music, and he did have a certain knack for what he did, she

had to admit, but getting together with him was just a publicity stunt. A publicity stunt that

had lasted for about 2 years already, now everyone was convinced that they were serious

with each other. Minako's agent just couldn't let this brand name superstar slip past thier grips

and really Kaijou was none of Minako's concern. He only showed up for public appearances

hanging onto her arm obediently like a well-trained dog.

Kaijou did not take his luck for granted though, for every chance he got his hands would roam

conveniently over any part of Minako's body, despite her hissing at him in his ear that if he didn't

stop he'd be missing more than his hand. Minako did not make idle threats either, but for the public

eye they were the happiest couple on the face of the earth. After tonight though it would all change

Minako would break all connections off with him, he had gone too far last time, touching her leg.

Minako was not oblivious to the desires of men, she knew all about the hungry looks that swept

her body, from the moment she got onstage or did an interview, but Kaijou was a fool if he believed

that Minako would give him herself just for the sake of some fame and a few minutes in the spotlight, no,

she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of sitting on tv and pronouncing to the world how he fucked

Aino Minako.

"Don't worry Artemis after this the charade is over," Minako murmured suddenly finding that the apple

had no taste.

"_Which charade?" _the little voice in her head just had to pop in and offer its two damn cents. Exhaling

a heavy breath Minako chose to ignore that little voice and proceeded to snuff it out by casting aside

the apple for a peach. Minako dearly wished that she could eat some chocolate, just indulge herself a little,

even a crumb would suffice, but the diet she was on the so-called Atkin's diet which she dubbed "The inferno",

refused to let her even touch one drop of sweetened sugar or carb. White chocolate that was what she loved,

and she would've spent her days toiling around in her room relishing in her hidden stash of white chocolate, if

it wasn't for her damned fitness trainer who had the eyes of a hawk and the nose of a dog.

6:30...time for the interview as Minako tread softly to the changing room, and quickly slid her clothes off

and donned on the new ones, gingerly rubbing at the spot that she had gotten her recent bruise from. Even the

slightest bump caused her to have horrendous bruises due to the fact that now she was mere skin and bones.

She quite liked her image right now, but Artemis and the others, especially Rei found a problem with it. Minako

liked how she looked now, but still something was strange, a bit off, as if her perspective on things had been

tilted. She hadn't noticed it before but now she was beginning to see the little quirks and simple things. Like how

weak she had become, how whenever she tried to shove Kaijou off she found it extremely hard, maybe she

did have a problem, but if she did Minako thought, then she should be alone in helping herself. She had always

done good when she was alone...

A hard rapping on her door brought her back to her senses as she heard Kaijou whistling softly outside.

Artemis had a look on his face that was a cross between disgust and despair but Minako petted him comfortingly

assuring him that tonight would end it.

------------------------

(3 hours later)

Minako cursed inwardly as she looked outside the window of her limousine as Kaijou's hands

did a small tippy toe up her leg to rest on the junction of her hip. Smacking his hand away defiantly

she fixed him with a glare that would have killed any lesser man, but Kaijou was not one to just

learn his lesson and back away. He continued with this cat and mouse game all the way back to

Minako's little "retreat" her agent had just offered her at the interview, saying that a motel was

just too cheap of a place for her to be seen in. Of course, Minako had agreed and now she had

to contend with the Kaijou and his roaming hands.

Her "retreat" was more like an old traditional japanese home with sliding doors and backyard

lakes with small little goldfish in them. Minako smiled slightly at the natural beauty around it, and she

forgot for just a moment, that she was in a limousine that smelled like cheap wine with someone

she disliked beyond words.

It got worse when she approached her door because she found a hand groping her butt. Whipping

around sharply she slapped him so that the sound reverbrated throughout the block. Grinning as he nursed

the swelling on his cheek Kaijou blew it off as he followed Minako through the house.

"Did I say you could come in?" Minako asked coldly.

"Does this mean it's over?" Kaijou asked simply his face not showing any emotion.

Minako didn't answer because she thought showing him her back was enough to emphasize

the point. It did, but before turning and going out the door he left one thing to Minako.

"You'll regret this later, bitch."

After hearing the limousine drive away Minako collapsed to the floor flustered and clearly

not doing well. Her breathing came labored as she wrapped her arms around herself wishing

to make her skin stop crawling. She wanted to wash away every residue of his touch from her.

Artemis upon hearing the commotion, leapt down from the countertop he was set upon, and

clambered onto Minako's lap batting at her hair softly. At the feel of Artemis against her, Minako

hugged him to her fiercely, rubbing her face gently against his back.

"There's something wrong with me I know Artemis....but it felt so good when I started," Minako

murmured.

"Minako the first step to getting out of this hell is admitting you have a problem, now it's up to you

to decide what to do, you need help Minako, you can't do this alone anymore," Artemis replied softly.

Minako nodded slowly as she stilled her frazzled nerves and as she looked at the now vacant

space where Kaijou had once occupied with his looming figure she felt finally that her ghosts had

stopped plaguing her. She felt refreshed....

Sitting up she stared into Artemis's eyes and giggled softly out of contentment. Artemis gave her a

quizzical look but smiled nonetheless.

"Tomorrow......" Minako murmured as she leaned back into against the wall of her new house

succumbing to sleep.

"Yeah......tomorrow...."


	6. Codependency

**Chapter 6: Codependency**

_"saw an angel in blue jeans today  
I felt that she melted all my bitterness away  
You always tried so hard to hide your wings behind your coat  
So let it be and let them free  
So you can't hoover low above the ground._

_You look so tired you've got moonbeams in your eyes  
And if I believed I know you'd be the first to fly  
You always tried so hard to hide your wings behind your coat  
So let it be and let them free  
So you can't hoover low above the ground_

I'll find sunshine sometime soon."

Minako wondered why she had thought this would be

easy. She had just arrived at the most renowned hospital

in Japan to question the symptoms of her "problem", and

right off the bat the nurse had screamed out, "OH MY GOD,

it's AINO MINAKO!" so that almost everyone in the hospital

who wasn't deaf could hear.

As soon as the hype was over the nurse had bustled

Minako into a private room, and told her to wait for the doctor

and that no doctor could ever refuse to see her, and that if they

couldn't find a cure that she would donate her organs if that meant

Minako would live. Minako found it to be amusing that the nurse didn't even

know what the problem was and she was already promising her a

healthy kidney.

Soon the doctor did come in his trademark lab coat with his tools

of trade in his hand, one look at Minako though he did a double take but at

least managed to not make a commotion. Briefly his eyes flitted across her

form but he did nothing more than just check her tonsils and heartbeat.

"You seem to be in good health Ms. Aino, I don't understand

why you would come here," The doctor mused.

"Well, I have an....eating problem that I need to get fixed," Minako

replied simply as she could resisting the urge to mutter out a, dear god.

The doctor coughed at this...

"Anorexia? Well, Ms. Aino it's very common upon stars like you today.

You have to know that you are not alone in this crisis many others feel the

same way you do," the doctor dictated sounding a lot like her agent.

"_What, they feel hopeless and depressed and goddamn dirty?" _Minako murmured

to herself a small smirk forming its way onto her lips.

"We have a 12-step program we provide in such cases if you feel you can't just simply

quit, and of course we also believe in confidentiality, we'll do anything in our power Ms. Aino

to assure that your reputation goes untarnished."

12-step program? To Minako that sounded like another sleazy way to cop her for money, so

she politely said yes but when the doctor left she slowly slid through the doors and out into the

parch white hallways. Being back in a hospital again for whatever reason gave Minako a sense of

deja vu. She didn't like hospitals from the way they smelled, the creepy nurses who always smiled

while they took your blood, and mainly disturbing fact that in a hospital, all was quiet. Shivering slightly,

Minako tried to walk calmly to the exit to not disturb anyone else but stopped when she heard a protest

from the room left of her.

"OW!"

"Ms. Hino please remain still. You should've known what would happen if you jumped off a

two-story building with no pads or equipment whatsoever," the monotonous voice of the doctor

interlapped with the grunts and protests from said patient.

Worried just a little and curious in all Minako peeked through the doorway to see Rei with her

left arm in a sling while the doctor she had just talked to prodded her overtly with a shiny blunt object.

Without a word Minako entered, much to the disbelief of Rei who upon seeing Minako jumped up

as if she had been shocked, and seemed to want nothing than to actually run through the window

and out into the streets than face Minako.

"M-M.s Aino?" the doctor stuttered stiffening up quickly.

Minako then plastered on her best smile and wickedly grinned at Rei the whole situation

promising to be fun.

"Oh don't worry about me, but I just so happened to know to Ms. Hino by accquaintence,"

Minako replied sweetly.

"What!?" Rei exclaimed flustered beyond words.

"Really? And really Ms. Hino, don't interrupt when someone is talking especially

_the_ Aino Minako," the doctor reprimanded Rei.

Rei's skin then colored a little as she knew that it would be best to keep her mouth shut

than to protest any further since it would get her nowhere, this doctor was too starstruck.

"Yes, I know because of my accquantince with her late grandfather," Minako lied enjoying

the look on Rei's face.

"Oh and what business do you have here?"

"Well I'm the only other person here that Rei has who can take care of her because goodness knows

her grandfather certainly had a hard time, so I was thinking maybe you could let her off in my care?" Minako

asked getting straight to the point without garnishing anymore white lies then needed.

the doctor though still in the right state of mind couldn't comprehend why not, since Ms. Hino clearly

did not have anyone else. It was Aino Minako for a good measure who wouldn't want to be taken care of

by her? And thus, he signed the release forms and Minako walked away with a more than agitated Rei.

Minako couldn't help but let a self-indulgent smirk grace her figures as she neared her van with

Rei-in-tow. Opening the door casually she allowed Rei to go through since Rei was the one with the

injury.

"I want to go home," Rei muttered sullenly when she had her seatbelt buckled.

Minako just nodded and rested against the car window singing softly to herself

a few moments of silence passed as none of them said a word.

"What were you in the hospital for?" Rei asked quietly as Minako seemed

to have almost dozed off in the silence.

Shaking her head to wakefulness Minako looked at Rei unguardedly smiling softly.

"What do you think I was in there for?"

Without a reply Rei just lowered her head so that Minako wouldn't see the smile

that she wore now, embarassed to let Minako see her smile, but Minako knew, and that

was all that was needed, complete understanding. Where not even words would be

enough.

"When did you get all Wonderwoman and break your arm?" Minako asked her mood

lightened now.

"Some rapist was holding down a little girl I had to help," Rei muttered indignantly.

"Were there other people there?" Minako asked softly.

"Yeah....but they ignored it, I couldn't believe it. Someone young and innocent was being hurt

and all they could do was talk amongst each other and try to ignore it. I hate people like that, the

ones that think that ignoring it will make it go away," Rei confessed.

"Sometimes, ignoring it _is_ the only way to make it go away. So you can forget the bad things."

"I know! Nobody ever chooses to have bad memories...."

-------------------------

It had taken about an hour long ride for them to reach Minako's abode,

due to the fact that the press had been swarming around Minako's house for

days waiting for a glimpse of the star. Minako had managed to dodge them once

who said she couldn't do so twice? So that's how Rei wound up in the backyard

of an outrented house clambering over a fence over into Minako's backyard.

"I'm injured for kami's sake couldn't you spare me and just put up with the

press?" Rei asked as Minako helped her manuever her injured arm over.

Minako smiled but she didn't say anything as she stepped gingerly over the kingfish

pond and into the living room of the house. Rei thought it was strange that Minako would

rent a house that looked like a shrine, that looked exactly like Hikawa shrine, smiling

a little at the irony she followed Minako into the house and watched quietly as Minako

poured out tea.

Upon entering Rei was swarmed by two burly looking men all dressed in black suits

and sunglasses. Rei would've beaten them upside the head for obscuring her path but Minako's

voice halted her progress.

"Yasou, Kyou it's all right she's a friend. Help her please she's injured."

the more lean and taller one Rei thought was Yasou and the shorter and more

compact one must be Kyou as they helped her up the steps to sit down across from

Minako. Gracefully Rei picked up the tea cup and grimaced as she found the tea

to be ice cold. It must have been out here for a long time untouched because she

could see sediments of leaves floating on the bottom. Coughing a bit, she set the

teacup back down, vowing to never drink anything Minako offered her without

checking on it first, but Rei was not the one to beat around the bush so she

tried to be as straightforward as she could be, without hurting Minako's feelings of course,

yeah right....

"I thought I told you to take me home. I don't recall this being home no matter how much

you try to substitute it for one, I recall you never having a home."

Minako stared wide-eyed for a moment at Rei's nonchalant act of giving her the cold shoulder.

Her eyes took on this steely look like she often did when faced with adversity and she grounded

her lips together softly, and then spoke.

"I remember you saying Hikawa shrine was being turned into a bar. Getting lonely aren't you, Rei?"

_"Okay, I deserved that,"_ Rei thought to herself but still refused to back down.

It was always their bull-headed stubborness keeping them from saying the things

they meant to say, and usually it just led to turned heads and smarting egos, so what

was the point? Mindless fun. They liked it on a certain extent because it helped them work

out the tension and it helped them steer clear of the funky feelings they had been having, and

Rei would do anything to not think for a day or two.

Low blows were traded as the two friends bantered good naturedly across at each other,

as they let their words cross the distance that had been made by time, and found themselves

getting along better than they ever could when they were younger. Soon talking jovially they started

talking about the baby which eventually led to a dead stop at Makoto....

Silence could kill, that's what Rei had learned as she watched Minako's hands idly fiddling with

her teacup, and in turn Minako watched Rei's hair sway back and forth with the cool breeze

that was flowing throughout the entire house.

"You think....Makoto will be okay?" Minako inqueried softly.

Rei couldn't handle questions about Makoto's welfare any longer, she'd rather prefer

they'd talk about something she could take and handle, and solve right on the spot. Pinching

her forehead she closed her eyes and exhaled a shallow breath.

"What about you? Are you....really going to stop? Or is this just another lie?"

Minako considered this fact for a moment wondering really how resilient her will was anymore

after 3 long years. Seeing the pause, Rei scoffed and turned her head away boring holes through

a rock she was looking at angrily, as if pulverizing it would make things better. She jumped slightly

as she felt a warmth envelop her hand and it was only until then did she look into Minako's eyes.

"It's not a lie....but I don't think I can do it, Rei. I can't do this alone...that's why I brought you

here instead of to your shrine," Minako whispered softly so that her bodyguards couldn't hear.

Rei felt her muscles tense up, and every nerve in her body seem to pinpoint their directions

toward her hand, which currently was being nursed by Minako's palm. She found it hard to

get her throat and her voice to work again, as she transfixed herself on the steady circles, that

Minako's thumb was working into the tender flesh of her knuckle.

"What are you implying I do?" Rei asked hoarsely resisting the urge to pull her hand away.

Minako sucked in a heavy breath, because she never liked to ask for help, especially from someone

she had sought so hard to mentor years ago.

"I'm asking for you to stay with me Hino Rei just for the time being until Motoki....no, until the end. Until

Makoto no longer needs us for support, until I can finally do this on my own."

Rei almost fell backwards as she heard those words coming from Minako, it was just simply alien, to hear

that Minako _needed_ her. Rei's heart seemed to skip a beat considering that she take the offer. Minako would

never be the same after this, contradicting everything Rei sought so hard to do, to try to get Minako back to

the way she was, but was it so bad? Also, since the Hikawa shrine was getting renovated she had nowhere

else to go, and Minako had a homely enough abode to get her by, but did she really want all the press homing in

on her. Especially after that hospital fiasco, soon enough word would get out about Minako being in the hospital,

and plus Makoto needed them all right now, she couldn't just forsake her. Pursing her lips Rei made up a quick

solution....

"I'll help you Minako....but it'll come with a price...."


	7. Changes

**Chapter 7: Changes**

_"everybody's changing _

_You're gone from here _

_And soon you will disappear_

_Cause everybody's changing _

_And I don't feel right _

_So little time to try to understand that."_

Makoto tried her best to smile at the nurses passing her by

in the waiting room but inside her heart was beating frantically. This

would be the first time she would see Motoki in the hospital, and

to tell you the truth she felt a little chicken. She wondered if Motoki

would look the same as he did before he got to the hospital, and she

wondered if she would even be able to recognize him. All these questions

buzzing around her head forced her fingers to clench against the fabric

of her skirt nervously as her eyes darted around the building and its

white interior.

Finally, the doctor appeared brandishing a clipboard with a contract she had to sign,

and then he guided her to Motoki's room 223 in the intensive care unit.

"Oh, and a word of caution. He has to have everything done for him by

machines now, so he can't speak because there's a tube in his mouth helping

him breathe, but don't worry. He can still hear you, though he may be a little

drowsy because of the painkillers we have given him. So, that being said are

you ready?" the doctor said enunciating all of his words as if Makoto was either

stupid or just shell-shocked.

"Thank you, doctor for putting that in Layman terms for me. I think I need a

minute...to steady myself, thank you," Makoto whispered putting her head upon

the number plate of the door, if she concentrated really hard, she could actually

hear the steady beep of Motoki's heart monitor from the doorway.

Respecting her wishes and her privacy the doctor beat a hasty retreat and

left Makoto alone. Makoto had thought it'd be the best to leave the baby at Usagi's

because she knew Motoki would not want his boy to see him like this. Exhaling a

breath her hand flew toward the door knob and turned it.

Biting back a cry Makoto edged forward into the room just as Motoki's head raised up a

little to see who it was. He had a plastic breathing mask around his face and true to the

doctor's word he had a tube through his mouth connected to an oxygen machine. Motoki had

two iv's pumping liquid into his veins, and another tube seemed to be inserted into his nose,

filtering out his blood. He had lost a lot of weight since Makoto had last seen him and it had

only been a week.

"Hi," Makoto whispered as she pulled up a chair next to his bed careful to avoid the

medical equipment.

"MMM," Motoki grunted in reply doing his best to smile around the tube.

"The baby I have to tell you is doing so well but I think he misses his father. When are

you coming home?" Makoto asked.

Motoki in turn looked sullen all of a sudden and he looked down at his hands trying to figure

out how to say it in words. He didn't need to, because right then Makoto had got it, she finally

let it sink through.

"Am I in your way Motoki? Is the baby and I stopping you from letting go of all this pain, just

to be here for us?"Makoto asked weakly as her knees wobbled.

"MMM! MMM!" Motoki grunted in protest, wide-eyed as he tried his best to wrap Makoto in a hug.

Makoto returned the hug nonethless tears smarting her eyes...she knew it....her child would have

no father, but she had to savor this moment as it was. Pulling back she wiped the tears away from her

eyes, and Motoki's, knowing how Motoki had always told her that grown men didn't cry. Smiling wanly

at Motoki she smoothed out her skirt determined to have this conversation because this could be as

well their last.

"So I've been thinking of baby names," Makoto started and smiled warmly as Motoki seemed to brighten

up at that. "And...I've decided that you should be entitled all the credit to naming him, since you know easily

which names get picked on."

Motoki looking a bit more alive motioned for Makoto to bring him a pen and a pad, on the table next

to her, and she brought it eagerly. Tapping the pen against the pad of paper Motoki was deep in thought.

Makoto sat fixated awaiting even just the smallest graces of the pen against the pad of paper. The air

around the room thickened as Motoki grunted in frustration gently tapping against his forehead for inspiration.

"Iwai?" Makoto suggested and right off the bat she knew Motoki disliked it because he looked at her

funny. "What? What's wrong with that name?"

Motoki in answer just shrugged and went back to his meticulous tapping and Makoto suddenly

felt a hint of annoyance, the first sign of normality entering her veins. She was happy for that little

feeling of annoyance because slowly her heart had started to accept the little painful facts, and now

she was determined in making use of all the time she had left, no matter how sparse it was.

Suddenly Motoki started causing a ruckus in the bed and Makoto stared at him flabbergasted.

How could he be sick after that? Staring intently at Makoto, Motoki started coughing fiercely as

the tube seemed to have gotten twisted inbetween his legs. Panicking, Makoto worked hurriedly  
to untangle the tube before Motoki choked. After having calmed down Motoki hurriedly jotted

down a name and handed it quickly over to Makoto.

Upon seeing the name Makoto smiled warmly, if this was what Motoki wanted, then his wish

would be granted. Tearing up a little Makoto pocketed the pad of paper and looked at him earnestly.

"Motoki.....I swear to you, your son will not forget you. I won't let him I'll entertain him with stories,

and someday I'll tell him the truth about his mommy. I know, that when he grows up he'll be just like

you with the same goofy antics, but still the same big heart.This I promise you, you may be gone in

form but your memory shall always be constant a constant thing," Makoto whispered fiercely

clasping Motoki's hand.

Motoki then looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time and in his mind he pictured

the first day he had fallen in love with her. He saw in Makoto now the woman who meant the

world to him. He saw in her the fire again, and it made him happy to see her like this, it meant that

one day she would finally be able to let him go. It meant that even though her pain would not be

gone from her she would still go on, and to Motoki that simple fact meant the world to him. Smiling

gently he patted her hand softly, and brushed away a strand of hair that had gotten loose, and placed

it back behind her ear.

They managed a thin smile towards each other knowing that the other had to go on, but this

one moment, and one moment only, belonged solely to them, and when she left the hospital that

day she left with her heart feeling much lighter, and as she finally took a huge inhale of air

from her lips came gracefully the name that had been scribbled so carelessly on that pad of

paper, was the name she whispered slowly into the air.

"Haru......"

----------------------

(Crown Arcade)

Ami sat at the same spot she had sat in since the last time dejectedly as she spooned her

chocolate milkshake with her straw. Across from her, her sensei or mentor for the university

she went to, slowly ate his sundae his mess of blonde hair a highlight in the Crown's average

day customers, as he seemed to draw a bit of attention. Dr. Schoen, seemed to be raving

about how beautiful Japan was, and how lovely it's women and sites were in rapid english

to Ami who seemed not the least bit attentive. Soon, as he began to tire of this one-sided

conversation he seemed to notice his sullen-looking assistant.

"Er, Ami? Daijobu? He asked her switching to his faulty Japanese.

"Eh? Oh....H-Hai?" Ami sputtered finally getting out of her depressed stupor.

"You seem a bit odd Ami are you sure you're not catching a cold?" Dr. Schoen asked

worry etching onto his face.

"Oh no, Doctor. I'm just.....I just don't know anymore, that's all," Ami replied quietly as

she finally took a sip of her now warm chocolate milkshake.

"Is it because of your friend's death? he asked.

"Yes and no. More along the lines of...people involved. I just didn't know how hard it

would be. To tell them that the person they loved the most was going to die, and more

importantly how hard it was for me to accept it, and to top it off she _hates_ me now," Ami

murmured grounding her straw through her fingertips clearly agitated.

"It's always hard Ami, but what you must keep in mind is it's not your fault. People die

for a reason unknown to any of us, all we can do is try to lend a helping shoulder to those

who are suffering, and try our best to understand it too. Death is just another part of the

life cycle," Dr. Schoen explained reverting back to his cool and in control state.

Ami felt like they were in the classroom again and he was lecturing her on how to cut

through a person's skin carefully with a scalpel to extract their organs, and it made her

squemish for the first time to see him adressing such a grave matter, with razor sharp

efficiency. Sighing softly Ami hung her head a little wrinkling her nose in a peculiar manner.

"It's just not that either. I-I'm training to be a doctor....a person who helps try to save

lives, and yet if I had just studied harder than maybe I would've come up with an answer

to Makoto's problems. Maybe if I had studied harder I would've recognized Motoki's symptoms.

I just....I just don't know anymore," Ami murmured ashamed to even look at her sensei's eyes.

Slowly, it dawned on Dr. Schoen and he dropped his spoon against his bowl. Clearing his

throat he fixed Ami with an earnest gaze.

"Ami, are you trying to tell me you want to quit? After all the hard work you've done to

try to follow in your mother's footsteps?....I don't understand," Dr. Schoen murmured ruffling

a hand through his hair.

"That's the point....I thought it would be easy. I thought when a disappointment came, it came

and I would just go on with my life. I used to deal in human lives, but it was always mine that I

dealt with, not others," Ami laughed a little at the irony of the situation. "And my dream to be a

doctor, even that was my mother's intent for me. I thought that if I followed in her footsteps, I'd

be safe from disappointment and having to deal with who I am and what I where I want to be

in life."

"Ami parents always play a heavy role in our personality and they can also influence

our goals and ambitions, but we can't let that stand in our way of what we want. I'll tell you

what Ami, if you decide not to follow through with this anymore then there'll be no hard

feelings, I won't tell a soul," Dr. Schoen replied trying his best to smoothe away Ami's

questions.

"I don't know what I want, I'm not my mother, I'm me now....and I've never felt so

lost in my entire life," Ami wept bitterly as all that she had kept inside rushed out of

her.

Dr. Schoen not accustomed to seeing any woman cry, tried his best to ignore

Ami instead of comforting her, thinking that was what she wanted. He had never

had to deal with one of his students losing track, usually they tried to finish the course

as quickly as they could, and go out there in the medical business and make money,

but Ami was different, she wasn't like all the other girls, she couldn't take it like all

the other girls.

"I wish things would've stayed the same. I've wished for a lot of things that I

don't deserve but why could fate not grant me just one? I hate having to wear glasses

and I hate not being able to know what's wrong...I hate it, I hate it," Ami hiccuped

covering her face with her hands.

Dr. Schoen chose wisely to remain silent at this time since he didn't know a

thing Ami had just been talking about. It was all alien to him the troubles of not knowing

where you belonged. He had always known where he belonged he had found his

passion the problem was helping Ami find hers.

"Ami....people die everyday, but there are others born in their place. I'm not

saying that the people in our lives are replaceable, they're not, but there is

always hope that someone else will survive. Life Ami. I think that's what your

mother loved about being a doctor, and what you also love about it, don't you?"

Sniffling slightly Ami turned red eyes towards her mentor. Her fingers curled tentatively

around each other but yet she couldn't bring out the words "yes".

"It's okay, you don't have to give me an answer yet. When you're ready," Dr. Schoen said

lightly as he called for the tab and proceeded to pat her sympathetically on her shoulder.

As he left without a second glance back leaving Ami alone in the crown, Ami wondered when

that would be. When she would be sure of herself even to speak her own mind....much less

live like this any longer. Sighing dejectedly she pressed her forehead upon the windowpane

of The Crown and watched the sky turn it's colors into rich dark hues well into the night...

----------------

"WHY NOT MAMORU!?!?" Usagi's voice whined on throughout the small apartment flat

reaching a low pitch to Mamoru's adept ears.

"Because baka no one feels in the mood to do anything when the one they love is

about to die!" Mamoru retorted up to his ears in bills.

"But...but....but I want to cheer her up," Usagi murmured pouting softly.

Mamoru sighed creasing his eyebrows together as his pen hand seemed to ache

from writing a gajillion of checks over to some miscelleneous tax company. Usagi sat

brooding as she rocked ChibiUsa gently to sleep after her compliant had sent the child

into a wailing fit. Sometimes, Mamoru found it hard to discern just who was the child.

"Look, you do what you want to do, but don't blame me if Makoto doesn't like it,"

Mamoru gave in finally as he decided he had to pick his battles he _did_ not want to

sleep on that dusty leathery couch.

He had only slept there two times and it had smelled of cheese and stale books.

Although he did find the tv remote that had gone missing for months in the dark recesses

between the couch cushions. He had been wary now of what he said around Usagi

but sometimes the occasional slip went through.

"YAY! Don't worry we'll invite everyone....Ami and Makoto have to make-up. I

don't want everything to fall apart," Usagi confessed softly.

Looking up from his work Usagi's frown struck a chord in him and he got up slowly

and wrapped his arms around her trying to assure her that things wouldn't, but he

knew there was no way of telling...everybody was changing even Ami who he thought

seemed steadfast and collected now was even falling apart at the hinges.

He just didn't know anymore....and all he could do was comfort as best as he could. In

his mind he tried to convince himself that change was good, people got better after change,

things got easier....at least he prayed it so.

----

authors notes: All credits of Makoto and Motoki's baby name goes to Maggie who

graciously helped in naming the baby...thank her for stopping me from naming the

kid "Torto". Cest La Vie.


	8. As Things Collide

**Chapter 8: As Things Collide**

"_Telegram came today from a friend_

_saying where in the hell have you been_

_where are you going?_

_and I said, "I don't know does the loneliness show,_

_and if so does it ever end?"_

_and I've spoken with all the other angels_

_and they don't know what to do_

_and I agree with them whole-heartedly I do_

_you have this way of meaning everything _

_and nothing to me at the same time." _

The Hikawa shrine was as beautiful as ever with it's cherry blossom

rain everytime spring came it was the perfect sight for lovers, tourists, and

sight seekers everywhere. Too bad, the calm was disturbed by the screech of

car tires, and the dull thud of a car door being slammed shut. Minako Aino, strode

her way purposely up the Hikawa shrine's steps, and huffingly threw her luggage,

and her suitcase onto the steps petulantly. In other times Minako would've been much

more polite...and graceful with her baggage but at times like these, when she was

forced into a corner she could care less about how ruthless she was.

"Why, how nice. You left your baggage on the steps of my home for me to

carry into your room. Would you like anything else Ms. Aino?" Rei commented dryly

as she surveyed the flowery suitcase at the stairs.

Minako frowned at that comment fixing Rei with a hard glare at the atrocious validity

of that statement. Rei in turn sneered at her defiantly knowing how this rubbed Minako the

wrong way. Rei had agreed to help Minako for a very....pricey bargain. Minako ended up having

to tell the rennovators at Hikawa Shrine to beat it for about one mil, and plus to add insult to injury

she was going to have to live at the Hikawa Shrine, and submit to whatever Rei thought was good for

her health. Scoffing at that thought Minako started trying to count on her fingers how many days

they could stand each other.

Picking up her suitcases slowly just to at least reclaim some lost dignity she wondered why

she had sought for Rei's help in the first place. Rei in fact was thinking about how she was going to

get her life back together now that she had an intrusion in her space. Though it wasn't a nearly

an unpleasant intrusion she had to admit it did put her out of step. How was she going to accomadate

this?

Minako wandered around her room slowly looking at the odd pieces of furniture around and more

importantly a picture on the desk that Rei had occupied. It was a small photo, old yet it seemed to

hold some importance to Rei. The little girl in the picture looked like Rei enough and was that her mother?

Then Minako saw her father, he looked somewhat detached from the picture standing to the side like that,

as if he had nothing to do with them. Rigid and cold was what came to Minako's mind a regular workaholic

she suspected. No wonder Rei was wary of men. Before Minako could take a closer inspection

of the photograph though, Rei's hand came flying to snap the picture down, startling Minako a little.

"Just because you're going to be sleeping in my room and sharing the same space with me. Doesn't

give you the right to be snooping around and looking at my stuff. Have you ever heard of privacy? Or

is that so uncommon for stars today?" Rei asked sharply irritated that Minako had zoned in on the

one thing that held even a remotely sensitive nerve to her.

"Sorry, I thought that if anything was private in your life it'd be carefully hidden away not out

in the open," Minako snapped back irritated enough already.

Before Rei could offer a retort though Artemis chose the time to cough and jump out of the carrier

bag that Minako had stuffed him in. Was Minako always this violent when it came down to doing

things she hated? Artemis stretching slightly eyed Minako as if to tell her to slow down and stop

before she said some things she regret. Sighing Minako dropped her suitcase down near the foot of

Rei's futon and looked round the room.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Minako asked softly.

"Well, I have a sleeping bag, I can manage I've been through worse weather," Rei muttered rubbing

her injured arm. "And don't you refuse the offer Minako. I'm only injured not bed-ridden."

At that Minako just shrugged finding it easy to just go along with what the fiery miko said

and trudged outside to the living room. Artemis followed close by her heels not trusting

himself around this new abode especially with both women so high-strung. Minako wandered

around listlessly looking for some form of entertainment, a tv perhaps, because she needed

something to do to shake the feeling of having eyes on her all around the house. The whole

house smelled like incense and flowers a nice aroma, but sometimes it would cloy sickly

sweet in the air, and whenever she took an inhale the air would stick like paste to her lungs

seeming to constrict all her air passages.

Finally, at what seemed like hours she found a small television pushed to the corner of

the wall, still plugged in but it looked like no one took care of it regularly. What seemed like

a decade of dust sat upon the tv's screen, and Minako carelessly blew all that dust off,

sneezing a little afterwards. Finding the power button and adjusting the tv antennae she turned

it on. At first the sound and sight of static reached Minako, but upon changing the channel

she found herself at a very popular game show, and nowhere in the mood for fun and games.

Sighing, Minako finally took upon the listless joy of what all couch potatoes did, relying on the

repetitive button mashing of "change the channel". Breathing out a whispery sigh Minako

then ended up on the news where her picture was being flashed repeatedly, curiosly

Minako stared at the screen transfixed. The news reporter a woman so to speak

spoke as the seemingly endless jumble of her photographs tumbled across the screen

and filtered out the sound.

_"Here on Juuban News we are now hearing of recent rumors of the messy breakup_

_of Pop Superstar Aino Minako and Kaijou Tanka famous model and actor from Hot_

_Dog Press. Here, live on Juuban News we are working hurriedly to gather information_

_qou to the stars, but now we have confirmation that yes, it is over between the two, and_

_here we have joining us live via telephone is the actor himself Kaijou Tanka." _

Minako's eyes widened briefly as she caught snippets of the report's comments. It was only brief

but Minako had this sick feeling in her gut that Kaijou wasn't going to let it go easily. Minako knew of

the several different ways you could smear your personality but this....if she hadn't been so testy

she would've seen the train wreck coming down upon her. Swallowing hard, Minako immediately tensed

as she hear Kaijou's voice flood through the tv's minute speakers.

------------------

"Hello, Karen."

_"Why hello Mr. Kaijou! Have I ever told you I loved your work in Kokoro no Kinsei? Wel, enough of that_

_I know we'd get answers from you right Mr. Kaijou? You wouldn't leave us out of the loop now would you?_

_Now how was it that you two were going on so seriously and so happy together, what caused the_

_abrupt change?" _

"Well, it wasn't just one thing as you can say. It was a combination of many things that lead us to

break it off. Aino Minako as you may not know is a selfish woman. Trying to help her sort through her

issues is like battling with a lion. She thinks that every man that tries to help her wants to only for her

body, but I am not like all the other men you see, but she couldn't see that. After last night I knew she

was not a virgin."

_GASP"So you are saying that, Aino Minako has had previous encounters with other men _

_before you?" _

"It may as well be that. I only did the act because I thought it was out of love, but after that....

she was fine before the sex I admit, but it was like she was a different person after that. Acting

like after sex she didn't matter or I didn't matter. It was sickening, I couldn't stay with a person like

that. Especially, one who lied about her own virginity. I don't think couples should keep secrets

from each other."

"_Ah, I see, but if it is true she had slept with other men before then that would mean before_

_the age of 19 she was already engaged in that kind of sexual relationship?" _

"It could be....you never know with these idols turned icons. One-night stands, bathroom

interludes, or silent serenades whatever you want to call them, I believe she's had them. I

don't know how she was like before fame turned her mind into something twisted I just

know that I still love her, but not while she's still like this, and that's all I'm going to divulge

for today, thank you for having me Karen."

"_Thank you, for coming to us first Mr. Kaijou....and of course next we have the weather report_

_with Aika Matsumoto, stay tuned!" _

-------------------------

Minako was aware that she was biting her lip until it bleed and she was aware that

her nails had just dug imprints into her palms, but the one thing that she was most aware

of was the burn of humiliation. It wasn't enough that he couldn't take her hating him, but

he had to splatter her reputation just to save his.

Suddenly Minako was aware that she was not alone in staring rigidly at the tv screen

Rei was beside her also transfixed but in a different way. Minako saw a look of fear painted

on Rei's face, a look of disbelief maybe, but mainly it was fear. Snapping back to her sense

though she quickly shut off the tv sick of hearing all the commotion about her private life

already, and by doing that she snapped Rei out of her dazed stupor, but Minako missed

Rei's clenched fists and the look of immediate anger on her face, all she saw was Rei's

turned back.

Minako swore that when Rei did just that the air around them thickened and sparked. Trying

to gauge what was best to do at the moment Minako chose it best to be quiet and let Rei

start the conversation.

Rei didn't know what else to feel a part of felt numb almost to this whole situation telling her

to let it go, because what Minako did with herself didn't make a difference to her, but her heart

was telling her it did matter, and that part of her hurt. Slowly she tried to convery her emotions

out in a question.

"Did you?"

That one question was so soft and full of untangible bitterness cut through Minako like

a knife. It crashed through to her what Rei was asking.

"You actually believe him?"

"I don't know...did you sleep with him?"

"No..." Minako replied trying to get her voice to work again.

"Did you screw him?" Rei asked her voice a monotone.

"...No..."

"Did you fuck him?"

"NO! How could you ask that of me? You know I would never give anything to someone

I didn't love," Minako hissed seeing red in her vision.

"I don't know..." Rei shrugged at this indifferently. "I haven't seen you for 3 years. Things change.

What's so special about you that makes you think you haven't?

Minako was horrified at this. It was okay if Rei didn't believe her in the first place, but it burned

to see Rei having so little faith in her. Opening her mouth and closing it again she forced that bubble

of anger to dissapate.

"Rei, you know me better than that, and don't you dare give me bullshit about how you

"don't care" about what I do and who I am, because you're just denying that you do!"

At this Rei whipped around about to show Minako a taste of her fury but all the

fire in her extinguised as she was met with Minako's dark gaze. She just couldn't

be angry with Minako for long because she would always be reminded of the past,

when she had never wished Minako dead, but by circumstance Minako had withheld

all wishes and had actually died. That alone, could kill whatever Rei had meant to say

to hurt Minako in any way.

"Did......you make love to him?" Rei asked her voice relatively softer now.

"Fucking and making love are two of the same things, Rei," Minako answered tersely at

the end of her rope.

"No, they do not mean the same things...they mean absolutely two different things, but

I guess you wouldn't know of that...you wouldn't know love," Rei spat back her anger

taking it up a notch.

Finally exasperated with Rei, and all of the stress and weight accumalated onto her, Minako

stormed from the room in a fit. She didn't plan to just run out into the streets and just call it quits

she just wanted to be alone, at a far enough distance away from Rei.

As Minako's footsteps died away Rei finally let her shoulders slump and her posture deteriorate

and she pressed her forehead to the palm of her hands in a desperate attempt to calm herself.

Artemis who had been hiding in a corner during all of this found out that he had to meddle

to actually get Minako and Rei to work with each other. Shuffling forward quietly, he prayed

to whoever was up above, to not let Minako know what he was about to say to Rei, because

mentor or not he was going to get the silent treatment if Minako got wind of his open mouth.

"Rei," Artemis called her from his spot on the floor cautiously.

Rei looked over his way and strode over to help him plopping him down onto the table and

kneeling down towards him.

"I know, you don't want to hear this Rei. Especially from me, but being around Minako as long as

I have I know that if you don't open yourself up to Minako she won't open herself up to you," Artemis

whispered fervently.

"Why should I? She's done nothing to stop herself...we don't even need to talk to help each other

out," Rei spat slamming her fists against the table.

"Because, you don't know Minako, Rei. People like Minako, can laugh off the simple disappointments

and upsetting tides, but when the big things come like this, and they find that they can't laugh it off

like they used to do anymore they fall apart Rei," Artemis argued in soft tones.

"People like her make life seem easy," Rei applied bitterly.

"But you're the more stronger one Rei and you know it. You have to do all that you can to help her,

because at this stage she can't smile and laugh all about it anymore. Those kinds of people Rei they're

not as strong as all the others, but you're the right kind of person she needs around now."

Rei slammed her fists onto the table again as she realized the truth in Artemis' words but she

just...she couldn't admit that she was wrong in ragging Minako out, and she had to admit she wasn't

doing her share of the work. Rei had a mind to run after Minako now to apologize somehow

but thinking about it made her wonder how she would do it, and that thought made her dread

coming up to Minako and actually saying the words, "I'm sorry". It seemed impossible to even

muster an apology to Minako's back and she had to do it to her face? Huffing gently Rei turned

towards Artemis a smirk finding it's way on her lips.

"I'm not saying sorry, until she says it also, she's also the one being a brick in the wall

too," Rei retorted getting up swiftly and walking away before Artemis had a chance

to protest.

Artemis' two beady eyes went as wide as dinner plates as he realized that he had

just been brushed off. Sputtering incoherently all that was made out were the words:

"_Idiots..._they're both......._IDIOTS..._"

and thus, Artemis' living hell continued.....


	9. Scar Tissue

**Chapter 9: Scar Tissue **

_"scar tissue that I wish you saw_

_sarcastic mister know it all_

_close your eyes and I'll kiss you_

_cause with the birds I'll share_

_this lonely view_

_push me up against the wall_

_falling over myself just to_

_lick your heart and taste your health." _

Rei kneeled silently over the ground, patiently throwing crumbs

at Phobos and Deimos, content to just sit there and watch them peck

and pick at their food. Rei had thought up of a gajillion ways to approach

Minako, but she had no idea how she was going to initiate it all. Thrumming

her fingers gently on her cheek she let out a breath in a huff her full lips

turned down into a pout.

"Baka, you don't need to think so much, it's just Minako," Rei muttered to

herself standing up and stretching out her aching legs.

Yeah, it was just Minako for kami's sake, and with a little skip in her step

now she walked over to the room that Minako's aura emanneted the most from,

and without thinking she slid open her bedroom door astonished and dumbfounded

at what she found. Minako had just slipped out of her clothes and was nearly naked

except for her panties and bra which she had been overtly trying to unclasp and

slide out of.

"GAH!" was all Rei could say as her eyes widened, and her mouth formed a little

jerky oval, and a cute little squeaky sound could be heard coming forth.

Minako was the exact opposite of Rei she seemed cool and collected as if she

had rehearsed this many times over, and that it was nothing new. The only thing

to remind Rei that Minako had been caught off-guard by her entry was the darkening

color of Minako's eyes. Flustere, Rei did not know what to say or do at the time being,

but that was easily remedied by Minako's sharp voice.

"Well....are you going to close the door or just stand there gawking?"

Snapped back to life Rei bustled to close the door on the breeze that threatened

to flow through the room and chill Minako. Working hurriedly, Minako slipped into

her black sweatpants and white abercombie t-shirt, as Rei took now the time to glance

at Minako trying hard to not look like she was looking. She noticed that on Minako's

back underneath her right shoulderblade there was a scar, it was only a shade darker

than Minako's tanned skin, but the outline could still be seen. Rei could even make

out it's shape as her eyes traced the scar to form the picture of a spade. Rei

remembered that in a deck of cards the spade was the lowest, so why did

Minako have that scar on her back? It wasn't a tattoo was it?

"It's not a tattoo," Minako called out to her before slipping on her t-shirt as if

she could somehow read Rei's thoughts.

"Oh....you know....you could've asked me where the bathroom was," Rei murmured

crossing her arms as if she was still mad.

"With you in that mood? Yeah, you sure would've told me. You would've probably directed

me to the nearest cliff and had me run off of it for all I know," Minako scoffed gently as she

patted her t-shirt free of the wrinkles.

Sighing, Rei admonished her firm pose and took a more relaxed, albeit more weary looking

but it was a change in her vigourous pace, and because of her injury she was tiring a lot

more easily. Rubbing the palm of her hand against the ivory soft skin of her cheek she licked

her lips and started to wonder if uncomfortable silences were all that she could muster.

"How'd you get that scar?" Rei asked suddenly.

Minako turned her head to look at Rei a flash of uncertainty in her eyes and maybe

one of....embarassment? Rei was sure it was. When Minako answered her, her voice

quivered a little as if this was a touchy subject, which escaped Rei why Minako would

think having a scar degraded your beauty or something.

"It's a scar I got when I was Sailor V. When I....was still an amateur at taking care

of Youmas and...petty thieves. Someone gave me this scar....it's ugly but I look at it everyday

to assure myself that I am still here," Minako replied a nostalgic look crossing her face

when the fingers of her hand traced the scar absentmindedly.

Rei bit her tongue slowly as she watched the little moment of melancholy seem to

soften Minako's visage and show another side of her that Rei had never often seen,

but could easily identify. Minako looked vulnerable in that one moment with her glossed

delicate cupid like-cherry lips parted, so that Rei could somehow feel the little breaths

that Minako was taking.

"Er....it's like an exotic beauty mark really," Rei stuttered out her heartbeat coming

forth loud in her ears.

At that, Minako looked up her eyes seeming to light up at that comment with undisguised

mirth, and her lips squeezed together again in a small smile, and Rei noticed the crick that formed

at the corner of Minako's cheeks whenever she seemed to smile, and that same exact moment

giggles seemed to erupt from Minako's form. Shoulders shaking slightly from trying to hold in

her laughter Minako let go her breezy laugh a welcome mood into the room.

"W-what!?! Haven't you ever heard of those before? Marilyn Monroe had one too, you know

that mole above her lip! D-don't think you're so special with your scar and all a lot of young idols

have them and they're using it to their advantage!" Rei snapped losing all her ability to do spin-control.

Minako stopped in mid-laugh and actually looked at Rei as if she was seeing her for the

first time. A look of utter amazement seemed to dawn across Minako's face, and if Minako

had known any better, she would've known that she had just fallen in love, in that one

moment where Rei had in all her blunt honesty told her that her scar was a mark of beauty,

but Minako was still in the pits of denial and innocent cluelessness as she smiled

softly at Rei.

Rei in her turn, turned a shade of pink as she bit her lip, and clenched her fists unconsciously.

She wanted to shrink to the floor blurting out something insane like that, what was she thinking!?!

How lame.....it made Rei want to just up and go and tell her own self to go and get a life. Rei had

never really liked those damn romantic movies, and soap operas with their corny love triangles

and pornbait femme fatales. So why, why did she just make the one most cheesiest comment

to a person that she still was wary about!?! Frustrated Rei sought out to do some damage control,

but not before Minako reached up and gently put her hand whisper soft against Rei's cheek. Rei

felt the pull again, that odd urge to just lean her head into the palm of Minako's skin, because Rei

would've guessed that it would feel good being against that soft skin, but Rei wasn't the one to

just act solely on her wants.

"Thank you," Minako uttered and moved her hand away leaving Rei's cheeks relatively

colder.

Fighting back the urge to blush again Rei turned her head to the side to try to avoid

that awful amused look in Minako's eyes, almost as if Minako was baiting her with her eyes.

"Well...don't get used to it, tomorrow you start on your new diet," Rei muttered gruffly

bristling up again. "I'm going to go get some....fresh air and alone time."

and with that Rei turned her back on Minako again but this time Minako had a wistful

expression on her face as if she had just stumbled upon a memory that she had no idea

that she had...looking back on it with a sincere fondness...

----------------

_"Aw, hey little girl.....hey...HEY! Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?" _

_**"No...it's just that...I hate my scar, it's ugly...." **_

_"Aw it can't be that bad let me take a look at it, what happened?" _

_**"......someone hurt me....." **_

_"Now really? What a low-life picking on some kid. He didn't touch you or anything_

_did he?" _

**"_No........I took care of him........."_**

_"Tch....now what are you so worried about this little scar just below your back for? It's_

_hardly noticeable!" _

_**"it's going to be ugly when the person I love sees me...."**_

_**"**Aw naw....if anything else they should see it as an exotic beauty mark!" _

_**"that's cheesy..."**_

_"that's some pretty calculating and critical words coming from a young girl like you...if _

_I didn't know better I'd swear you're around your 50's all bunched up and old like, with nothing_

_left but cynicism and worst of all with the most unrespectful take on love. Now, the way I see_

_it is, if they loved you they'd think you were the most beautiful and prettiest thing on _

_the face of this here earth, and there'd be no question about it." _

_**"but couldn't they pick some better line? I mean...it's really corny if you think**_

_**about it..."**_

_"What are you expecting, Prince charming? I tell you now, and I only tell you this once_

_there is no such thing as a Prince Charming. There's always gonna be the little things_

_that annoy you about the one you love, but hey if love can move mountains and all_

_that shit, pardon my french, it can ignore the fact that the person you care for_

_the most is less than perfect.." _

_**"I guess so...." **_

_"Now don't be all disappointed on me. I wasn't saying that they'll love you less since_

_they lack some things, but if they really love you, they'll fall over themselves to tell_

_you they do. They may be the most worst person to share their feelings and open_

_up to you, but that's love and love knows no words. Hehe, touche I think. Flawed is_

_the new beautiful..." _

_**"....you're just some man I met on the street you know...you don't know anything**_

_**about me anymore than you know why night and day appear." **_

_"yeah I guess so, I guess I'm just some hopeless romantic rambling onto another_

_non-believer, damn I miss the good old days when an image of love couldn't be _

_put on a magazine or a movie...ah....get on home..." _

_**"I believe.....but I know I'll always be alone..." **_

_"Now why you say that?" _

_**"...because it's what I choose..." **_

-------------

Makoto wearily refolded her napkin again weakly, as she waited for

the food she ordered to deliver itself momentarily, as Usagi seemed intent

to just stare at her hard without blinking. Makoto felt like she was under some

kinda of scrutiny or something like Usagi was trying to calculate when Makoto

would explode. Scatching her chin thoughtfully she cooed softly at Haru, and

he gurgled back at her waving his tiny little arms and legs in the air, almost

as if he was running in the air trying to catch up to Makoto's lilting voice. Yes,

he did have Motoki's kind nature, that she was sure of.

Mamoru himself was pressingly quiet, he seemed to have something to

say, but he held himself back probably with Usagi near. Makoto wondered

when things had changed so methodically, to everyone treating her as if she

was as fragile and pristine as glass, as if just a mention of the word death

would bring her to the verge of depression. It had gotten her down a lot of the

few times in the past week, but she had a goal now to provide a future for her

son, and anything else not concerning him was quickly shoved to the side.

Sure, she still felt the residue of all the damage that hit her when she had

found out that Motoki would not grow old with her as they had promised, but

she knew that one day all of it would be scar tissue, she'd no longer feel it

as painful but it would always be there, sometimes things were not meant

to be forgotten.

"So....how's ChibiUsa?" Makoto asked hesitantly as she was not sure

of how to start up the conversation.

"Oh she's doing fine! We have a babysitter for her, which brings me to

the question...do you want to maybe babysit ChibiUsa sometime? Like when

you're not busy of course! I'd never wish to impend on your or anything, but

you know money problems are scarce..." Usagi floored her words out barely

stopping for a breath until she turned red.

"Uh....of course...I would love to babysit ChibiUsa, Usagi. Haru won't have to

play by himself anymore," Makoto accepted graciously with a laugh.

"Okay! Then it's settled, finally Mamoru and I won't have to waste money

paying for a baybsitter when we need to go get some alone time, right?" Usagi

breathed flashing a smile over at Mamoru who seemed to let it blow over him.

"Yeah...whatever...just try not to trouble yourself too much with it, okay Makoto?"

Mamoru added casually as he stirred his morning cup of coffee.

"WHAT!? What's to be troubled about? She said it would be fine stop worrying!"

Usagi chided cuffing Mamoru lightly on the shoulder.

Mamoru in reply just sighed as his displeased look grew longer, and soon he just

ignored all of Usagi's banter, as he sipped his coffee sometimes glancing from it to stare

at Makoto. Makoto herself pretended not to notice since he was trying so hard to not

be caught staring.

Soon Usagi's colorful banter stopped as their food arrived steaming and hot

on their plates, and Makoto gratefully dug in as Haru seemed content to just giggle,

and point at the various colorful objects displayed in the restaurant window. Makoto

talked about a wide variety of things, careful to sidestep around the issue of Motoki,

since she knew Usagi hated to talk about things like death and illnesses. She found it

weird, for her to be trying to protect Usagi from pain, when she was the one who was

feeling the blunt of it. Mamoru himself, stayed quiet and only replied in either grunts, or

the more agitated "hai's" that they were less than used to coming from him. Soon

conversation dwindled down to how much cooking Makoto had actually made for

baby Haru, and if any one of the food items could actually be digested by a baby,

at all. At the mention of food however, Usagi's face lit spontaneously up, and she

jumped to her feet.

"OH! I just remember Mako-chan, I ordered a huge sweet flan cake for you, and

I have to go pick it up right now, but don't worry you still have Mamoru to talk to kay?

JA!" Usagi talked rapidly as she grabbed her purse and sped out of the restaurant

hurriedly ocassionaly tripping on her own foot.

Makoto missed Usagi's presence because now all that filled was an uncomfortable

silence. Makoto did not know how to approach Mamoru because he was looking at her

intently.

"You don't have to take up Usagi's offer to baby-sit if you don't want to Makoto. I

know how you feel, losing the one you love, I've lost people I loved before, and I know

you want to be alone," Mamoru brought up suddenly, as Makoto had just started to think

in her head, that she would've run around the whole Juuban district naked, then sit here

and twiddle her thumbs before Mamoru.

Makoto was surprised that Mamoru had doubted her good intentions to actually

take care of ChibiUsa, but in Mamoru's place she could understand, but her way of

handling pain was so much different than Mamoru's way. Clearing her throat she

proceeded to explain to Mamoru where her priorities and heart lay.

"Mamoru, without Usagi or her goodness of heart, I would be alone at home with

Haru with nothing to keep my loneliness at bay, but the shadows that play on my wall.

When I said, I'd take care of ChibiUsa I must admit it was for my own selfish reasons.

ChibiUsa helps me get through the day actually, when I have to spend the day

worrying about someone else, it helps me Mamoru. It helps, because being around

a soul that can't understand the words that I say, but still gives me the feeling

that they're actually listening, it gives me peace. Do you understand?"

Mamoru seemed a bit put-off by this but he accepted it nonetheless even

smiling a little at Makoto's answer. He was impressed actually any lesser soul

would've fallen apart under the pressure, but Makoto Kino was no normal woman.

In her, was still the person she had learned to be, and always would be even

after all this time she still had her sense of self...the soul of Jupiter still lived

through Makoto, and her poker face in times like these when all she could

ever want to do would be to seek help in the comfort of a human being

she remained strong.

"You're....a very strong woman Makoto. Much stronger than I would've

guessed or thought you'd be, and I'm sorry I second guessed your decision.

I should've known that it's what you want," Mamoru apologized embarassed.

"That's all right Mamoru many men would've been offended that I _didn't_ cry,"

Makoto said shaking her head gently all the while smiling.

Mamoru sheepishly rubbed his head but he let it go nonetheless, and slowly

smiled when Usagi came trolloping back with a huge flan cake in one hand, and

about 3 forks carried in the other, chuckling Makoto remembered that she always

had a sweet tooth for cakes. As Usagi lay the cake down Makoto graciously removed

the plastic covering and dug in gratefully remembering to spoon some flan cake out

for Haru also. Haru seemed to have a taste for flan, also because upon the spoon

entering his mouth he squeled happily, and clutched onto the spoon greedily.

Everybody laughed at that, and it was a welcome kind of noise, one that you

rarely hear uttered, and it makes the moment more solid and surreal. Giggling softly

again Makoto found it hard to figure out why just a flan cake would elicit such a

reaction from hard grown adults...what it was, was beyond her, but the smile on

her face only widened as she knew that she didn't need an answer...this was

good enough just to be able to sit here, and enjoy your friend's company, and laugh

even though you didn't want to...they were laughing for no utter reason, they were

laughing to forget.


	10. The Crowing

**Chapter 10: The Crowing**

_"did you ever really know _

_before my face shamed to break_

_did you ever really know _

_before my mind was scared to think_

_did you ever really know _

_before my name sung to these_

_did you come clean in the end from the start?_

_I will call you out from shelter_

_and burn your wings and you'll know no better." _

Rei looked hard at the blender which held the fruit of her labor, in

picking all the ingredients carefully from her fridge, to actually looking

up it's nutritional value, but still she could not deny the fact that she had the use

of only one of her arms. Cursing her injury incoherently Rei contemplated

just using a fork and a cup and mashing the ingredients in there manually, but

that would take too much time to do and everything would come out chunky,

and not very edible-looking, as if blending all this crap could make it look more

attracting to the eye. To herself, Rei prayed that she would never have to drink

this mixture _ever_. Supressing a small smirk at the thought of Minako digesting this

drink she picked up the lid to the blender and tried to imagine to Minako gulping all

of this blend of vegetables, protein, and eggs all in one huge gulp. Just the thought

of it seemed to make Rei want to do a little jig in the small corner of the room to

herself.

Setting the lid slowly on the blender Rei grunted at this dilemma, if she didn't hurry

Minako would soon be up awake and around the house, and when she sees what

was actually in this drink she would never dare to drink it. Slowly setting her chin up

on the blender Rei stood on a tippy toe using her chin to hold the lid on the blender

down as her right hand punched the button and sure enough the miscellenous food

items started getting grainy and mushy. She felt like her chin was set on some jackhammer

as it vibrated and she lost her footing, and some of the juice from the blender splattered

onto the white fabric of her dogi.

"SHIT! YOU LITTLE-----" Rei paused in mid-curse as she heard the familiar nimble

footsteps approaching, judging by her footsteps Rei could tell that Minako was wearing socks.

Minako's sleepy head poked it's way from the doorway as she seemed to

protest the brushing of hair at 1:00 in the afternoon. Moving her disheveled head

from side to side she scanned the room curiously as she took in Rei's ruined Miko

outfit and the chunks of what looked like slop all over Rei's chin. Edging into the

room to get out of the sunlight filtering in through the windows Minako rubbed her

eyes and yawned out a "hello".

"Nice...I get to see a side of you that no one else can. You'll never hear the end of this

Minako," Rei jeered.

"Hmm...that's okay because I get to tell everybody that I saw Hino Rei eating generically

and sloppily with slop that doesn't even deserve to be called food," Minako murmured back

gently dragging her index finger slowly over Rei's chin taking the leftoever goop from it.

Sticking her index finger in her mouth Minako felt the slimy contents enter into her mouth,

and waited for the flavor to erupt, but it was tasteless, and blander than any oatmeal she

had ever eaten before. Retching a little at the mixture Minako coughed as her finger flew

quickly out of her mouth leaving a trail of spittle across her chin. Wiping her mouth on her

pajama sleeve Minako grimaced as she stared at how she was dressed at this time of the day,

with just her pajamas on, the ones with cherry's imprinted all over, the press would've

had a field day if these ever got out. Wiggling her eyebrows disapprovingly Minako

eyed Rei dangerously.

"We _are not_ eating this for breakfast," Minako spoke softly but her tone held a lethal

edge to it. "I'd rather go for the chow mein I ate last month that gave me diarhea then

eat this crap."

"Hey watch your language and don't wish for things you don't really mean, _and_ who

said _we _were gonna eat this? _YOU_ are gonna eat this and I'm going to have my breakfast

er....lunch with porridge," Rei corrected Minako gleefully loving every moment as she saw

Minako's face switch from anticipation, to confusion, and then to one of horror.

Minako felt the heat rush back up to her face if only she had known what breaking

from her usual routine would be this hard....she wasn't going to back down, but if she

had been in the privacy of her own abode at the time with Rei's instructions on what she

was to eat, ringing through the telephone speakers she would've stomped her foot

uncharacteristically in annoyance. Biting her lip, Minako pleaded to Rei with her eyes,

but Rei just turned her head away and poured out the slop in a little sippy cup for Minako

to drink from.

They eyeballed each other for a long time before Minako walked over to the sippy cup

and gently sniffed the drink again...

"Tell me, what is this called? I thought when you said you were going to help me that I

was actually going to be able to eat real food again," Minako commented sarcastically.

"It's a protein shake, or at least that's what they say it is, it's supposed to be the quickest

way to get you your nutrients, and right now you need more meat on your bones, not get

fat," Rei replied equal sarcasm dripping from her voice.

Minako wrinkled her nose at that but she drank it nonetheless groaning as she felt the

slimy fluid go down her throat quickly. Eyes watering, Minako set the cup triumphantly down

as her tongue seemed to burn from the unnoticeable after taste of the protein shake, and

somehow in all of that Minako had tasted egg. Ew, was all that was repated in Minako's head

as she repeated to herself why she was doing this.

"Get changed we're going to go shopping," Rei grunted as she spooned out some leftoever

porridge instead and gruelingly drank it.

"Why?" Minako asked.

"We're going to buy the things you need to break the habit. Like it or not my shrine doesn't have

everything," Rei replied rolling her eyes.

"Don't do that, you know your eyes will get stuck like that if you keep on doing that," Minako

replied disgruntled.

"PSSH," Rei responded as she spooned the last of her porridge.

Minako in turn flipped her head away as she begrudgingly trudged to Rei's room to get her clothes,

and Artemis who was currently snoozing at the foot of Rei's bed, the same bed which had kept Minako

warm in the night. Searching for her comb Minako gently pushed the comb through her hair and smiled

secretively to herself, even if she did have to drink the ridiculous drinks that Rei made, it still felt good

being taken care of...

---------------

"I tell you Mamoru it's a good way to get us all together and repair some damage and

stitch together relationships, and plus we could get Ami and Makoto to make up," Usagi

pleaded over and over again as Mamoru walked ahead of her in the supermarket clearly

annoyed.

"Usagi not everyone wants to makeup and be friends after something terrible happens,

just leave them alone and things will work itself out on its own," Mamoru sighed as he

wheeled ChibiUsa gingerly through the sunday mill of people at the market with their

groceries.

At that, Usagi stomped her foot angrily as she ran to catch up to Mamoru.

"You! It's always "ignore and it'll go away" or "oh...just leave it alone it'll fix itself"...

sometimes things don't work like that Mamoru! Sometimes people need to be pushed

to act," Usagi mocked Mamoru's way of speaking and his nonchalance in dealing

with hardships.

"Hey, that's how I grew up and handled things," Mamoru protested picking up an

orange and squeezing it a little testing the firmness.

"Well, Mamoru thing's don't always work that way! If we don't get them together

they'll never talk to each other again, not because they hate each other, because

there will be an even bigger rift inbetween them made by time! I know this Mamoru

trust me," Usagi pleaded jumping up and down impatiently.

Mamoru never knew how or why he let himself be dragged into his wife's many

schemes, but he knew all of them never ended well.

"Fine...how do you know it'll work?" Mamoru relented tired of the constant bickering

he was getting for this.

"I know it'll work because I did the same thing to get you to propose to me," Usagi said

teasingly as she pecked Mamoru's cheek playfully and ran away down the aisle of vegetables.

"USAGI!" Mamoru exclaimed surprised and a little hurt that she would use that method against

him but he shook his head anyway and stared down at his daughter.

"Now, don't you take after your mother," Mamoru warned ChibiUsa playfully but with a hint

of seriousness in his voice.

ChibiUsa in turn just looked up at him innocently and gurgled happily.

--------------

Walking into the market for Minako was what walking into a butchershop was to a cow.

With her head lowered and a baseball cap over her head Minako chose the time to don on

her dark shades, as she walked with smooth ease through the crowd, carefully avoiding

not to meet the curious glances thrown at her. Rei felt embarassed somewhat to be standing

and walking next to this person who had to wear a cap and shades indoors for fear of

being seen.

_"she can't help it Hino, curb your damn sarcasm....she's only doing this for you because _

_she knows you're injured and wouldn't like a commotion," _Rei repeated to herself as she looked

at the cabbages, while Minako hung around her like a shadow, and the only thing that reminded

Rei that she was even there was the seperate small touches to her arm when Minako felt like

she was losing Rei in the crowd.

Still, the fact that she felt like she was talking to a ghost, all while wondering at which

kind of meat to pick, stoked her fire. Poking Minako in the ribs to get her attention Minako

looked up quizzically, or what Rei thought as Minako looking at her quizzically, because

of the sheer darkness of the shades she couldn't tell.

"You know I feel like I should've gone here alone, since this is being such a

bother to you," Rei professed trying hard not to sound angry or cranky even

though she was irked.

"You don't want me to come along with you is that it?" Minako asked, a touch

of disdain in her voice as she raised one elegant eyebrow.

"No...it's just I don't like to see you when you have to dress up like this just to

do something as simple as grocery shopping, what happens when you want to

have fun?" Rei retorted, crushing the small peas she had held in her hand out

of frustration.

Minako just shrugged it off, smiling lightly before she lowered the bill of her cap

when a group of teengars came by happily gossiping to each other. Rei heard the

hush of voices when they passed by Minako, and held her breath praying that they

wouldn't notice Minako's graceful features, and the way she held herself, she hoped

they wouldn't give Minako away.

Really, Rei liked it when she saw Minako doing normal average things, like just

ordering take-out or lounging around the house, or just getting out of bed at 1:00 pm in

the afternoon with bed hair. That's what Rei liked to see in Minako, but it wasn't like

she encouraged the laziness, but there was...just something so real and believable

about Minako and her tendency to mumble in her sleep, and her way of sleeping on

her front so that she was sprawled across the bed.

At the thought of Minako last night waking her up suddenly by just mumbling or

...actually shouting out that "I didn't step on the bannana" made Rei giggle and laugh.

Which brought another quizzical expression from Minako. Smirking Rei took Minako

by the hand and led her to the meat aisle all the while very aware of the press of flesh

against flesh. Minako's hand was warm and soft as Rei had imagined it...WAIT_...Imagined_?

When had she ever imagined what touching Minako would be like? When had she in the first

day of living with Minako and bickering about Minako, when had she ever tried to imagine the

feel of her skin? Rei shook her head at this. She was going crazy and it was all on account

to her apocalyptic dreams but she never had them last night...

Suddenly feeling a tug Rei turned around worried that someone had caught Minako, but

Minako was standing there smiling pleasantly.

"You know for an invalid you sure do walk fast," Minako murmured.

"Well for a world known superstar you sure are slow and out of shape," Rei shot back.

Minako smirked back at Rei for that comment and slipped her hand away from Rei's to

reach over and order a pig's rib for cutting. Rei rubbed her neck slowly, and sighed as

she caught up with Minako and watched how casual Minako seemed in a crowd of

people, as if fame hadn't changed her at all. Fame had changed her physical qualities

of course but it wasn't that she was the same, yet different at the same time. She walked

to politely, too cautiously as if one small mistep would make the ground fall beneath her feet,

the Minako from before had long sure strides, full of power and pride. It made Rei feel as if

she was living with a stranger for some reason instead of some long ago friend that she

had been reunited with.

They were no longer senshis, no more missions, no more yelling and competing

against each other out of spite for the other's beliefs about the past life and the

present life. Minako had accused her of not caring about the past and Rei had

accused her of not caring for the present which was the most important thing. In a

way they had paid all that they owed to each other already, Rei had gone on with

her senshi duty and Minako had lived life like it was her last...and in a way it was,

and now Rei was helping Minako break free of her habit and Minako had gave Rei

back her home...her shrine, but somehow that felt empty like a hollow victory, as if

something was still owed between them. Thinking about the past life, Rei wondered

that maybe they still owed each other really from the past life, and that's why their

paths had crossed yet again.

Fidgeting with her yellow yukata over her black t-shirt she waited patiently for the meat

to be prepared all the while fighting the urge to look at Minako. Before she even had time

to move though her back was met with a huge slap and the wind was definetely knocked

from her. Coughing slightly Rei whipped around and glared at Minako who seemed to have

an impish smile on her face.

"Cheer up you look like death warmed over even in that cute yukata," Minako teased

good naturedly.

Rei just jutted her bottom lip at Minako, and growled ferally as she grabbed the meat

that was being offered from over the counter, and stomped away not really angry but

just wanting it for the show. It didn't take long for her pace to slow down however and

she waited as Minako slowly walked over to her. Scoffing at Minako's slow cat-walk Rei

was prepared to say some snide remark at Minako but then a voice rang out in the dairy

aisle louder than a bullhorn.

"Oh my god! Minako! Rei! It's Usagi! I can't believe you're in a supermarket Minako what if

someone sees you!?"

Minako and Rei collectively groaned at the same time as the whole of the supermarket

went quiet and the first one out of the high school groupies screamed out "AINO MINAKO!"

"Shit..." Rei muttered to herself as a whole swarm of people started surrounding them.

This was the only time Rei had ever felt that her safety was at stake in a supermarket,

especially someone else's safety, as Rei grabbed Minako by the arm and started tugging her

across the aisle. Rei winced repeatedly as she had to elbow the masses away with her injured

arm in a sling. She didn't trust Minako to just follow her back one, could get lost in the crowd

like that, and she didn't want to think of what would happen if she lost Minako here in a crowd of

people screaming out her name. Rei tore through that crowd as fast as she could without injuring

anything else but at this rate she was tiring quickly.

Minako felt as if she was being ripped one way and another, as she tried hard to keep up with

Rei's pace keeping an eye on Rei's injured arm, as she seemed to be using it repeatedly as a

weapon. Somebody was tugging on the waist of her jeans, and her cap in the chaos had fallen

off her head and onto the dirty floor, Minako did not waste time in trying to pick it up. Minako felt

displeased and irritated as something hit her face...really warm flesh it seemed on the side of

her head, and that really irritating warm hand(or appendage) on her face swiped off quickly

taking Minako's shades permanently with it. Biting her lip from anger and more or less holding

in her curses and temper since she was in public she squeezed Rei's hand tighter as she was

led to the exit.

Rei cursed her injury, her meddlesome ways, and mostly she cursed herself for thinking that

it was okay to take Minako Aino world-renown singer to a Supermarket for goodness sakes. She

should've known, but she didn't, she was always aware that too much celebrity status could cause

a riot or worse a mob but she didn't know that she'd actually be in the middle of one. Rei blindly fought

for a way but stopped dead when she felt a hand clamp down on her shoulder and tug fiercely.

"HEY! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Rei snarled agressively as she felt Minako

being tugged along with her.

"No time to talk!" the figure who had been holding Rei said.

"Mamoru?" Rei said in disbelief.

Out of nowhere swam the face of Mamoru out of the crowd and he smiled but the smile disappeared

as someone's elbow seemed to hit him on the head and he dashed with Rei and Minako in tow.

"Wait where's Usagi?" Rei asked frantically as her feet carried her as far as they could away from

the fans.

"Outside in the car," Mamoru answered as they rushed out the shopping mall and into the red

minivan that Usagi was currenlty waving desperately in.

Rei threw herself into the back seat as Minako did the same equally breathless and weary.

Mamoru himself jumped in the passengerseat of the minivan and helped put the carseat buckle

around ChibiUsa. Usagi gunned on the accelerator and with a satisfying crunch of gravel they

were off.

Rei's fingers were clammy and shaking from her ordeal, as she knew that her lipstick had definetely

smeared, and that her clothes were all slightly askew. Running a hand through her hair she grunted

in pain as her left arm now felt like lead weights and the injury _throbbed_. Rei slowly squeezed the

protesting appendage and only managed to send little pinpricks of pain up and down her spine.

"Are you all right?" Minako asked as she had been quiet so far.

"Yeah...it's no biggie....what about you? You look worse than I do," Rei said trying her best to be

nonchalant as if her arm wasn't killing her.

It was really hard to smile and grimace at the same time, Rei learned. Minako did look worse for the wear,

as she had a bruise on the bottom of her cheek, and another bruise on her collarbone turning purple and

dark over the period of time it took to drive away, but despite that Minako looked as cool and collected as

she always did, never betraying the heightened anxiety she felt.

"It's nothing. I'm used to it after all," Minako answered shortly as she reached for Rei's injured arm.

Rei moved her arm away ferociously so that she could feel the tendon in her arm seem to snap

and break.

"Don't ever say that! You know you've never seen anything like that before, and you didn't have

any bodyguards this time either. All of your interviews you were always a far distance away from

the center of the crowd. I never should've asked for you to come," Rei snapped bitterly as she

grounded her feet against the carpetting of the minivan. "How can fame be so toxic?"

Minako just stared at her after Rei had felt that she literally poured out all her worry over.

Minako of course didn't even blink at that but grabbed Rei's arm forcefully looked it. Rei bit her

lip against the pain. Minako studied the arm carefully as she removed it from the sling nimbly but

gently pushing down on select spots, as she did that Rei just buried her head in her seat back and

dealt with the pain.

"It's swelling...you shouldn't have used this arm at all," Minako said after a moment's silence.

"Well I did it because there was no other way," Rei replied angrily, removing her face from the

seatback.

"You should've let go of me," Minako replied coldly.

"Nothing in the nine hell's would've made me let go of you, Minako. I'm not going to

just let go of you and watch as you're being fed to the piranhas," Rei retorted her

legendery temper taking a flare.

"You should have anyway, why didn't you? I could've caught up with you outside."

"Dammit...don't act like you were just going to walk out there unscathed! I care about

you too much to be that damn naive!" Rei exclaimed slamming her right fist into the window

of the minivan.

"Then don't care about me! Everything was going fine in my life until you started caring!"

"...ARGHHH..." Rei could've screamed at that one moment at the palpability of it all.

After all these years Minako still couldn't accept her help, and didn't want to because

Minako still saw herself somewhat of a leader to all of them, the one to give away everything

for everyone. Rei wanted to shake her and hug her at the same time...she wanted to choke

her and kiss her lively cheeks at the same damn time...Minako had this way of making her

feel two different emotions at once, which frustrated and pleased her at the same time.

"Will you guys stop bickering? You're going to upset ChibiUsa, argue when we get you

home and away from the crowd!" Mamoru stopped the quarrel before things got too heated

and they ended up bitting each other's heads off.

They both did quiet down as they both sidled into their respective seats and refused to

look at each other, and with the smoldering of their tempers came Usagi's nervousness,

and to lighten the mood Usagi tried telling them of her plan for a whole get together at some

mall to try to get Makoto and Ami to make-up, it seemed like her whole coordinated

scheme was falling on deaf ears as none refused to answer.

"WELL?" Usagi asked enunciating her word not giving up.

"We'll come..." Rei uttered finally as Minako chose this very time to close her eyes

and shut out all noise from the inside.

"Together?" Usagi asked nervously as she was skeptic in thinking that Rei and

Minako could work out their quarrels that easily.

"Yeah," Rei huffed making it a note in her mind to stop being angry the day before their get

together.

"We'll need to pick a secluded spot though Usagi...Minako," Mamoru didn't even bother to

finish his sentence but let it sink in.

"Oh..." Usagi's voice faltered at that the sound of her fail-proof scheme hitting a snag.

"I'll make reservations at a restaurant," Minako mumbled irately but she still was willing to do

whatever for Makoto to feel better. "There'll be extra security it'll be safe....but uncomfortable

at the least."

"That's all right, better safe than not," Mamoru replied as he eyed Minako in the rearview mirror.

Soon the minivan pulled over to the Hikawa Shrine and the two passengers stepped out weary

and exhausted, and tried beyond their last nerve. Mamoru watched as the two women trudged their

way up the steps, both seeming firm in their position to not talk to each other or even have contact

with each other, as they decided to walk up the steps seperate and alone without leaning on each

other for support, which would've made walking up the steps easier...and much more painless.

He watched all this with a critical eye disbelief showing in his features at how they could both be

so stubborn with each other and yet care enough to protect each other.

"They'll be okay," Usagi reassured Mamoru as she saw the look on his face.

Mamoru looked over at her and shrugged still skeptical but he accepted it as it was.

"Of course they will...it's Minako and Rei after all, Mamoru. No matter how harsh the words

they may throw at each other it doesn't disguise the fact that they care so much that they hurt

each other and their selves with the words they should be saying and the words that they

_are_ saying."


	11. God of Wine

**Chapter 11: God of Wine**

"_She takes a drink and then she waits_

_the alcohol it permeates and soon the cells give way_

_and cancels out the day, I can't keep it all together, I know._

_And the siren's song that is your madness _

_holds a truth that I can't erase all alone on your face._

_Every glamorous sunrise throws the planets out of line_

_a star sign out of whack, a fradulent zodiac,_

_and the god of wine is crouched down in my room_

_you let me down, I said it, now I'm going down,_

_and you're not even around, and I said no...._

_and there's a memory of a window, _

_looking through I see you,_

_searching for something I could never give you..." _

They had gotten through the whole day without even sparing a glance at each

other, from the time they had both stomped into the house and fired bullets at each

other with their eyes, and after Artemis had practically whined out a "dear god"

they had been ignoring each other's existence.

Now it was time for bed, they had been pacing around till midnight wishing that

the other would just give up already and hit the sack, and with each of their silent

tantrums gone ignored, their tempers began to steam. Almost throwing herself onto

her sleeping bag in the middle of the floor and giving the bag a ferocious yank Rei

closed her eyes shut tight and tried to get to sleep all the while ignoring Minako's

indignant shuffling.

Rei hoped that Minako wouldn't bug her about this in the morning that maybe in the

morning they could just go back to the way things were....without having to gloss over

the events of today. It always worked out like that, with things being left unsaid

between them, but they left it at that with loose ends, because none of them would

bring up the subject. Rei thought their method was so much easier than talking it out

....so much easier...than talking beyond midnight until the sun rose eating everything

that wasn't nailed down.....Rei shook her head petulantly under the covers as the

thought of talking beyond midnight seemed to appeal to her. NO! Ignoring it would make

things go away....and with that she turned her head the other way and surrendered

herself to sleep...

-------------------

"AH!...aaaa.....MINAKO! It.....hurts! F-fire..."

Minako at first, tried to ignore Rei's slight whimpers and her constant thrashing,

but when Rei's convulsions started getting violent, that's when Minako started to

worry. Throwing off the blankets that covered her body, Minako strode over to

where Rei lay thrashing around like she was bound by ropes, or on the verge of

a seizure. If she continued like this any longer her arm was bound to swell some

more and she'd cause more injury to herself. Taking a hold of Rei's injured arm so

that Rei wouldn't lean on it unconsciously Minako shook her softly.

"Rei....REI! It's just a bad dream, wake up," Minako spoke softly jostling the more

fiery woman.

When Minako's voice seemed to finally get through to Rei, Rei's hand shot up and

grasped onto Minako's shoulder squeezing it painfully against her fingers. Almost as if

she was afraid to open her eyes, one of Rei's eyes creeped open cautiously before she

opened the other, and relief seemed to swim through her face as she saw who was

next to her. Then almost as if she had been burned, Rei snapped her hand away and

quickly turned her head the other way, almost embarassed at her show of weakness.

"What's wrong? You started calling out my name while you were still dreaming," Minako

asked tracing idle pattens in the palm of her left hand.

"......it was nothing," Rei had paused just briefly before she answered, as if debating

whether to tell Minako or not about her dream about the daisy field, and Minako's fading

form.

Minako frowned at that glaring at Rei surrepriously.

"You know Hino Rei that it wasn't nothing," Minako shot back her anger returning.

"Okay! Fine! So what if it was something? It's none of your business anyway...you

would'nt know what it's like. Having such a power that you can't control or can't wish

you never had...I have to do this alone...because you wouldn't understand...this is my

power and I have always done this alone," Rei muttered angrily, as she found she had

nowhere to go since it was still dark outside and the only light came from the moon that

shone through her window, and splashed onto Minako's shoulder.

"You are a hypocrite," Minako replied shortly after.

Minako's grip tightened a little on Rei's hand but she remained silent throughout

the whole of Rei's epiphany, finally just getting up and walking to the bed and taking

the mattress and blankets from it, returned and put the matresses on the ground like

a make-shift bed, but now she was next to Rei's sleeping bag. Laying down flat on

her side she looked at Rei with a bit of a smile on her face.

"So explain...what have you been doing these past few years?"

Turning her head around hesitantly, so that lying on her back she could look

directly into Minako's eyes, she swallowed softly as her face ended up close

to Minako's, but she disguised it by shifting so that she didn't have to stare at

Minako directly.

"...talk about what....? Why do you want to know?" Rei asked softly.

"Well you said you didn't know me anymore than that says the same to me that

I don't know you anymore...so tell me...what kind of trouble have you been getting

into?" Minako asked unperturbed.

Rei's mouth opened and closed...where to start? She made it sound all necassary

to get a feel for Minako but now when it came down to it, she found it hard to tell all

the rest of 3 years absent in a few hours, but it didn't mean that she wouldn't try. Rei

decided that it was best to start from when she had landed up in Kyoto and trailed

herself from there. She told Minako about all the beautiful sights she had seen and the

people she had met good and bad altogether. She even told her of the hard lessons

she had faced, while amidst strengthing her powers against the fabric of the mortal

world.

Minako in her turn, let Rei speak and mainly just took an intake of breath whenever

Rei paused, or when the climax of one of her adventures approached Minako would

clench her pillow tightly as it passed.

"...I just couldn't stand there while the whole world was practically spinning around

me, that's why I decided to take the government job, well that's how I ended up being

some kind of catapulting wonderwoman in kyoto and all, but I don't know I'm not that

great," Rei added modestly after her speech trying to shine some light away from her.

Minako looked at her in wonder a slight smile crinkling around the edges of her

lips as she pinched at a little corner of her pillow she looked at Rei as if Rei was

some new person.

"You've changed Rei....that's good for you....but you know something in you is

still the same," Minako murmured laughing at the thought of Rei being so mature and

yet so childish at the same time.

"Hey, you have too...you've spread your wings far beyond what I can do," Rei

replied blushing a little.

"We all have Rei, we've grown new wings after our old ones fell out. That's

how life goes, you lose your wings, but you will always grow new ones."

"It all feels the same sometimes. Like I'm some classical hero in some prodigous

play, like everything has already been planned ahead, the ending has already been

ordained, but the way I take the journey is unpredictable, and the happy ending is

a milestone away," Rei sighed as her hand twisted the fabric of sleeping bag

restlessly.

" We deal with what we are given. I've doubted for a long time about what

matters the most, to be a hero in someone else's world and tackling everything big

and dubbed heroic, or just being a hero in your own world, living life as it is as who

you were _born to be_."

---------------

(later)

"So, do you like wine?" Minako asked as she popped a cork in the kitchen as

she seemed to make a toast to the moon outside.

Rei fidgeted, because she never had drank wine, or even tasted a drop of   
alcohol before in her life. She had seen her mother drink just a little, when she felt

hassled and tired with the days she had to go through, but she had rarely seen

her mother drunk.

"No...never tasted it before," Rei murmured not wanting to lie to Minako.

Minako looked at her in a bit of shock and then smiled and poured out another full

glass for Rei. Rei wasn't sure if she should intake that much either, but not wanting to

backdown from a challenge, even though Minako hadn't expressed it as one Rei smoothly

took the glass, and without a second thought she gulped about half of it down....bad idea.

As soon as that fiery liquid entered her mouth, it burned its way down her throat forcing her

to cough and spit most of the wine across the floor, as she and Minako sat cross-legged on it.

Rei's eyes burned fiercely and sparkled with tears, as the liquid slowly settled in her stomach,

and sat there setting fire to each and every cell in her body. Minako forced back a laugh as

she saw Rei's first encounter with wine as she handed Rei a napkin to brush away her

tears.

"You sure are an amateur at this, even I knew not to gulp down wine the first time,

here. You have to sip it slowly, and hold it in your mouth, until it changes taste in your

mouth. It'll be spicy at first, then sour, and then finally sweet and then you may swallow

it," Minako informed Rei as she watched Rei wipe away the droplets of wine across the

floor.

"Thanks for the advice," Rei drawled sarcastically. "I could've used that a moment

ago before I drank it."

Smirking, Minako answered with a flip of her hair and another sip from her wine

glass as she was half-done with it. The wine bottle sat between them, where they

had found it in the recesses of Rei's belated grandfather's room and had brought it

out, just for the sake of toasting the old man.

"So, Rei...why didn't you move in with your father after your grandfather died?

I hear, Senator Hino has quite the luxurious accomadations," Minako said starting idle

conversation.

"I lived with him for awhile, but it was all too rich anyway, and it's not like

I ever got to see him more, it was just too uncomfortable for me. I got myself

emancipated," Rei replied taking a slug of the wine and holding it in her mouth

before swallowing.

"Why? You could've gotten taken care of," Minako murmured watching her

wine splash across the rim of her glass.

"I'd rather live out on the streets than live with my father...sometimes it takes

more time to forgive and forget," Rei muttered bitterly as she finished her glass of

wine headily.

"Family is family...you're lucky to still have family left," Minako retorted also

finishing her glass and pouring for them out another.

"I think my father gave up on me when my mother died...he never tried

even the slightest to be there for me or my mother. Not even when she died,

he was always working, and he worked even more when she died. It was

always work," Rei muttered angrily as she ignored the burning sensation going

down her throat as she guzzled the wine.

"No he didn't...Rei you know some people in this life...are unhappy because

they don't have _anything_ left to lose," Minako retorted while watching her wine

flicker across the rim of her glass.

"Aren't you supposed to take my side?" Rei asked, as she took a large gulp of

wine, liking the way it left a burning sensation in her throat, the only thing that

distracted her from her thoughts and feelings.

"Well, I'm not a good person, Rei," Minako commented, as she tipped the contents

of her wineglass to her lips not caring if some of the wine dribbled down her chin, and

onto her black shirt.

"Agreed," Rei murmured as she did the same to her wine glass feeling light-headed

now.

Her body felt numb actually, like her legs were made of jello and she couldn't

move them, but she could turn her head and speak but mostly her conscience was

blocked from her, and whenever she tried hard to think she came up blank. Rubbing

her forehead she made a mental note to stop drinking, but forgot that mental note, as

soon as a full wineglass was shoved at her. So much, for safe-drinking....

Minako didn't know how many glasses of wine she had, had she just knew that

the wine bottle was empty, and they were still clinking their wineglasses together in

makeshift toasts. Rei's head, had fallen onto her shoulder and stayed there as they

talked about everything and nothing at all, their sense of formality out the door.

"Let's make a toast...to imperfection, and my father, who still can make excuses

about work at a time like this," Rei slurred, as she thrust her wineglass out into the air

as the air seemed to hang thick and heavy between them.

"Here, here," Minako answered her voice steady as always and she clinked

glasses with Rei.

Minako was amused at the fact that this was how Rei was drunk....boisterous

and definetely more open hearted than the not-drunk Rei. Minako wondered if Rei knew

that she was drunk, but thought, of course not. Rei had always been full of pride so

she would deny any idea of her being drunk. Minako herself felt a little tipsy as she had

consumed more wine than required for just "social drinking". In truth, Minako had never

consumed as much alcohol as she had consumed tonight, sure on talk shows she

would have a small glass of wine, but never let herself go.

"So this is what it's like....being drunk. Doesn't feel that much different from being

awake," Minako murmured, certain that however in control she was of her state right

now, that she was drunk, as was Rei.

"M-not drunk," Rei mumbled, as she tried her best to sit up by herself, without

inconsequently leaning over onto Minako.

"Whatever you say, Rei," Minako spoke passively as her hand gripped the neck

of the wine bottle, and she threw it apathetically against the wall, shattering it.

That brought Rei quickly to her senses as her drugged like state took backseat

and she was very aware of the crinkling of glass.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rei exclaimed as she watched as pieces of

glass fell to the tiled floor of her kitchen.

"I just wanted to see what would happen," Minako replied breezily waving her

wineglass in the air, contemplating on what to do with it.

"What would you think if I did something bad just to see what would happen?" Rei

retorted prying the wineglass free from Minako's careless grip.

"Depends on what you were planning to do," Minako replied, smirking as she

watched how Rei snapped out of her drunken stupor.

Rei tried her best to ignore the little dots of light dancing in her eyes as she glared

at Minako, but couldn't keep her glare up, as she felt her hazy wonderland start back up

again. Rei started noticing little things about Minako all at once, things that she would've in

her sober state overlooked, Minako....looked beautiful. Rei had always thought that Minako

was pretty, just a step above her, but now with the way the moon just splashed its beams

onto Minako's shoulder, accentuating Minako's lovely curves and cupid-like smile, Rei had

this need now....this urge to just reach over and touch Minako's lips and see how they felt,

and see how they could they look so tempting and innocent at the same time. She wanted

to press her lips upon them and see how they tasted like, and maybe find out if the gloss

on Minako's lips would stay, or just rub off on her lips.

Minako's eyes widened as she stopped her useless jabbering on about how the wine

bottle pieces were a nice centerpiece for the floor when she felt a tentative touch on her

bottom lip. Turning her head around hesitantly, she saw Rei swallow slightly, as Rei's eyes

seemed to be transfixed on a target that was not her eyes. Minako tried to speak, tried to

move her mouth to say anything just to spoil this moment, because it was making her

uncomfortable, that _look_ in Rei's eyes pained her. She knew what that look was, it was

one of desire, of lust, and most of all the mixed beginnings of love. She wanted to protect

Rei from love, from ever having to put up with someone like her for a lover, and maybe to

protect Rei from her way of life, to run away, before loved hooked itself into her. If Rei was

to fall in love with anyone else Minako wouldn't have had any objections to it, but with her?

_Why?_ What did Rei see in her? What did Rei want of her?

Rei was aware of her fingertips on Minako's lips, and she could feel the silky

smoothness, and the warmth of them. Every small exhale Minako took Rei could've

counted against the ticking rhythm of her watch, but she didn't. She could only

concentrate on Minako, and she couldn't take her eyes off of her, and she didn't

want to. It was a painful thing to fall into what was most likely an unsteady path

where there was no trail for Rei to follow but the emotions Minako showed her.

Her head was leaning forward unconsciously as she noticed Minako had leaned

half the way for her, and as their lips met Rei lost herself to the explosion of flavor on

her tongue as she tasted remnants of wine on Minako, and cinammon just briefly...then

strawberry, the taste of the lip gloss. Slowly, Minako moaned softly, and tipped her head

back letting Rei's tongue slide effortlessly into her mouth. A fire had started itself in Rei's

stomach, as she felt the wine she had consumed from before coming back to her in full

throttle, as the burning sensation seemed to have slipped down from her stomach to

between her legs.

Minako's lips were hot and scorching as she felt Minako reciprocate, and that only

made her eager for more, as she trailed her hand down Minako's lower back to bring

her in closer to her, but just as soon as their bodies had made brief contact Minako's

eyes fluttered open wide in realization. Cutting off their heated kiss, Minako stood up

jerkily, as her elbow hit the kitchen counter. Eyes open wide, Minako looked at Rei as

if she had just been burned, and she backed away with a look of hopelessness in her

eyes.

"What's wrong?" Rei asked finally finding her voice and her tongue back.

Minako just shook her head as she backed away to the exit of the shrine

almost tripped over her shoes.

"Minako," Rei called out worried now and she stood up shakily and lurched

after Minako.

"D-don't Rei...just stay there. Don't go after me or come after me. Just don't," Minako

cried as she clumsily put on her shoes and ran off.

"Dammit Minako, come back here! You don't just kiss someone and leave....me

hanging...I love you!" Rei sputtered trying to do the best she could to pull Minako back.

At those three words Minako paused in her hurried steps and turned around

exhaling a breath.

"Don't say things that you don't mean, Rei," Minako replied shakily as she once

again turned her back on Rei and walked away.

Rei watching all of this, slammed her fist onto the counter feeling the mind-numbing

pain shoot up her uninjured arm, and temporarily ease her of the ache that was forming

in her chest.

"DAMMIT...damn you Hino Rei...you just had to mess it up!"

--------------

Artemis had been crouched in the bushes when Rei and Minako had started

drinking, and had stayed there until he heard the shattering of glass, and a few

moments later Minako storming out of the shrine in what seemed like to Artemis

another breakdown. Artemis' two beady eyes squelched together, as no sooner

than second later Rei's ragged voice split through the night air delivering the words

"I love you", splitting into Artemis' conscience like a knife. If he had been drowsy and

content before now he was distressed and worried.

It wasn't a surprise for him to hear Rei say those words it was just Minako's

reaction he was so tense about. Maybe, it was wrong to stay at the Hikawa shrine,

when tender lines were being stretched for Minako already, but without Rei, Minako

would've never gotten where she was now. Artemis was a fool to think that this

wouldn't help progress and escalate the momental pinnacle of Rei and Minako's

growing emotions. Now he paid a blunt blow as a price as he laid eyes upon

Minako's tear-strained and confused face.

"Oh dear...." Artemis murmured to himself, as he nimbly appeared out of

the bushes just in time, to catch Rei in a fit of rage hurt herself again.

If he didn't fix this everything would become unwound and who knows

who Minako might end up going to? Artemis didn't even want to think of it as he

ran forward only to see Minako come crashing into a figure on the street...Kaijou.

Artemis heard Kaijou murmur something low to her, and Minako utter out a curse

before walking hurriedly away, while Kaijou just calmly wiped the spit off of his

face. Artemis dove behind a tree as Kaijou started back up his saunter to the front

of the shrine and Rei noticing the figure approached.

To say that she was surprised was an understatement. Rei recognized him

even in the darkness shadowing his features, she didn't remember his name, but

she remembered all too well, that one newscast where he had pronounced that he

had fucked Minako. Just the mention of that fired off Rei's already smoldering temper.

"It's late what do you want? If you want to buy a charm or pray you're out of

luck, nobody in their right mind would be out here for that reason, go away!" Rei

snapped angrily without even bothering to let him talk first.

Rei wanted nothing more than to go inside the shrine and just sit in front of

the sacred fire, that usually calmed her, but after meeting Kaijou she felt like she

needed someone to just knock her out.

At Rei's bitter reprimand Kaijou smirked, and just ran a hand through his wild

hair, and pushed out to Rei in his hand an old copy of Juuban News the local newspaper.

The issue was dated back to nine years ago, and on it's front cover was a shadowy

picture of Sailor V, Minako's other identity before she became Venus. Rei wondered

why this had anything to do with her or Minako at all, she just knew that Kaijou had

extended it out to her and she took it.

"Now, I thought Senator Hino's daughter would be a beautiful young woman, but

all I see is a little girl with an ugly scowl on her face. Be a dear, and give that to Minako,

won't you?" Kaijou teased, testing Rei.

"What do you know!? Stop prying into other people's business," Rei retorted almost

ripping the newspaper from Kaijou's hands by force.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. It's my nature to be worried about what the senator's daughter

is doing, because it might affect his campaign and image. It's pretty weird in itself

why Minako would want to spend her day cooped up in an old rundown place like

this with the senator's tempermental daughter," Kaijou remarked feeling like nothing

could hurt him now.

"You...!" Rei sputtered but refrained from saying what she really thought of

him, because she knew he held the power that could destroy her father right now,

and even though she hated her Papa she didn't hate him enough to ruin his life.

At Rei's pause, Kaijou knew he had the upper hand, and played it to his advantage

to further infuriate Rei.

"I saw Minako storming from here with tears in her eyes, oh dear, you've made

her cry haven't you? Well, with a rarity like Minako you must hold her in by force, if

you want to keep her," Kaijou said his voice dipping low at the mention of Minako.

Rei's eyes widened at this, and she raised her hand as if to strike Kaijou, but

instead she threw the newspaper at Kaijou's feet.

"I'm not going to be tempted with you, you're a waste of my time," Rei scoffed as

she turned away, not wanting to let Kaijou know that he had her cornered and on the

edge.

"You know it was so easy to find you, news of a riot carries fast, especially that

of Aino Minako in a grocery store, of course, if I had known it was this easy I would've

scheduled the riot earlier when you were at her flat. You can't protect _her _so you can't

ever have her...don't be stupid, she needs someone who can protect her, that's why

she ran away from you. You'll never be enough, because in the end you know what

you really are? Your father's daughter...deadbeats run deep in the Hino family," Kaijou

mocked at her back.

Rei bit her lip hard enough for her to taste her own blood, as she realized the

meaning that Kaijou was implying that he deliberately scheduled the riot in the grocery

store, and did not care that Minako would've gotten hurt, it seemed like part of his plan.

She tried to ignore that nagging feeling of truth at the pit of her stomach, but she could

barely contain her seething anger at him lecturing her on what Minako needed. Yes, she

had failed Minako countless times in the past, as a leader, as a support, and now as a

friend she couldn't do anything. She had been operating blind that day and she had paid

for that, but now just to see her mistake spat back in her face from the man that had

supposedly stolen Minako's virginity right from under her, made it ten times worse as

everything around her vision went white as she tried her best not to lose control and

actually do physical harm to him.

"Oh, remember to deliver the newspaper to Minako, I'm sure she'll accept it, since

my message to her is in it," Kaijou chuckled as he sauntered away certain that he

had a made a lasting impression on the Hino girl.

"Now...I wait for her to answer my calling...Minako your days of freedom are

counting down," Kaijou whispered to himself as he dove into his limo to finish off his

casket of wine.

----------------

Artemis pawed at the ground with his plushy feet as he wished he had teeth

to gnaw at his own skin at the frustration he was feeling. Kaijou had scored a low

blow to Rei, reminding her of just how Kaijou had been close to Minako, and he of

course had over-exaggerated Minako's "consent" at his love and protection, but

still he had done what he had sought to do, and Artemis was left alone to deal with

the damage.

No one could help Artemis now, not Usagi, not Makoto, or Ami. Artemis tried his

best to ignore the way Rei was huddled onto the floor now,curled up into a ball. He

could even hear the silent stifled sobs that ran through Rei's body as she tried her

best to hide them from him. He knew she knew he was there.

"Rei..." Artemis murmured weakly as he slowly made his way to her afraid that

Rei in her state would create harm to herself and others.

"What is it?" Rei asked harshly as her throat seemed to have constricted and

forced her to take heaving breaths.

"It's best if you take that newspaper...I fear that...what's in it may be the worst

for you and Minako," Artemis advised her softly as his eyes drew together in sorrow.

"What else could be worst? I've done the worst possible thing...I've _destroyed _our

friendship, I was so stupid...she wanted it to be innocent and I even refused her that,

oh I've fucked up so badly," Rei moaned as she put a hand over her face shamefully.

"Rei...it's not your fault, you can't stop how you feel, and it's not Minako's fault

either but if you don't pull through, Minako will be worst off...pull yourself together

Rei or else thing's will get worse!" Artemis retorted trying to help Rei up off of her

side.

Rei sat up and looked at Artemis.

"She won't talk to me...I know that for a fact. She doesn't want me or anyone

else, that's how she's always been, alone and happy with it," Rei said bitterly as

she swiped the angry tears off of her face.

"I'll talk to her, Rei, and she does want you in a way you wouldn't know Rei, but

this is just her trying to run away and protect you, you might not understand it but

you know Minako more than she knows herself and I know you know she wouldn't

do anything that she didn't feel was right, somewhere deep in her heart of

hearts," Artemis pleaded with Rei at the end of his line.

Sniffling, Rei stood up and walked over to the fallen newspaper and picked it

up hesitantly and scanned the front cover still confused about what it meant.

"What do you think...this means?" Rei asked getting back a shred of her resilience

again.

"I don't know....but I have a feeling it's not good, the only clue we have is

the newspaper dates back to nine years ago the first time Sailor V started

appearing," Artemis replied.

"I don't think this could do any damage," Rei murmured.

"Still it's best if we keep it hidden from Minako...Minako isn't very...fond of her

past as Sailor V, so please...for me...for Minako and for you, please keep it hidden

until we can no longer hide it," Artemis pleaded again.

Rei looked at Artemis, and he looked straight back at her, their expressions somber

and serious. Rei inhaled a breath as she nodded slowly and sought out a place in the

shrine to hide it in for the time being while Artemis sped over out of the shrine to find  
Minako.

---------------

Artemis didn't know where to find Minako, but he had promised Rei that

he would try so he dashed across the block a few times, before he caught

sight of Minako walking calmly back to the shrine with her body kind of leaning

against the fence as if for support. Artemis knew then that Minako was drunk,

you never could tell with Minako because her mood stayed the same, but she

would go into these long silent periods where her eyes would just concentrate

on something faraway, and she'd start walking almost sideways as if her world

was tilted.

Minako had that faraway look now as in her hands she brandished an unopen

bottle of red wine. Upon seeing Artemis, Minako smirked knowing what he was

approaching her for.

"Is it the right time for you to be talking to me when I'm like this?" Minako asked

Artemis as she walked up the shrine steps.

"Yes, I think it's the right time, because the only time you're really awake and

listening is when you _are_ drunk," Artemis replied as he trotted up the stairs with

Minako.

"You have so little faith in me," Minako muttered as she entered the shrine's

kitchen when she knew that Rei was gone.

"I have a lot of faith in you Minako. That's how I know, you'll sit and listen to

me, and not drink another drop of wine," Artemis intoned his voice reaching a

pleading note.

Minako didn't reply as she plopped down on the floor and popped open the

cork on the wine bottle.

"Minako...don't do this to Rei. It's not what you want and you know it," Artemis

pleaded again.

"What am I doing wrong but protecting Rei?" Minako asked harshly.

"You're not protecting her you're hurting her! For once, Minako put

your faith in her and let go of the past, because if you let go of Rei it'll be

the worst decision you've ever made in your life," Artemis retorted ready

for an argument.

"Don't tell me about decisions Artemis...leaving couldn't be the worst decision

I've made. Staying would be, and meaning something to Rei, and then one day

when that day comes when I have to leave, it'll hurt her even more...you know

that," Minako replied.

"I've never seen you so afraid of anything in your life Minako. You do not

fear death but you fear love in itself? The time of the senshi is over Minako you

have the right to live as you wish! Minako you are throwing away something

irreplaceable in only a few days I've noticed you become so different from when

you were alone, more alive, and...happy. I wish to see you happy Minako," Artemis

replied softly.

Minako was silent after that, her eyes shifting away from Artemis, in guilt. The

bottle of wine had looked appealing before, when she had sought out to buy it

so certain that it would drown away her problems, and give her the courage to

leave everything behind, but now it sickened her. Her thoughts were swimming

slowly into her mind but she didn't know where to follow through. Would she

leave? Could she leave? Somehow she knew her heart would never let her

live it down and she'd probably end up hating herself....like always.

"Damnit...I hate thinking, I hate complications and most of all I just hate myself

for falling this way," Minako muttered placing a hand upon her forehead.

"Don't...there's nothing wrong Minako. You fell for the right person," Artemis

comforted her not sure what she was saying but he hoped that it meant she

would stay. "This is your home, Minako."

Minako in her desperation took a swig of wine, only to have it come back

up as she gagging a little, ran to the sink to cleanse her body of the liquid.

Figures, she couldn't even take at least take some numbness with her, but

something about the word home...made her want to stay. Spitting out the

remnants of her wine Minako tumbled down heavily against the floor as Artemis

watched with sad eyes.

"Minako....." Artemis sighed.

"I know...I'm being foolish, Artemis. To let her get away from me...to try to

run away, either way the pull of destiny will always bring me back to her," Minako

said as she picked Artemis up and put him in her lap.

"Then you should go to her," Artemis replied closing his eyes in contentment

knowing that he had stopped Minako from leaving.

"Can't I at least keep her waiting? You know...make it more romantic?" Minako

as giggling softly.

"Minako..." Artemis sighed at the return of Minako's mild humor. "You're drunk

and desperately in need of sleep, I'll meet you in the morning."

and with that Artemis tumbled off of Minako's lap and onto the floor.

"If you excuse me but I think I have a ball of yarn in the yard that I need to

chase," Artemis stated as he bounded off outdoors.

At that, Minako chuckled and shakily got up, her vision swaying a little as

she made her way to what she memorized was the way to Rei's room. Upon

approaching the doorway, she noticed that the light was turned on as Rei lay on

the floor sprawled out, but her head was turned towards the bed as if she was

contemplating whether to just lay where she was or get up. Minako approached

slowly and Rei turned her head out of surprise and her eyes widened as she

saw Minako above her.

Sputtering, Rei struggled to stand up but just a small touch of Minako's hand

on her shoulder was enough to make her stay put. Rei lowered her gaze from

Minako's unwavering ones as she waited for Minako to say anything...a curse,

a reprimand, anything, but what she didn't expect was for Minako to lean down

and capture her lips nto a kiss. The shock was only registered into her mind for a

moment, before all melted, and she was drawing Minako closer into her, breathing

a sigh as Minako didn't resist her.

"You came back...?" Rei uttered in disbelief as Minako pulled away from her.

Minako just smiled as an answer and poked her.

"Are you going to get up, or are your legs numb from laying like this?" Minako asked.

"I don't know....maybe I just need something to stimulate me to get up," Rei replied

as she leaned up again to kiss Minako.

"Oh...and what parts am I exactly going to be stimulating?" Minako murmured before

she relented and drowned in the blissful caress of Rei's lips.....

--------------------

for joefong: this'll make up for all the teasing I've done.

(finally somebody who agrees with me that shopping can be romantic!)


	12. Breathe

**Chapter 12: Breathe**

_**"**Breathe, breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care._

_Leave, but don't leave me, look around _

_and choose your own ground_

_for long you live and high you'll fly_

_and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry,_

_and all you touch and all you'll ever see_

_is all your life will ever be." _

Slowly her eyes opened to her reality, as the sunlight filtered through her

window and showered upon her pillow and into her mass of hair, as she

clutched at the warmth next to her. Minako had come back...after hours of

just her body, lying there on the cold floor of her bedroom, she had only

gotten up when she had seen Minako's silhoutte cross the space between

the hallway and the door to her room_...their _room. Rei couldn't deny or hide

it, she had cried before and after Minako had come back, once out of

desperation and the last out of joy, and she really didn't care that Minako's

breath reeked of alcohol that wasn't of the red wine that they had drank,

and that Minako's hair was mussed and in disarray, all she cared for was

the fact that Minako had returned home.

Not wanting to disturb Minako, Rei just lay there with her hand around

Minako's torso just below her breast, and felt her heartbeat go in steady

rhythms. The feeling of finally breaking away from her little plastic wrap

world of routine was suffocating and exhilarating to her. Just the small

breaths that Minako took made Rei want to kiss her lips and stay in bed,

all throughout the afternoon, and well into the night.

"I love you baby, baby turn off the lights open your eyes to this romance," Rei

sang softly as she didn't remember the exact words to the song but she

remembered the tune well enough.

Minako stirred at Rei's singing as she peeked one eye open at Rei and

smiled slightly.

"Are you singing my song?" Minako asked sleepily.

"Hmm...it seems like it."

"You can't sing it very well...no offense but aren't things better left to the

original? Why reinvent the wheel again, Rei?" Minako teased as she threw off

the covers and stretched.

"I'm not reinventing the wheel I'm....making it better more...new-age. The old

model was a little squeaky if you know what I mean, it'd squawk every few

miles," Rei retorted snidely as she pushed Minako off the bed so she could get

out and do her business.

"I don't want a protein shake today," Minako called out to Rei as she saw the

light switch on in the bathroom.

"What am I your waitress? You are going to eat the food that I'm going to give

you, you don't know what it's like sleeping next to someone who smells of alcohol," Rei

murmured around her toothbrush.

"I slept next to you didn't I?" Minako shot back as she massaged her neck

away from the cricks.

"MMM," Rei growled at that stab again at how easily she got drunk.

It wasn't like she tried to purposely wipe out, it had been her first time, and

not a very good experience to it either. Rei didn't want to try any new alcohol

or wine content now to just be satisfied with water or juice.

"You can't control your alcohol. I advise you not to social drink or anything

like that."

"Like you can either, I remember you trying to actually knock yourself out

silly with alcohol last night, seems like you suceeded too," Rei replied spitting

out her toothpaste.

There was a momentary pause as Minako answered Rei more sincere than

Rei had ever expected it to be. Minako could always make even the most simple

of conversation turn her way with a complex touch.

"I came back for you," Minako replied casually, as she strode into the

bathroom, and plucked her orange toothbrush from its stand.

"You didn't have to," Rei murmured before sipping her tap water and

gargling.

"I didn't want to hurt you...or myself for that matter and besides...we

need to be together in times like these," Minako explained, while she washed

away last nights remainder of mascara off her face, as Rei spit into the sink.

"Times like....?" Rei questioned rubbing her face with a wash cloth.

"Times of death, Rei. Tragedy, times when you it finally hits you that people

you know...and love won't be there forever, that there is an end to every life,

and you start wondering which one of the people you know...are about to go

next," Minako replied in a grave and hushed tone.

Rei didn't reply as she washed her hands clean and wiped them on the

towel in the back of the bathroom, but before Rei passed by Minako out of

the bathroom she softly left the ghostliest of kisses upon Minako's cheek,

and turned and went away. Minako sighed, as she knew that conversation

was a deadly thing to have the morning after they had just got drunk off their

asses and had made out on the floor of the kitchen.

It could only get better Minako said to herself as she grinned foolishly to

the mirror and started her morning ritual.

------------------

Her injury throbbed yet again as she lifted the blender's lid and poured

out the shake into the cup. She had been a little lenient on Minako today, as

she actually sprinkled a little bit of flavor into the shake, and cinammon really

was a nice a touch to it. Brushing strands of hair out of her face she kneeled

down to pick up small chunks of glass remaining from the wine bottle she had

smashed against the wall yesterday. Oh, the tangled webs they weaved as

she scraped all the remnants of last night into a bag, and deposited into the

trash bin.

Rei had changed out of her pj's in the morning, now switching to a

more casual style of jeans and a tee, as she pressed upon her answering

machine for messages. Usagi's voice finally filtered through the speakers

as Minako trudged into the room in a white turtleneck and loose-fitting jeans.

_"Hey there Rei-chan, Minako-chan! I just called to tell you that we're all _

_going to go and visit Motoki at the hospital tomorrow so be sure to _

_come, kay? Makoto would really appreciate it, yeah? Oooh...also before we _

_drop by the hospital we're gonna go eat some lunch and don't worry it'll be _

_safe I'll give you the adress later, don't forget, ne? JA!" _

"That baka! Did she even care to check if we were busy?" Rei asked

indignantly.

"Like we are ever busy, Rei," Minako replied rolling her eyes as she drank

her shake.

"I know, but we might be busy doing something else," Rei murmured

emphasizing her point by kissing Minako's neck gently and dragging her lips

to Minako's ear to emphasize the "something else".

Minako's eyes widened, surprised and a little horrified at Rei's open

display of affection.

"You stop your lecherous advances Rei Hino, right now," Minako

muttered half-heartedly as she pried herself from Rei's arms.

"I'm just teasing. You're still the same hard-ass you always were," Rei

muttered back flatly.

Minako smirked at that and shrugged her shoulders.

"Since we're going to be visiting Motoki, let's go out and buy flowers," Minako

replied washing the cup.

At that, Rei groaned....more shopping. At least, maybe this time the

experience wouldn't be as excruciating as Usagi's shopping, maybe.

"Stop Rei. It's just flowers not clothes or anything else," Minako chided

clucking her tongue.

"Yeah, but soon we'll be arguing about what kind to buy, and what card

we should get...get well soon or condolences?" Rei muttered.

"Well then, argue we shall, at least we'll be doing something productive

than lying around the house," Minako replied briskly walking out onto the shrine

steps.

Sighing Rei tagged along as she grabbed her purse from the table and

patted Artemis a goodbye. If it be flowers or clothes wherever Minako went

Rei would follow.

-------------

Artemis let out an audible sigh as Rei's footsteps faded away from his

ears, and he bounded over into Rei's room. Still, the stone that had settled in

his stomach since keeping this secret from Minako wouldn't go away, no

matter how he convinced himself that this was right. Kaijou wouldn't go

away easily he knew that, he was just stalling for Rei and Minako to at

least have some time for themselves.

He had been happy last night when Minako appeared drunk in her state

to him and told him what Rei had done and said. He was the one who had

calmed Minako down, and talked some sense into her, and he had been the

one who convinced her to go back to Rei, to go to where she belonged. This

was _home_. He knew Minako understood very little of the word home and how

much it meant, the importance of home and the essence of it, but he knew she

would understand that the feelings she held for Rei was irreplaceable and that

if she let it go, she would only be throwing away a piece of herself.

Artemis hoped with all of his heart that he had bought enough time for

Minako to finally stop thinking and be happy if even for a short while, because

he sensed the foreboding in the air already, and he knew more drastic changes

would come through...

---------------

"Come on Haru, just one more spoonful and then you're done," Makoto

cooed to her baby, as she spooned out some more Gerber baby pineapple

goop.

Haru frowned but gulped the mixture down anyway as his eyes flitted

across Makoto's face. Makoto had her hands pretty much full, as she was

balancing Chibi-Usa on one knee, while Haru was in his baby chair wheeling

around.

"Now, wasn't Chibi-Usa a good girl? You ate your food all up," Makoto

murmured to Chibi-Usa as she gurgled and laughed.

Haru clapped his hands as he noticed the happiness in his mother's

voice, and Makoto couldn't help but smile at his efforts to be a little prankster.

Haru already had learned how to display his happiness or consent about

things by clapping his hands, and when he disagreed or didn't like anything,

he would shake his head from side to side vigorously.

Makoto gingerly put Chibi-Usa back in her crib for a nap as she clicked

on the baby monitor, and it played forth soothing music from it's speakers, to

lull Chibi-Usa to sleep.

Sighing Makoto stretched and looked at Haru, and tickled his nose,

which caused him to smile and grab at her fingers. Already she was calling

him a nickname, "Turtle", as he seemed to have a habit of grabbing onto her

and never letting go, until she had to forcefully pry his fingers away, but today

he let go willingly as he played with his cheerios. Haru moved the cheerios like

chess pieces, or else checker pieces as he swirled them round and round,

and seemed to pick the cheerios that were wandering away from the other

cheerios, and eat them, and then came his task of carefully picking a cheerio

from a huge group and chomping on them.

Makoto laughed at Haru's little exhibition of playing God as he slapped

away at the Cheerios after having eaten his full. Makoto took Haru's little

sticky fingers, and stuck them on her face, and kissed every one of his

little fingers. Haru giggled at that as he watched his mother.

"So, Haru, ne what do you think of Minako?" Makoto asked suddenly

wanting to hear his opinion.

Haru laughed and clapped his hands enthusiastically at the mention of

Minako, and Makoto laughed. Taking a small picture frame from the wall she

showed it to Haru-it was the picture from Mamoru and Usagi's wedding-

and asked him if he could point to where Minako was. At once Haru pinioned

his little finger on Minako's face tapping at the spot where Minako was in

the picture.

"Wow...you're so smart. That is Minako, so where is Rei?" Makoto

asked.

And Haru yet again pointed to the right one, and Makoto played this

game until she had listed everyone she knew in the picture, and she was

astonished that Haru would remember such people. That was the way Haru

was, he would always know Makoto's moods, and he would always know

when someone was angry or sad.

"Do you think Minako's a little bit sad?" Makoto queeried.

Haru nodded his head at that his smile gone from his face as his eyes

looked on at Makoto.

"Do you think I'm sad Haru?" Makoto asked hugging him to her and kissing

his little forehead.

Haru didn't nod but as an act of comfort he laid his tiny little hand on her

cheek as if to say, it's going to be okay. Makoto sniffled and patted him happy

at least that she got to keep her baby and that he would grow up, and she

hoped that when he did she would have the pleasure of dying before him,

and not having to bury him like she had to do with Motoki...sooner or later the

hammer was going to fall down.

People only had hope because they couldn't see death right behind them.

---------------

She watched the waves drifted and bleed against the sand, bringing forth

bits and pieces of glass and debris to her feet, as just the sight of the ocean

strangled out her thoughts. Her right hand fiddled with the sand, cupping it

in her palms and squeezing, just to feel the sand dribble freely through the

gaps of her fingertips. Tipping her head back she tasted and smelled the

ocean air, letting it dangle across the tip of her tongue, and then a swallow

and it was done. Her sandals were discarded a few mere feet away from

her, as her blue flowery skirt was bunched up around her knees, and her

blouse lay unbuttoned showing a white tee shirt beneath, letting the wind

whip through it like paper.

The ocean didn't do her any good really, but it helped calm her

thoughts, and quell the storm that was evident in her eyes. She was

mourning an innocence, she had thought she had cast away a long

time ago, on her road to becoming just like her mother.

"_Just like Mama_," Ami thought to herself fiddling with the ends of

her skirt.

"But what is just like Mama? What if I want to be Ami...what if I want to

be the Ami that can talk and laugh with Makoto, and the Ami that can be proud

of what she's done? Sometimes, I think I must be the loneliest person in the

world out here...everybody's got somewhere to go to," Ami whispered to the

greying clouds the perfect color for her mood.

"Perfect time then...for a talk with a long old friend," A voice interrupted

Ami's quiet consistency perturbing the air.

Ami startled a little turned around expecting it to be Usagi or someone

else but not..._Naru_. They had never hit it off in high school due to the attentive

tug of war between them for Usagi's friendship, and even though that

misunderstanding had been patched, there were still loose ends, and just

too many ways to say the wrong thing and create an even bigger rift.

"Friend...?" Ami asked, not believing the word that had just come out of

Naru's mouth.

"Yeah. You know, I might not have been the nicest person in the world to

you, but I've grown up now you know...I'm not a brat anymore," Naru replied

laughing at herself. "I don't understand why I was so foolishly afraid of my

friendship with Usagi being jeapordized by you...but it's time to put the past

behind us. High school was not the drama it was cracked up to be."

At that, Ami smiled seeing the same yet different Naru stand before her

in all her 21 years of maturity. Naru still had the same hairdo she had kept since

Junior high school and yet her eyes and smile was one of a mature woman,

one who had learned from experience and had been burned by it, but went

by scathed, but able to prosper and grow in the world she was born into.

"Yes. I would like that," Ami replied feeling the slightest bit of happiness

grace her heart at the idea of finally being able to really patch things up with

Naru for over the last three years.

"Now, I'm not going to talk about death because I think that's a subject we

want to avoid, since I only came back to Juuban because of...Motoki's sudden

illness, and I can't really talk about the good old days cause I was such a mean

old wench back then," Naru said emphasizing her use of the word "wench" and

wrinkling her nose. "So...what do you want to talk about?"

And with that Naru flopped down besides Ami, and kicked off her high

heeled shoes not even bothering to complain about the sand that was going to

work its way up her business suit, and into her drawers. Naru had the look of

grace about her, even when wearing her oddly uniform starch grey suit with

her corporate skirt, she still radiated refined beauty in the way she carried

herself.

Ami found herself in awe of Naru who seemed to have surpassed all

of everyone's expectactions and forged for herself a path to her liking. Now,

Naru wasn't like all the other high school girls who dreamed of going halfway

to college and then getting married, no, in her mind at that time where

pre-teen soon passed away into adolescence, the only thing she

thought of doing was getting away, and get away she did. Her ticket to

freedom had been a one-way transfer trip overseas to the U.S. where she

learned the language, got her bacholer's degree, and worked as a translater

from then on. Naru was never lucky in life because she didn't believe in luck.

She had _ambition_ that's what she had a fire to do more than what was

demanded of her.

"Nothing...I guess...or really you can talk about pretty much anything

around me," Ami replied feeling a bit shy at the way she was dressed like

some country girl.

"Oh...then you don't mind if I talk about the Motoki issue right?" Naru

asked getting straight to the point, a trait she carried from back in her day.

Ami averted her eyes from Naru but she nodded nonethless hoping

that somebody else's troubles would squelch out her own.

"All I know is that they should have gone to the doctor when he was

getting regular bloody noses....you know? I mean it isn't nothing nowadays

...cause nothing always leads to something. That's a fact, right there," Naru

breezed through her emotions calculating each one to each little phrase

denoted to that feeling.

"I got that feeling too," Ami replied her voice quivering as she bit her

lip remorsefully.

Naru seeing Ami's reaction knew that she had just said the wrong

thing, but what was the right thing, that you could ever say to a person

that was miserable with themselves? Everything you said would be

wrong...

"I could just shut up if you want me too," Naru said sheepishly. "I

never know when to close my mouth really, that's how I got fired from

my job at the Crown."

"Oh no...it's not you, don't ever think that it's you...it's me. I'm sorry," Ami

replied shaking her head.

"I don't think it's anybody right now Ami, I just think it's the situation. If

only, you know we could've patched our relationships up over happy times,

then maybe things wouldn't be so fucked up for you. I don't know what you're

going through, Ami, and it'd be cruel to try to tell you that I understand about

your crisis right now, I did talk to Dr. Schoen though and found out, but I'm

always here when you need me, so if it's to do nothing all day that you want

to do then so be it," Naru protested nonchalantly as she lay down on the cool

sand and looked up at Ami patiently awaiting her answer.

"I want to talk about...happiness, but not just any happiness I want to talk

about the happiness that is owed to me, and Makoto and everyone else that

has lost someone....it's unfair..."

Naru didn't answer at first as her thin fingers traced patterns in the sand

as she smelt the ocean breeze around them.

"Your prayers will be answered in due time Ami, but they'll only be

answered in the order they are recieved. Just take it easy...you've got

about...your whole life ahead of you to find out what you want to do,

there's no rushing anything. You're 21, you're young and you're intelligent,

and there's a lot of different outcomes for whatever you choose to do in

your life. Life only asks of you what it thinks you can take, Ami...I can't tell

you that those are my words but I found them in a book and memorized

those exact same words to heart," Naru soothed making a little x over her

heart at the time.

At that, Ami had the briefest of smiles flit across her face and she

realized that she did have her whole life ahead of her, and she did have

time, because it was her right to choose, and no one else's. She realized

that all her moping about herself and what she was to do had pushed her

friends farther away, and now she had to make it all up to them, especially

to Dr. Schoen since she knew that even though he would put on a calm front,

he would still be a bit disappointed at her decision to stay in Japan and look

for what she was to do. Ami realized that no matter how beautiful a city in

a foreign country was or how fluent and eccentric the language, there

was no place that could replicate home...

----------------

(Mizuno household)

Ami took hesitant steps to her house as she studied it. She had

never been home in three whole years and she wondered if her mother

had changed at all, and if her mother would even recognize her. Pushing

gently on the doorbell Ami heard hurried footsteps, and then the door

opened to reveal her mother still looking as she did three years ago,

except time had made wrinkles across her face. Enveloping Ami in a

bear hug her mother swiped tears from her eyes.

"Oh, Ami it's so good to see your face again...where have you been

you silly girl?" her mother cried happily as Ami returned the hug.

"I've been studying and finding out more about myself, mama," Ami

replied entering the house.

The house still looked the same with the same white chalkboard and

black pen, except now it was empty, no one left to write to. Her mother

bustled to get some tea ready in the kitchen as Ami seated herself at the

table.

"Mama, it's okay you don't have to get me anything," Ami called as she

heard her mother shuffling to make tea.

"Nonsense! You've finally come home after three hard years of

studying abroad and you're saying I don't have to make you anything?"

her mother protested as she bustled out with two teacups.

Ami smiled as her mother seated herself, and proceeded to explain to

her mother all about what she had seen abroad, and the advanced

technological medicine they had there and the equipment and people.

Ami said this all to try to get some ground with her mother to try to tell

her that she was confused.

"Seems like you've grown wings, so now what're you planning to do

with that degree of yours, hmm?"

"that's the reason I'm here mama...I was wondering if I could stay here

until I find out myself what I need to do," Ami murmured.

"Hmm...? What's this all of a sudden?" Her mother asked quizzically.

"Oh, Mama I'm so confused. I thought it would be so easy but I'm not you,

I can't be like you at all," Ami pleaded. "Let me stay Mama, please, I won't get in

the way."

"Of course I'll let you stay Ami this is your home and always will be, and

I know you're Ami, but you're also my daughter. Tell me what's wrong?" her

mother asked her.

"What would you say if I told you I wanted to quit being a doctor for a

while?" Ami asked.

"I would certainly be disappointed but not upset. Why, what are you

planning to do?" her mother asked her confused already at what Ami was

planning to do with the rest of her life.

"I don't know I want to see where it gets me," Ami murmured.

"What? No game plan? Oh no, that won't do Ami. It's okay if you

want to quit being a doctor, but you've also got to get your plan together

of what you are going to do so later on in life you won't regret it, and be

stalled. Now, what're you planning on doing?" her mother got straight to

business as she put away their tea.

"MMMM..." Ami said in retrospect as she told her mother of her plans

happy that they were finally talking again on a mother and daughter level.

Things would look up Ami knew that and with hope came back her

essence of spirit, she wanted to carve this memory into paper...

-------------------

"How about these?" Rei's voice interrupted Minako's train of thought as Rei

placidly stood behind Minako and offered her a lilac.

"Lilacs?" Minako asked skeptical and crooked her lips a little.

"I thought you liked lilacs," Rei replied as she put the lilac back into it's vase.

"Now where did you hear that?" Minako asked incredously as she walked

around the tightly cramped flower shop.

"Usagi. She always used to talk a lot about you when we were kids. She

always read from magazines to see what you liked, a true fan," Rei replied

eyeing a plastic bouquet in the corner.

Minako chuckled as she struggled to move around in the littered space

of the shop.The cash register alone and its counter took up most of the

space as the heady smell of musky perfume permeated the air, and almost

seemed to deaden Rei's sense of smell, as the scent gave Rei a headache.

"I thought you said this was a popular and well renowned shop," Rei

grunted trying not to cover her nose in front of the salesclerk.

"It is. To A-list entertainment icons," Minako replied stooping down to

look closely at a bonsai tree.

"Oh...a shop for the dirty rich and snooty," Rei muttered. "The smell suits

the customers perfectly."

"Jealous, are you?" Minako retorted coyly as she noticed the salesclerk

frown at Rei's statement.

"As if!" Rei exclaimed as she accidently knocked over a vase but

managed to catch it before it hit the ground.

That one motion gained Rei a stern look from the clerk. If only the clerk

knew who it was that was with Rei, the clerk's personality would be much

more different. More kiss-ass and less snooty business decor, Rei thought.

Minako knowing what Rei was thinking, elbowed her gently and Rei sighed

and rolled her eyes, trying her best to be more....cheerful.

"No wonder you didn't suceed as Mars Reiko. Your face is too scary," Minako

laughed as she pinched Rei's cheeks.

"Ib not...subbosed to be coot," Rei murmured as Minako pinched her cheeks.

Swaying away Minako left Rei standing there in front of the clerk's

scrutinizing gaze. The clerk a woman about no older than her mid 30's,

looked at Rei as if she had a bug under her nose, and sniffed the air as if

she smelled something foul.

"Excuse me for living," Rei muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" The clerk asked.

"Nothing..." Rei replied waiting for Minako to finish choosing a flower so  
they could just get the hell out of here.

Rei thought that clerks were supposed to be polite, and friendly, always

willing to direct you in whatever you needed to buy.

"We have many big stars come here not as if you'd know," the clerk

said suddenly out of the blue as the silence at the end of the world seemed

to inch in around them.

"What?" Rei asked sharply before Minako as at her side again.

"Excuse me, do you have daisies here?" Minako asked politely as she

readjusted her baseball cap and smoothed out her ripped jeans.

The clerk looked at Minako as if Minako had just grown an extra head...

her eyes bulged out that far. Rei wanted to slap the woman for her arrogance,

but Minako held her arm discreetly, and nodded to the clerk.

"We don't sell daisies here....look elsewhere," The clerk replied sharply as

she waved her hand at the direction of the door.

"Thank you," Minako replied curtly and she walked out the door of the shop

with Rei in tow.

"Now what?" Rei asked in a monotone.

"Didn't we go out of the shrine to have fun? Why do you sound like you'd

rather watch paint dry?" Minako asked sighing softly.

"It's fun...I just...where are we going to go now to get our flowers? We've

been unofficially kicked out from this one," Rei retorted stuffing her hands into

the pockets of her jean jacket.

Minako smiled and replied, "I know a place..."

----------------

(Bouquet place)

"It's nice to see you here...Minako...Rei," Makoto said slowly as she rocked

baby Haru in his crib next to her counter.

"Nice to see you again too...do you have any daisies I could buy?" Minako

replied smiling as Rei tickled Haru playfully.

"Ummm...yes of course!" Makoto said trying her best to get to business

after being caught off-guard by their entrance.

Makoto bustled out to the racks as Rei looked at Minako pointedly.

"You _know_ a place?" Rei said sarcastically.

"Yes I do," Minako replied smirking as she looked at Haru.

"Wanna hold him?" Rei asked.

"Can you see me with babies Rei? Or even holding them? Or...having

one?" Minako asked her mouth turned up in a bemused smile.

"No...not really....but don't you like babies?" Rei asked as she cooed to

Haru.

"Not really...I don't dislike them but I'm indifferent to them, I can never recall

a time when I was as vulnerable as a child, so I don't know...what to do with

them really,usually it just turns into a staring contest between me and the

baby," Minako stated as she watched Rei rock Haru in her arms gently with

care.

"Can you see me with a baby?" Rei asked suddenly as she made faces

at Haru.

"With your temper no," Minako started as Rei gave her a scowl at the

comment. "But...seeing you now...you'd be a perfect mother."

"Hmm...I don't know...I don't know if I can handle taking care of another

child in my shrine, especially since I have such a big one now," Rei replied

smirking at Minako.

"Who's to say you've shown maturity over the past few days?" Minako

retorted as she waved at Makoto who had finally come back out from the

back of the store.

"It took a long time to wrap the daisies but here you are," Makoto said as

she handed Minako the daisies.

"They're beautiful," Minako smiled as she plucked one and put it behind her

ear.

Rei smiled a little at the image it present her with...Minako with a daisy in

her hair, and even Haru ooed and clapped his hands. Minako laughed at that

and asked Makoto how much.

"Since you made Haru laugh...and well I know who this is for...I'll give it to

you for free," Makoto replied laughing.

"Don't give her any free dibs...she might come back for more," Rei replied

jovially. "Or else she might go to Le Stink Bouquet to buy flowers."

At that, Makoto chuckled and took Haru from Rei's arms waving them

a goodbye as they walked out of the store and into the bright daylight.

-----------------

Minako walked gaily throughout the street, seeming to bask in the warm

rays of the sun as she stopped by every bakery store or diner, just to smell

the aromas wafting from them, as she seemed to be finding a place to eat.

Rei tagged along diligently, as she studied the archaic designs of the buildings,

and how even they ceased to change from the scenery around them...the

apartments were still so squished together. Rei started a little at the subtle

touch on her hand, and the pull it provided to her feet, as she struggled to

catch up with Minako's strides.

"Come on slowpoke," Minako laughed as Rei now walked beside her

breathing a little bit heavily.

"I was just enjoying the scenery...but you seem like you want to have some

lunch. Where to?" Rei asked.

Minako just smiled one of her ambigous smiles, and led Rei through the

streets, and the people just passed them by absorbed in their own daily

rituals. They stopped at a baguette place first, contemplating buying a loaf

and splitting it, but then that meant they'd have to buy something to drink,

and the block seemed to be surrounded by nothing but coffee stores. So

that plan to buy a loaf of bread was ditched...

"Should we go for Italian?" Minako murmured quizzically.

"Pasta? Isn't that special," Rei said casually as she dismissed the italian

place.

"Sushi?"

"Too common..."

"Thai?"

"Spicy food...they charge extra for water..."

"Lobster?"

"For lunch!?!"

"You're right....deli?"

"Not into the sandwich thing..."

"How about we just go for old fashioned wingin' it?"

"Winging it?"

---------------------

They were seated at a park bench as Rei dragged a table

over to where Minako was seated with their lunch. Minako popped

a fry into her mouth, as she watched in interest at Rei's efforts to move

the plastic table, in from the park.

Rei finally sat down as they enjoyed the shade beneath a tree with yellow

leaves as Fall seemed to be happening all around them as they ate. They had

wasted away all options except for this one, they had tried every diner they

found, every current restaurant, but instead they now settled for fries, some

bottled water, skittles, and burgers. It was nice to know they weren't indecisive

but maybe just lazy to dine somewhere fancy, but this was a feeling of content

as they sat on the park bench, watching as leaves fell into their burgers.

"This is...nice," Rei muttered around her burger as she watched little

children run by on their hurry to get to the swing sets.

"Content would be the word. I feel much better eating out in this open

air," Minako replied taking a sip of water.

"Hmmm...and it didn't cost more than a few meager dollars," Rei supplied

as she drowned her fry in ketchup.

"To tell you the truth I don't go out and eat much...my wicked fitness

and diet trainer keeps me indoors with her atkins plan," Minako murmured

as she watched the sunlight play tricks with the color of Rei's hair.

"How can you have a diet with no carbs?" Rei mused as she snaked her

arm around Minako's.

"Beats me...let's not think about that right now," Minako murmured as her

head fell onto Rei's shoulder.

And then it was silent, as if a spell had been cast, cleansing all their

thoughts away as they huddled against the warmth of each other. They

didn't move for a moment as falling leaves washed over them, surrounding

the moment with a cool ethereal glow as Rei was aware of nothing else at   
the moment...nothing else that mattered.

"You know...when Kaijou was with me he used to try all sorts of things,

if I let him...he'd just look for the oppurtunity to spoil a nice moment by either

taking advantage of it, or saying something crude," Minako spoke once

again breaking the tender veil.

Rei peeked on eye open then stared at Minako.

"What?" Minako asked blinking.

"Why do you have to spoil a moment like this? Especially with mention of

your beau?" Rei huffed grumpily.

"He is not my beau!" Minako retorted nudging Rei gently with her elbow

at the mention of Kaijou as more or less her "beau".

"Then what were you two for two years? Friends with benefits!?" Rei

asked dryly as she earned a smack on the arm for her statement again.

"No. We were entertainment icons...trying to gain more popularity by

teaming up our star power...he meant nothing to me. The only reason I

went with his charade was because of the pressure between me and

my agent," Minako replied coarsely.

"Ah. So he still got benefits?" Rei repeated seeming to Minako like she

didn't care about anything else but the fact that Kaijou had been with

Minako for over two years.

"Are you jealous?" Minako asked pointedly seperating herself from Rei's

side and inching a little away.

"Really now, Minako. Couldn't you tell I'd be the jealous type when you first

met me?" Rei asked saracstically.

"If you know you're the jealous type you could at least stop yourself from

sounding like an obsessive jerk," Minako shot back their little picnic in the park

losing its luster.

Rei sputtered at Minako's scathing reply, and did not think that she was

being a "jerk" at anything...she was asking perfectly sensible questions! Even

though Rei did felt a little prick of jealousy at Kaijou's infinite knowledge of

Minako, and how to make her tick....and fine there were a lot of pinpricks of

jealousy running through her, but it's not like Minako wasn't used to this

already.

"Rei....just ask the question," Minako said exasperated at having to beat

around the bush with Rei too many times over the same topic.

"Nevermind..." Rei muttered angrily as she dunked another fry in ketchup

angrily trying to vent on that.

"Why do you always have to spoil my mood?" Minako asked.

"Why do you always have to spoil the moment? I would'nt have

asked about Kaijou if you didn't bring him up!" Rei retorted crossing

her arms.

Minako narrowed her eyes, and put the burger she was holding,

down sharply. Rei rolled her eyes at that, too used to Minako's temper

tantrums, and opted instead to think that her temper was worse.

"You want to know the truth, Rei? Since you're dying to know...and yet

can't even bring up the guts to ask me! Yes...I did have sex with him, satisfied?"  
Minako said sharply trying hard not to make her words hurt more than it did.

Rei's eyes widened as her ears caught the words from Minako's mouth

in disbelief, and she shoved the fries in her mouth forcefully, before she

bit her own tongue out of anger. Rei didn't care if she even chewed before

she swallowed, she just kept shoving the burger in her mouth, and tried to

shut the buzzing in her ear out.

"Rei..." Minako spoke softly and touched her arm.

"MMM!" Rei grunted in protest and shrank away from Minako's touch.

Minako seeing Rei shrink away dropped her arm. Soon enough, Rei

choked on her overfill of food, and felt Minako provide a well-laid slap

on her back to dislodge the food in her windpipe. Rei finally calmed down

enough to shy her eyes away from Minako"s darker ones.

"Rei...I was not myself at that time. I thought it didn't matter who I gave

my virginity too...as long as I lost it. It didn't matter to me, because first times

too me was inexperience, I hated inexperience and of course Kaijou played

that card to his advantage, and when I had done it...I didn't feel any regret,

I still do not feel any regret. I may have given him my body, but I'm with you

now aren't I? Shouldn't that be the only thing that matters?" Minako inquiried

Rei softly.

"But it matters to me," Rei muttered trying to isolate herself.

"I know it does...but you have to know, this is me. This is dirt on

my shoulder,and I'm happy with it, the past does not equal the future,

Rei," Minako tried to talk to Rei, or rather the back of Rei's head.

At that, Rei glared at Minako in anger as her hands clenched to her

sides, and she wondered just briefly about why she fell in love with

this woman.

"You _lied_ to me about not sleeping with him....you always_ lie_...it's not

about him having your virginity it was never about that at all. It was about

the truth, if you were willing to give it to me, but now I don't see how you

can sit there next to me when I have done nothing but spill my heart out

for you, and tell me that what you told me before was a lie," Rei retorted

bitterly as her voice shook with emotion.

"Would you have looked at me after I told you that I had slept with him? Would

we even be where we are without that simple lie?"

"It doesn't make a difference! You have always _lied_ to me, you lied to me

before about being a leader to the senshi to get me to awaken my powers, and

now you've lied to me about sleeping with a man, but then I should'nt have

been surprised at all, really...you say you lie to help us...to help me, to help

everybody, but you're selfish," Rei cried bitterly as she rubbed the dust out

of hers eyes.

"Rei! That's when I was obsessed with the past life, with my mission,

I had to do what I thought was right. Don't bring up the past just to prove

your point, Rei, this is the now, there is a problem with the present not

the past," Minako retorted qouting Rei for good measure. "I have to admit

it was wrong...that I lied, but be sensible, if I had told you would we be

where we are now? Lies make up my life Rei...I've lied to my agent about

my "vacation", I've lied to Kaijou that I've never loved anyone before him,

and I've lied to you most out of all people, because I love you, and I can't

stand losing you to myself."

Hearing the break in Minako's voice snapped Rei's resolve like a twig,

and reduced her to hanging onto every word that she said, she always

did. Minako had that effect on her, in every way Minako had her wrapped

around her finger, and if Minako ever violated her and hurt her in any way

Rei would've still loved her, and stayed with her, because what else

was love but pain?

and in a show of forgiveness Rei wrapped Minako in a fierce hug trying

to erase her doubt of Minako away in one glance at Minako's face, because

what else could she do, but believe? She wanted to believe that she could

be enough to protect Minako from everything, but you couldn't protect

someone forever, dangers lurked around and everything was eventual.

"Calm before the storm," Minako whispered into Rei's ears as they

embraced unabashedly beneath the open sky, letting their own bodies

overlap each other, trying hard to make up for what the other lacked.


	13. Some Men

**Chapter 13: Some Men....**

"_You find your eyes are growing moist_

_and all the fears never voiced._

_You say you have to make your final choice_

_but who are you and who am I_

_to say we know the reason why?_

_Some are born; some men die_

_beneath one infinite sky_

_there'll be war, there'll be peace_

_but one day everything will cease._

_All the iron turned to rust _

_and all the proud men turned to dust." _

Sunlight shattered through the window, splintering as it refracted

against the glass, bending at an angle into the laps of each girl seated

at the booth. An uncomfortable silence ensued as everyone was in

either disbelief or shock. They continued to stare at each other, until

the sounds of the outside world filtered in, and the aromas of food

cascaded over. There was the sound of frying and children playing

with their food, as everyone looked from Rei to Usagi, and then back

again. Usagi wore a look that was a classic of an escaped convict, or

perhaps...a deer in headlights, as she gulped at Rei's infamous death  
glare.

"Usagi...." Rei said in a dead tone. "When you said..."reservations

at a restaurant" I thought you meant somewhere at least...decent, so

tell me why are we in Mcdonalds?!"

Usagi at Rei's voice jumped a little out of her seat, but only

managed to knock up against Ami as Ami, Minako, and Usagi were

sitting crammed together in one huge seat in the corner of the fast-food

place. Rei was sitting besides Makoto luckily so she wasn't as crowded,

but still the stifling air, and the hubbub of the surrounding customers were

annoying, and also not the place for Ami and Makoto to "patch-up" their

relationship as friends. Minako held back her giggles but they just bubbled

forth, as Makoto herself chortled, and Ami lowered her head to hide the

smile on her face at Rei's reaction. Rei, realizing that the moment had just

been ruined by their laughter grumpily sat down as she refused to dig into

the food that Usagi had ordered, and chose to remain isolated from the

"feast" that was commencing. Minako sensing Rei's reluctance dipped a

fry in ketchup and smeared a line of ketchup down Rei's nose.

"You should'nt be so hard on Usagi, Rei. I know you're not mad," Minako

chided Rei, as Rei made a face, and grabbed a napkin to wipe the ketchup

off her nose.

Ami herself joined in the fun as she also streaked ketchup on Usagi's

nose, as Usagi whined in fury and made a move to streak ketchup on

Ami's, but Ami ended up ducking her head, and the ketchup dripping fry

ended up almost impaling Makoto in the eye, if Makoto had not closed her

eyes in time she would've been blinded. Makoto wiped away the ketchup

on her eye blindly as she also took a fry, but before she even made a

move to do anything with it, Ami had painted an entire ketchup smiley

face on her cheek, and even Rei laughed heartily at Ami's antic. Ami

shyly looked at Makoto, and Makoto smiled heartily back, and they

giggled as Makoto swiped the ketchup off of her cheek with a napkin.

Usagi looked to Rei and did a V sign as she smiled and laughed

jovially along with Makoto and Ami. Rei shook her head in exasperation

as she finger the daises Minako had bought hoping that she would see

Motoki today and get maybe in a few last words, but she had to deal

with the hospital first.

The hospital had always been the reason for all her stress as a

child because she hated the way they smelled and looked, just the

sheer white of the halls scared her, and the sterilizing smell of hand

soap was everywhere. Her mother had died in a hospital and she

was always wary of really what kind of "treatment" they called

life-saving, if they couldn't save her mother or Motoki, what good

were hospitals? But all had to be endured if only for Makoto and

Motoki to at least have their moments of happiness together with

everyone. Rei swiped back a strand of her hair and bit gently into

a fry to calm her nerves.

"Nervous?" Makoto asked noticing Rei's tense posture.

"Yeah..." Rei confessed mutilating the other fry inbetween

the tips of her fingers.

"Don't worry, it'll be awkward talking to Motoki, but he'll still be

the same as ever," Makoto comforted.

"No, it's not that...I just I hate hospitals, I never did good when I

was in one, and I'll only be thinking of a way to get out of there as

soon as I can when I'm in a room especially, a white...stale hospital

room, I just can't see me in that room...just watching Motoki dresed

up like my Mother was, but don't worry I'm sure my fear is nothing

more than something I need to get over," Rei muttered trying to still

the shaking of her hands.

"Are you sure? You could stay outside," Usagi asked worried.

"No! I want to see...Motoki. Don't worry about it, it's just a pet

peeve I have with hospitals," Rei protested nonchalantly as she

felt Minako's foot tap hers questioningly.

Usagi and Makoto still looked at her as if they wanted to say

something else, but they did not voice their concerns, as they

finished up their food as quickly as possible. They were an odd

sight to behold, five grown women squished into a booth with

ketchup stains still remnant on their faces, as even the customers

wrinkled their noses in confusion and gawked. Ami who was

dressed in overalls blushed again as she got the same reaction  
from Rei and the others as they actually took in what Ami was  
wearing. To say that Ami looked childish was an understatement

...she looked ridiculous with a small ketchup stain on the front of

her overalls, and a small stain on her cheek to complete the

"grown baby" look.

"What? I ran out of clothes and had to borrow from my stash

of clothes in my old house....it was the only thing that fit me," Ami

whispered embarassed, as she had thought when she had put the

overalls on that she didn't look half as bad.

Now, Ami was beginning to wonder if she had ever done

anything right these past few days, and bowed her head as

they continued to look at her. It was only until Minako pointed

out that Ami found out what they were actually staring at.

"Ami," now Minako _tried_ to say this with a straight face. "You

have ketchup all over the back of your overalls."

At that, Ami clapped a suprised hand over her behind as her face

lit up until she actually went cherry red, as she muttered something

unintelligeble.

"Oh shoot, Ami, let's go and get you cleaned up!" Usagi

spontaneously shouted out as she grabbed Ami's arm and

started dragging her to the bathroom along with the three

others who tagged along.

"Oh my," Ami moaned under her breath for the third time

again as Usagi with a wad of toilet paper tried to get the ketchup

out of Ami's overalls.

"You know Ami you're really not helping with your death

chant," Rei complained, as she ran back and forth from one of

the bathroom stalls carrying a roll of toilet paper with her.

"It'll leave a stain all right," Makoto said as she poured soap

into the wad of paper that Rei handed to Usagi.

"I doubt this is the cleanest of toilet paper but it'll do, it's not

like it's touching your skin, right?" Rei said trying her best to cheer

Ami up, which she knew she was not good at.

Ami just nodded gravely as she felt like the whole world was

mocking her. She had no luck really, she had to just sit on the spot that

housed a...ketchup hill, and she had to sit there for about 45 minutes and

not notice _anything_.

"It's all right Ami I got a ketchup stain on my skirt too," Minako said as

she noticed Ami's lack of words.

True, Minako did have a ketchup stain on her skirt also, because

she did sit in close proximity to Ami so she had one on the side of her

skirt a small one, but nonetheless it was an eye attraction on the fabric

of the white skirt.

"People these days, they just can't clean up after themselves!" Usagi

growled, as she vigorously seemed to be trying to rub a hole into Ami's

overalls as the stain only sunk in further at her efforts.

"Usagi....you can stop now. It's just overalls after all, they're fairly

old after all," Ami reassured Usagi as she stopped all activities in the

bathroom that was trying to help her, even the woman that was in the

bathroom stall nearest to the door had started chucking toilet paper.

"Yeah, but you'll have to go outside with a stain on your butt," Usagi

protested as she stopped her duties for once.

"That can be easily remedied," Rei said, as she removed her

hooded sweater from her body leaving her only with a t-shirt and

tied her sweater around Ami's waist, making sure that it covered

the stain.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as Ami's stain was covered,

and Ami seemed to have gotten over the embarassment already, as

she looked behind her to see how well Rei's sweater covered it.

"Now that everything seems to have settled down let's say we go

head down to the hospital now to visit Motoki," Minako intervened as

she herself had been scrubbing at her skirt futilely.

"Hear, Hear!" everyone answered to that call and they laughed as

the voice in the bathroom stall nearest to the door screeched out "use

Bleach".

--------------------

White lab coat, white gloves, white dress shirt, white pads....

the doctor ensemble was complete, as the doctor himself leaned

over the pallid form on the hospital bed and checked for a pulse

again. Nothing answered to his fingertips, not even a weak throb,

not any at all.

It was a hard job that he had chosen, he had now become one

of the miscellaneous doctors in a miscellaneous hospital, and he

witnessed death everyday in intensive care, but still it didn't help the

fact that he had regarded this as a special case. Mainly, because the

pretty young woman who was about to become a widow so soon,

while still so young always visited, and he did talk to her a few times,

and he had grown to like her nature, but now here he was on the

opposite ends of the spectrum, he was going to tell her the bad news.

He was going to be the bad guy.

Sighing, he picked up the phone nearest to the bed slowly as he

dialed the number of the next of kin. What was her name? He couldn't

remember her name, but he remembered her face, but that was usual,

he always remembered their hopeful faces...

-----------------

Mamoru tried his best to keep ChibiUsa and Haru entertained, as he

shook the baby rattler many times wondering how Usagi did this everyday,

and manage to stay sane. It was one thing taking care of a baby, but keeping

the baby interested, was another thing. Mamoru felt uncomfortable as he

spooned out some more Gerber Baby peas and fed them to ChibiUsa while

Haru gurgled as he played with his book. Mamoru had volunteered actually

to look after ChibiUsa and Haru while the gals went to go visit Motoki, he too

had visited Motoki, but privately as he didn't want anyone making a fuss of

his comings and goings. What he talked about to Motoki had been private,

and the one thing he loved about Usagi right now, was that she respected

that intimacy of friendship between Mamoru and Motoki, and chose not to

ask or pry.

Sighing, he picked Haru up and patted him on the back trying to do

what Makoto said, to make him burp a few times an hour, as ChibiUsa

looked on in fascination. The ringing of the phone was what attracted

all of their attention as all activity seemed to halt at the tone. Mamoru

with Haru in tow marched over to the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" Mamoru asked promptly.

"Is uh....the lady home?" the voice asked Mamoru sounding unclear

and hesitant.

"No...she's visiting her husband right now. I'll take a message though."

There was a lengthy pause at Mamoru's offering, although Mamoru

could still hear the man breathing, deep breaths into the phone.

"Please deliver this message to her concerning her husband......"

------------------

Usagi had never seen Makoto so happy after she and Ami had

silently repaired their friendship and were talking normally between

each other again, as they flitted around from store to store,

wandering about and wondering what sorts of things to buy for

baby Haru, while on their way to walking to the hospital.

Minako and Rei walked side by side with them as Usagi trailed

behind surveying the work of her genius. Who said she couldn't

scheme things? Giving a satisfactory nod she called to them to

wait for her, and skipped towards them gushing over something

cute she saw in a store they had passed.

Today, the sun was shining and beating down on their backs

as they gaily walked up the streets the hospital in plain view as

Minako had bout a small charm for herself, one that warded off

bad luck, and she bought all of them one too that corresponded

with their favorite colors.

It was at this time that Usagi's cell phone chose to interrupt

with the dial tone of one of Minako's songs "Cest la Vie". Upon

hearing this "classic" everyone smirked and laughed, typical Usagi,

a die-hard fan to the very end. Usagi eagerly flipped open her

cell phone and giggled an airy hello into it.

"Usagi?" Mamoru's voice flooded through the minute speakers.

"Yeah! What's wrong?" Usagi asked wondering why Mamoru's

voice sounded so faint and faraway.

"It's Motoki....he died in the hospital an hour ago, they tried

everything they could to get his heart started again, but it was

no use," Mamoru replied his voice steady, never betraying the

anxiety he felt at breaking the news to Usagi, who would soon

have to break the news to Makoto.

Usagi took a small intake of breath, as she tried to still

her clammy fingers, trying her very best to not just drop

her cell phone. Why? Today had been so perfect, early

in the morning they had helped put together the lunch that

Makoto made for Motoki, all of which was completely edible.

Today was supposed to be a good day, a day where they

would talk with Motoki, and share with him the joys in their

lives, the day where they would forget about his illness,

a day where everything should've been perfect, but

this day like all others, happiness had alluded them once

again, it forced them into a semblence of order, it pushed

upon them false hope, and had awoken them to a new

reality.

"I'll call you later," Usagi whispered weakly into the phone

as Minako and Rei had stopped their walking and waited for

Usagi.

Makoto stopped about 3 steps ahead as she stared at

Usagi. Makoto's eyes could have sliced through Usagi like

daggers as she clenched her fists and frowned.

"Makoto....I...it was Mamoru," Usagi whispered as she tried

to avoid everyone else's scrutinizing gazes.

"Is something wrong with Haru?" Ami asked also confused.

"No....." Usagi stated shutting her eyes tight to control her

breathing and try to gain some courage to look into Makoto's

eyes.

There was a deafening silence as it slowly dawned on

them, but only Makoto stood like a rock as she stared down

at Usagi, but Ami grabbed Rei's hand in shock as she tried

hard to imagine how it was for Makoto right now. Minako

herself had already gotten ahold of it, and looked on in

curiosity at Makoto, and then at Usagi. Rei herself, took a

small intake of breath as her grip on the daisy flowers

loosened, as the daisies threatened to tumble out of her

clammy fingers. The small picnic wicker basket in Makoto's grip

started to tremble unsteadily as Makoto forced a smile.

"Come on guys, let's go to the hospital...Motoki's waiting," Makoto

said shakily as even her voice trembled as she started walking again.

"Makoto!" they all called for her...to her back.

Maybe it was the best thing for them to talk to Makoto's back,

because if it was any other way they would've shed their own tears

of regret, because they had all been waiting foolishly on a good day.

Yet, again did the chance at slim happiness alluded them, and put them

once again in the dark. They could never keep it together, no, not like

this.

"What?" Makoto asked refusing to turn around, not even turn her

head to acknowledge anything.

"We can't go to the hospital!" Rei shouted not caring if people were

giving her strange looks.

"Don't say it! Usagi, Rei, Minako, Ami....please don't say it. Look,

we're almost there, at least give me this much, to see it, to hear it from

_him_. Let me pretend for at least awhile," Makoto pleaded, tears staining

her cheeks already as she swiped them all away, in the midst of her

delirium.

What could they do but follow? If they were to refuse Makoto this,

they would shame themselves as friends, even though they did not

want to hear it, which was opposite from what Makoto felt, but maybe

it was to be expected. Makoto had felt this way before, she had refused

to believe it all, she had refused before that Ami could be evil, that Ami

could turn against a friend, she had to hear it for herself, and here she

was, that same lost girl.

For once, all five of them tread in silence, as people brushed and

passed them by, preoccupied with their own universes that were

swirling around them. There was not one world that they were all

living in, they were living in many worlds, where everyone had a thing

to say about you, and you still felt disconnected.

Ami kept her head lowered down to the ground as Rei proudly

walked besides Makoto, opting to stand by her side, while Minako

walked indifferent to the rest of them, as no pity or sorrow leaked

through. The walk to the hospital was gloomy as the sight of the

white halls lead only to the impending and awaited implosion that

Makoto was going to experience as she roughly shoved aside the

sliding doors.

Eyeing the halls up and down Makoto finally found who she

sought...the doctor clad in white. What was his name? Tsukahara-san.

As soon as his name popped up into her mind she took more

long and purposeful strides.

Tsukahara upon hearing the commotion, only turned his head

up once and patiently awaited Makoto to come to him, as he put his

hands into his coat pockets trying to soothe away his uneasiness.

He checked instead for the three pens he knew he always carried

in his pocket-protector, and rearranged them neatly again as his

fingers twitched for something to do than greet or even look at this

languid beauty. Tsukahara took a small breath as his gaze ascended

up the white tile floor to lay upon the forms of five young women

almost marching towards him.

He cleared his throat before speaking, "...well, hello Ms. Furahata.

We didn't expect you to be here, since we already called your house.

Surely, you have heard the news."

Rei didn't like the way this man was run, it wasn't a burning hatred,

but she disliked his sleazy way of trying to get out of his job. He _chose_

this occupation. Rei would've been sick already of death, she had to

admit, but she wouldn't run away from the responsibility one had to

undertake to be a doctor, not so soon into the game.

Usagi herself winced in dismay as she heard the doctor say

"Ms.Furahata" and not "Mrs. Furahata", but Usagi hoped that, that

would be enough for Makoto to believe the news to be true. So they

could get out of her, before...she didn't know what would happen if

they continued on, only that she wanted to rest her aching head, all

this thinking and feeling was making her hurt everywhere.

Ami could feel the doctor's pain practically emanating from him,

as she looked unabashedly into his eyes as his eyes refused to stay

still, but chose instead to flit across the walls of the hospital. She

clenched her fists silently as Makoto seemed to not take this in as

she should as Ami saw that Makoto had clenched her fists.

Minako stared at this pity of a man as she regarded the others

reactions, this was what she was best at, calculating other's

emotions...but when it came to herself, she was operating blind.

She didn't know what to do at the moment or feel as she eyed

the doctor making him more uncomfortable than necessary.

"I came here to visit my husband," Makoto said softly as

her hands clutched the wicker basket. "I brought lunch."

"Ms. Furahata," Tsukahara sighed his shoulders sagging.

"Your husband has passed away an hour ago, as I said

plainly in my message."

"Yes, well I came here to see him," Makoto replied tersely.

"We are currenlty retaining your husband's body right now,

and I advise you that it is best to see a coroner or an undertaker.

To plan the funeral for your husband...please," Tsukahara stated

monotonously as he looked at Makoto square in the eye.

"Why don't you just come out and say it? Doctors like you shame

yourselves!" Rei interrupted heatedly.

"I really don't see the manner in which you have adressed me

appropriate, what you are to the deceased patient I don't know, but

if you cause a commotion I'll have to be inclined to ask you to leave,

and meanwhile the patient will be held until funeral accomadations

have been made," Tsukahara replied his eyes steeling a little at Rei's

remark.

"...Motoki....his name is Motoki, and you would do well to remember

that name. He wasn't just your _patient_ he was my husband, but thank

you for that cold dose of reality. I think I can continue on, now. When I

come back I will have made the arrangements," Makoto replied bitterly

as the wicker basket in her hand seemed to snap like a twig in her grip.

"...Motoki. Very well, is that all?" Tsukahara repeated the name a bit

coldly as he seemed to think this was a waste of time.

"Yes," Minako said tersely answering for Makoto, wanting to get out

of this hospital before people started noticing.

Rei scoffed and sighed all together as she tried to bite back a

wave of regret inside of her as she watched Makoto slowly turn

away from the doctor...Makoto didn't need to be told about Motoki's

death this way, maybe it would've been easier coming from Usagi's

mouth, then from a harsh one. The five just ambled there not knowing

if it was really okay to go, and then the momentary disillusionment of

life, came to a dead end as Makoto let out a heavy sob that unwound

all their neves.

The wicker basket made a dull thud as all its contents spilled

across the clean white tiled floors as Makoto put her face into

her hands trying her best to control her dry heaves. Makoto sat

on her haunches as she spilled her guts in front of everyone,

and just that shameful feeling of being so pathetic in front of her

friends, made her feel all the more sick.

Ami chose the right time to stride over to Makoto's side and

wrap a protective arm about her, as Rei watched in dismay as

Makoto's brilliant wall of denial crumbled, and Minako herself had

a nostalgic and yet ironic smile on her face as she watched Makoto

with sad eyes.

"Damn it...what was it all for? What the hell was it all for!?" Makoto

rasped heavily as she leaned into Ami for support.

Rei stole a glance at Minako and walked forwad to Makoto  
cradling her head in an embrace as Rei let forth a few tears as

she knew that now Haru would never know his father. So who

would Haru turn to for a father figure? It took a father to show

his son how to be a man, how to act like one, and how to carry

himself. Rei didn't know if they even had the capability, of even

becoming a huge influence on Haru's life, or maybe he would

grow up without knowing how to act, would that be them at

fault? For not being able?

"Well, well, well. How pitiful. A woman of strength and stature

reduced to a wailing widow. How the mighty have fallen," a dry

sarcastic voice picked up Minako's ears as a figure loomed across

the white starch halls.

Kaijou's figure seemed to make the walls darker as his shadow

was cast upon the floor even in the blinding light of hospital electricity.

His presence seemed to put a chill on Makoto's dampening emotions

as she shocked stood up and clenched her fists through tears.

"I thought I told you to leave my family and friends alone!" Makoto

rasped her stature shaking but she stood strong.

"You must know I'm an impatient man and I never take well to

threats, Ms. Furahata," Kaijou said icily, as he spared a passing

glance at Minako, who glared at him in return.

"Makoto, what did this man....do to you?" Minako asked harshly

as her automatic defensive shields fired up again as she steadied

her walls.

"He came by...a-a few days ago, to ask for you, and he threatened

me that if I didn't help him he'd cut the plug on my business, so that I

wouldn't even have money to put Haru through school or even take care

of Motoki in his hour of passing, but I said no...and chased him out, I didn't

think to tell you this...because I...I didn't think you'd want to hear it," Makoto

explained as she steeled herself the protection of her friends at stake.

"Fortunately Minako, I can hurt all your friends...and to think...all of

this is legal," Kaijou said bluntly as he knew he had an upper hand in

the hospital.

"What do you want?" Minako asked acidicly as she tried to control

the boiling of the blood in her veins.

"Oh...nothing, just to check up on Ms. Furahata, and I did have a few

words to say to her husband...of course. Before his death," Kaijou jibbed.

"What did you say to him!" Rei exclaimed in dismay as she too jumped into

action.

"Oh...just many things....something to ease his mind. He couldn't talk

much from the tube in his mouth," Kaijou jeered wickedly, as he enjoyed

seeing Rei flustered even more than he enjoyed torturing the poor souls

that worked with him.

Ami eyes widened at the thought of Kaijou standing over Motoki's

prone form because of all the medical instruments that restricted his

movements and just rubbing it in Motoki's face about what he would

be missing.

"You had to do it didn't you? You bastard....you couldn't give him at

least a peaceful death, you had to let him leave with a troubled heart,

what do you want from me?" Makoto growled, more tears spilling from

her eyes, as she thought of what horrible things Kaijou would've said to

Motoki.

"Hey, I didn't know he was going to die. Must've been the pressure...

it took a toll on his heart. I think you know what I want Ms. Furahata," Kaijou

intoned softly as he stared hard now at Minako.

Minako swallowed slightly as she knew that all this was her fault,

everything was connected, one event lead to another chain of events,

this was no different. Eventually she knew Kaijou would've found her,

or taken it upon himself to scavenge for her in the city, and that thought

neither pleased her or even made her think any higher of him.

"Stop it. We are through Kaijou. I thought you'd know that already

with all the press you've gotten, our relationship has served its

purpose. That's low of you to come here, and mock my friends, and

mock their lifestyles just to throw some petty words at me, or try

to inflict some minute pin prick of pain. Don't play with me Kaijou I am

nobody's toy," Minako spat back at him ready to pounce on his every

weakness that she had observed when she was with him.

Ami stood stock-still as the jeer of words between the supposed

Actor and the Superstar commenced, she felt out of place, but she had

to stay put to be of support. Rei watched this heated argument though

with a new found glory...yes, Minako was with her now, and that was

what stood out farther than the past truth.

"Two can play at that game Minako. It seems you and I are tit for tat,

since I can spoil your image all I want on tabloids and magazines, while

you can only heap on insult after insult without even making a single

blade of grass bend. That my dear, is worthless air being breathed

from your lips," Kaijou waved his hand back and forth as if something

smelled foul under his nose.

"Your words did very little to hurt me Kaijou. They perhaps made

me stronger the only thing our relationship has done for me is actually

two things: teach me the wrong ways to _have _arelationship, and hmm

how to tell exactly the difference between a real man's anatomy, and a

flap of skin," Minako retorted seedily as she gained more confidence

and matched Kaijou blow for blow.

"We are the perfect couple. The entertainment world misses

us. It doesn't have to be about love, you know. I'm just saying come

back to me and I'll spare you a lot of trouble. I know your friends, I

know your family, and I know everything that you've done these

past few weeks. Don't think I can't hurt you in more ways than one,

just because I can't murder everyone of your friends, doesn't mean

that I can't inflict damage," Kaijou whispered low as his voice took

on a more agressive tone.

Minako did not take well to threats, she hated them, especially when

they were full of hot air behind them, but she had that slippery feeling

in her gut that told her that Kaijou wasn't fibbing.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested. I've never been interested, and I

finally know now how foolish I've really been to think that my fame

and popularity would last forever. I've decided now to make a more

harder influence in the lives of my friends, then just an "observer",

and I've neglected them horribly I must admit, but I plan to make up for

that," Minako replied her anger dissipating as she knew that if she

let Kaijou know her hatred for him it would only fuel him.

"I'll make you interested...I can't believe you're wasting your time

with these...people. Ordinary, their lives are simply repeats of another

day, like carbon copies, they're nothing compared to our lives. We could

go to exotic places Minako, I could take you anywhere you'd want to go,

and you'd never be unhappy or bored," Kaijou made his offer bluntly

as he took out a small box in his pocket. "Marry me, and your friends

will be safe, and everyone will be happy in the end."

Even Usagi's eyes widened at the sight of the ring, as the diamond

on it glinted in the light, and cast almost ocular hues on Kaijou's face, as

he smiled snidely. Rei felt a surge of protectiveness flow over her as she

treaded over silently to Minako's side to grab her arm. She didn't care if

Minako didn't even acknowledge her touch, but she had to tell Minako that

she was here...that she was actually breathing, because the way Minako

was looking at Kaijou was one of faraway nostalgia.

"Even if you were to take me to exotic places, you'd never be able to

fill the empty gaping space in my soul, really, you should know that I am

not easily won over by extravagant gifts. Stop your pursuit of me...I am

already taken," Minako steeled herself as she did feel Rei's touch on her

arm, all the more reinforcing her resolve to live her life her way, the way

she wanted it.

At the mention of Minako being "taken" Makoto, Usagi, and Ami all turned

curious and disbelieving looks in Minako's and Rei's direction, as they all

knew the only person Minako was even seen consistently with, was with

Rei. Rei gave them a firm and silent nod as proof, and Usagi smiled briefly

whispering to herself that "she knew it", and then turned her attention to

Kaijou; who had closed the lid to the box holding the ring, with a resounding

snap.

A look of pain briefly flitted onto Kaijou's features as he took this all in,

but it quickly turned into one of anger, as rage flickered in his brown eyes.

His eyes darted from Rei's grip on Minako's arm, to Minako's ambigous poker

face, and everything clicked, he was good at making things click. Kaijou

knew perfectly well his own cunning and deceptive prowess as he put

a damper on his emotions before he said something that would give Minako

the upper hand. Minako and he had played these spitting games before,

and he knew well her weaknesses and strengths, more than she did

herself.

"Well, well....you've turned lesbian after you couldn't have me? After

I had desecrated you? Pathetic. I didn't know the Senator's daughter was

a raging homosexual though, I must be sure to talk to him about that, and

soon. I guess it must be true Senator Hino and his daughter do share one

common thing, their fickle womanizing, and seductive, and slippery ways.

Dead beats....is all I can say," Kaijou scoffed, shaking his head in a mock

display of humor.

"Don't you label me you know nothing!" Minako hissed, angry that Kaijou

would drag Rei and Rei's private affairs into this.

"My relationship with my father is none of your business, and if

you're so angry about Minako being with me, you should be ashamed,

but I have to thank you, ever since you let her go I've been with her,

and you can say anything you want about me, but the fact of it is

you lose," Rei taunted Kaijou as she had, had enough of his

over-blown ego.

"Relationships in the political business are all technical tactics

of warfare in your father's field Ms. Hino. Anything you do reflects

on him, and this is war, and everything's fair. To stay in the game

you have to keep changing tactics, and if I have to stoop to the

lowest level to get what I want, then so be it...you've brought

this on yourself," Kaijou parried Rei's insult craftily as he knew

just which buttons to press until the climax.

"I could give Minako more than you ever did!" Rei snapped,

losing her cool and her grip on the control of the battle of wits, as she

did as Kaijou expected her to do.

"Really? You mean you've given her lies to eat up as an illusion of

safety? How amusing. You say you're keeping her safe, giving her

what she needs, but you don't know what she needs. Your relationship

is new, fresh and raw, Hino...you have no control and you know it,

because all you've been lying on is a bed of needles, a bed of lies,

tell her...the truth, or are you afraid also? The pure hero vision you've

given to her is a lie....tell her how you lied to her about my message...

how you _hid_ it deep in the recesses of your shrine. How you _feared_

for the existence of your fragile relationship, at even the silhoutte of my

shadow sent pangs of jealousy through your heart. Tell her how you

_lied_ about its existence," Kaijou smoothly executed the killing blow

with ease as he watched in glee as Minako's expression turned to

one of confusion and denial.

Makoto couldn't call this a lovers' spat, for all she knew Minako had

broke all connections with Kaijou a week before, and she really didn't

know this "Kaijou", but he had done enough for her to realize that he

was a cruel and calculating man who used who he wished for the

means to his end. They all knew that Rei had fell for his bait, and

had swallowed it whole, and now they were waiting for the damage

report.

Ami bit her lip as she realized another rift had just been cast

between the five again as Minako turned her head in shock towards

Rei in question. Minako's eyes pleaded the impossible, as she tried

to believe that Kaijou was bluffing that this was all just one bad

dream, and she would wake up in the morning next to Rei.

"I-It's true Minako....I only did it because I thought it was just

bad news for you, in that state, and I wanted to keep you. I

didn't think you'd want to see Kaijou again, but it was only to

protect you. H-He's bad business!" Rei confessed, as she

wracked her mind for all the reasons Artemis had presented

her that night, as her muddled mind had agreed with him.

"W-why tell me this now? Because...Kaijou brought it up? I

thought...we were past this," Minako breathed the words from

her lips as she felt faint, almost as if her limbs were made of

paper, and the slightest wind would blow her away.

"Minako...." Rei's voice was oddly strangled at this point.

"I...it was the right thing to do. You were drunk and not in the

right state of mind, you would've done something reckless! Like

gone to meet someone like _him_. I didn't want you hurt again,

I tried to protect you."

"Protect me...." Minako echoed, almost as if this whole current

situation they were in was a joke, and only she got the punchline.

"Protect her or cage her?" Kaijou applied now his finesse as

he pushed the envelope further.

Rei glared daggers at Kaijou as she realized that this man was the

antithesis of all her reasoning, this man was the beginning of all her

troubles, and this man had just set her up perfectly for the fall. In any

other situation, Rei would've resorted to hashing him out with her

refined expertise of curses, but she doubted that it would make a

difference.

"Don't worry, Minako dear, everyone lies. Most of them lie to

do so to get into your pants, and some lie to hold your heart onto

a string. Is this the kind of perfect relationship you have, seems

like your expectations run low. Well, as soon as your dear _lover_

forks over the message, I will await, till then I'll see you on the dark

side of the moon," Kaijou threw Minako's words back at her as

he gloated to himself that he had dealed a critical blow already

so early in the game.

All that was left was the pieces to fall in, and he strode out of

that hospital much like his grand entrace, quietly but with refined

grace like a thief at market, smooth and elusive, and what was

left of the aftermath was five confused women.

---------------

Ami stared back and forth at the palpable tension between Rei

and Minako, as if a silent fuse had just been lit, and they were all

waiting for the explosion...the boom at least, but she could tell this

was one of the silent wars without words that had commenced.

Makoto's hands scrambled across the tiled floors to pick up

the items that had fallen out from the wicker basket as she swiped

away her tears angrily as she had just remembered her priority to

Haru. If Kaijou even tried to put a finger on him she would not let him

live to see the light of day. Fumbling with the wicker basket, she

walked over and shoved the basket into Rei's hands, as she looked

at Minako with a sort of fear that had never even crossed her face

before.

"Eat it. I know you can't cook Rei," Makoto mumbled as she wiped

her runny nose on her sleeve and looked at Minako again.

Minako didn't even have to ask why, because the look on Makoto's

face said it all, she knew what Makoto would ask of her.

"You...want me to stay away for awhile...right?" Minako muttered

to herself as she let loose a hollow laugh.

"If you can...it's not like I don't like you, I do! It's just I think it'd be

best if you...we didn't have any contact for the new few weeks," Makoto

explained weakly as she saw the look in Minako's eyes.

"Don't worry it's natural to fear for your child and yourself," Minako

waved Makoto's unspoken apology away and nodded her off.

"Ami-chan, Rei-chan, Usagi-chan," Makoto said quickly, as she

power-walked to the exit of the hospital hoping to run home as quickly

as possible, and hold him.

"So even...Makoto fears me," Minako scoffed with ease as she

seemed to float towards the exit until she put a hand on Usagi's

shoulder and turned her head towards Ami. "Usagi...Ami if you

guys want me to stay away, you don't have to ask. You don't

have to get involved with me."

Usagi upon hearing that, knocked Minako a little upside the head

with an open palm, as she frowned at Minako.

"What are you talking about, stupid? Ami and I are your friends

and friends stick together no matter what! Cept...Makoto's an exception

but Kaijou will have to do more than that to scare us!" Usagi exclaimed

vehemently.

Ami nodded at that as she put a comforting hand on Minako's

shoulder also, and Minako had the slight ghostliest of smiles on her

face, and she nodded solemnly.

"Cheer up..." Ami whispered as Minako and Rei also walked to

the exit, thinking it best if they left seperately from the way they came.

Usagi rubbed her head in irritation as she knew that Kaijou had called

her many times before, and she hadn't really taken his threats seriously

until now, and to her Kaijou seemed overly obsessed with Minako. Even

she, an avid fan did not act the way he did. Usagi hated to admit it, but

she did have a small tint of fear towards him now, and wondered if he

really could do what he had said, and briefly she seemed to regret...no

she couldn't! She was supposed to be a friend to Minako, she couldn't

abandon her...abandon Rei.

Fear was something Usagi had been known to have, but now this

fear seemed more real, and Ami felt the same. They were not heroes

anymore, they were normal everyday average joes, and whatever

reckless bravado they had posessed once before, had been flushed

away by the mediocre of suburban life. Usagi wouldn't have been

surprised if Minako confessed that she couldn't kick someone through

a wall again ever. It was a feeling in her bones, perhaps, a slow sinking

feeling as if her body was being tied down by stones, and the only way

to properly breathe was to take in slow sips of air through her nose.

Ami tried desperately to calm her spirits as she recognized that

look on Usagi's face after Minako and Rei left, and she tried her best

to keep her feelings under wraps, as she reined in her thoughts.

_"Don't panic Ami. All good men and women turn to dust in due time. _

_It's natural for it to fade." _

But as Ami watched Usagi's skepticality her mind provided another

sarcastic remark for her to dwell on.

_"and soon all others will follow suit...." _


	14. The Turning Away

**Chapter 14: The Turning Away**

_"On the turning away from the pale and downtrodden_

_and the words they say, which we won't understand_

_"don't accept what's happening,_

_is just a case of another's suffering_

_or you'll find that you're joining in the turning away."_

_It's a sin that somehow light is changing to shadow_

_and casting it's shroud over all we have known_

_unaware of how the ranks have grown_

_driven on by a heart of stone,_

_we could find that we're all alone in the dream of the proud." _

She fiddled with her hands, with the fabric of her sweater,

and with the hair in her eyes, but even that did not bring a response

from the now mute Minako. They had walked home in silence, silence

that Rei had welcomed after the awkward hospital confrontation, but

now she found it unbearable as even she could hear the minute ticking

of her watch, as Minako unloaded the food from the wicker basket.

Rei had expected Minako to explode, or at least say _something _

when they had gotten home, but she still found silence as the answer.

She didn't know what to do. At times they had worked things out with

arguing, but now the lack of communication just added to the tension

that rested on Rei's consciousness now, and Minako didn't even show

her that she was even the slightes bit angry, or resentful. Rei knew this

act well, it was the "silent treatment", or something along those lines, as

even the air in the room made more noise then they did.

"Umm...so we're eating picnic foods for dinner, hmm, sounds like

a nicer alternative then what I'd make. What exactly are we eating?" Rei

spoke out, her voice the strangest thing to her at that moment.

Minako just looked up, just once and briefly, but Rei caught the flutter

of her eyelashes, and then Minako proceeded to occupy herself with

the contents of the wicker basket....again.

Rei wanted to scream, she wanted to upstage the wicker basket,

and let its contents spill and shatter, and splatter for all she cared, just

as long as there were no more distractions for Minako to make an excuse

for. This silence was unnerving, she didn't know why she had welcomed

it in the first place in substitute for an argument, but now she was paying

the price.

Just as Rei's tension started to peak, Minako slammed the fridge door

quite aggressively as she swiveled around to face Rei...thank the stars...

or not. Rei could tell this period jump between quiet and loud was

consequential, and she prepared for the brunt of all Minako had to

say, curses, reprimands, or just plain gibberish, Rei would take it. She

had to. It was one thing for Kaijou to spill her guts, but if was another

to have Kaijou say that after Rei had just argued to Minako in a park,

about keeping secrets, and telling lies between them. In her mind her

words were now hypocritical and she knew it. Ironically her thoughts

didn't fall on deaf ears as Minako spoke.

"I want the message Kaijou gave me," Minako demanded, as she tried

her very best to keep her voice from spiking up in terms of intensity.

"Why do you need it? He's a jackass...and I'm hungry," Rei had meant

the first few words, but now literally she was taking the words from

out of nowhere, as she obstenously tried to oversimplify the problem.

"Hmm...you and him do have something in common then," Minako

replied frostily as she put aside the wicker basket to make a sandwich

for herself.

"I'm not the one that looks like a donkey then," Rei muttered finding

her response funny, but it was nothing to laugh at.

"Rei. I need to look at it just for..." Minako stopped there.

"Just for what? Just for you to immediately regret being with me

enough to run back to him? Or did you already pass that phase on

the way home?" Rei cut in bitterly, as all the little pinpricks of jealousy

returned once again to assault her.

"No...I'm just curious that's all. It has to be something important, and

I have to get it settled, you don't know Kaijou. Once he says he'll do

something he'll stick to it and see it through, he's the type of man that

won't stop at anything," Minako replied seemingly deflated as if all

her anger was like a passing shadow.

The conversation with Kaijou must have had more effect on Minako

then Rei thought as she didn't recieve the same scathing reply at all.

Breathing a sigh, Rei watched the hazy glow of candle-light the only

substitute for electricity in the shrine, and sighed again.

"Why are you so afraid of him? Why can't you just let him say

what he wants to say?" Rei asked as the first signs of rain was

in the air as all she seemed to breathe in was moisture.

"It isn't about my reputation, it's about Makoto's safety, it's about

Usagi and Ami's safety, it's about yours," Minako replied, tapping

her fingers against the counter, the monotonous noise issuing a

full-frontal attack on Rei's frontal lobes.

Rei let out a sigh again, this hadn't gone as planned, Minako was

supposed to forget about Kaijou and all her troubles, not find out in

the worst possible way, and here Minako was trying her best not to

let things fall apart. Rei felt guilty that she didn't tell, maybe if she had

said it then would Minako have paid no heed to Kaijou's message, but

now with the threat of their security looming over them, Minako was

as dedicated as ever.

Rei tried relinquish her anger as the candles seemed to sway softly

against the breeze that blew droplets of water across Rei's neck as

they had left the shrine door wide open.

Minako smiled ghastly at that, and made her way to the sliding doors

and shut it, for privacy against the rain brewing outside, but now even

that distraction seemed to be on purpose as Rei fought for anything, but

the words never came, never filled the void that had been carved out

and hollowed between them. What was left to say? They were caught

on both sides of the fence. Minako lied, but she had lied also so did that

make everything they had done so far to better improve their relationship,

just another runaround? Was everything just null now in their love? It

felt like it was ending really more than it was beginning, more than anything

Rei wanted to erase Kaijou away like some bad dream, and she wanted

to see...Minako think of no one else but her. She wanted to know the darker

sides of Minako's pysche and really delve deep, not just know the surface,

she wanted to know all the dirty things that Kaijou knew, and she wanted

to know them well.

If Minako could be painted in black and white, Rei could've only paint

the white of Minako and not the black, white was the color that everyone

saw, white was the color that Minako showed her, white was all that she

gave to Rei. Innocence, the most clean slate that she had ever seen, and

little white lies sprinkled over another lie and another.

"...I'll go and get it...." Rei replied weakly as she shoved herself off her

chair.

Rei was stopped though by a warm pressure on her back, and arms

around her waist as she turned to maybe run to the comfort of her room,

and not have to ever face this turn of the tables problem again, but Minako's

impromptu hug made her speechless. Her mouth suddenly dry and yet

it didn't scream for any liquid at all, it felt good not knowing the words to

say so often, it was a calming effect that seemed to jitter her out of her

timid state.

"I love you...you know that, right? I'm not mad at you because you

lied, but I'm more mad at myself that I couldn't help or keep you from

having_ to _lie," Minako murmured, hoping that all feeling didn't sap away

from Rei.

It was a moment before Rei even knew that she had a voice to speak

with as she got her tongue untied. Right now, despite the rain and the

wind now practically pouding on the shrine, it seemed like everything

was too quiet, too muted, and she couldn't help but let her dissapointment

show, couldn't help but let slip her neediness.

"Love....then tell me, why are you so afraid of him? Minako we were

once Sailor Senshis...we could fight Youma twice Kaijou's size, and the

destruction of the world, and yet, you tell me you're still afraid of him?

What can he do that the dark kingdom hasn't?"

It took a second before Minako pulled away, and even that second

painfully slipped away, as she released Rei's body for cold air.

"The dark kingdom didn't concentrate on matters of the heart," Minako

simply put, as another harsh breeze rocked the foundation of the shrine,

making the ceiling groan.

"Why can't you tell me about?" Rei asked as she watched wax melt

off the candles and burn into the incense pot beneath.

"Rei...I need my space," Minako replied softly.

"No! There shouldn't be a space...there shouldn't even be a need for

space, there shouldn't be space between the people you love, your

family. You don't keep secrets!" Rei protested.

"Rei, this is my life! I have to have...my personal...memories away.

I can't keep it all together Rei, and it just...I have to have this one memory

of a time in my life to myself. I never ask you about your father, or about

your mother," Minako explained, her eyes speaking volumes, as they

widened briefly in a small show of pain.

"I would've told you...if you had asked me to. What about your past

is so shameful and decimating? Tell me," Rei demanded.

"Please...don't force me. You have to trust that I will tell you someday,

and that you'll still want to hear things from me, and that we'll still be

the same, because I really do hope when I tell you things about my

past that you won't think any differently of me," Minako tried to

talk her way out of this.

"I've never treated you any different. What makes you think something

would change it?" Rei asked petulantly.

"Rei.....I don't think you get the point," Minako said exasperated.

"I get the point! I just-I wonder sometimes who I've fallen in love with.

Have I...fallen in love with everyone else's Minako, the Minako that you

show to others, the Minako that they're so used to seeing? Or have I

fallen in love with Aino Minako Superstar, the centerpiece of tabloids

and magazines? I don't know all your faces, I don't know any of your

secrets, and I can't see any side of you than the ones you've publicly

shown," Rei exclaimed trying to find what it was that was bothering

her.

Then there was silence, it was sickening, Rei hated the silence and

what it seemed to imply, that Minako could no longer find the words to

reply. Rei hated giving up the things she had fought so hard to keep,

but here she was now about ready to unveal Kaijou's message to

Minako, Rei never liked losing, and here she was giving up without

a fight, why? Because truth was a whisper, a whisper that had

damn well been loud in her life, ever since her mother died it had

always been next to her. She could see truth...

Her father's truth? Work. His escape a place where he could get

his mind off of the daughter he abandoned, and forget about the wife

he had lost. Minako's truth? She didn't want to share it, why? Now, why

had always been hard for Rei to comprehend, and even now after

years she still couldn't understand her father's unconscious choice

of work over his own wife's last moments. Minako...was trying so

hard just to hide the fact that she was ashamed of her truth, and

that shame wrought deeper until she didn't _know_ what she was

trying to hide, but Rei wouldn't mind, she swore in her mind that

she wouldn't, but now she bit her tongue and tried to wash back

that wave of disappointment, in herself and this half-baked

relationship.

This was a nightmare, their love was a nightmare, and only now

could Rei admit it to herself silently as the rain poured down hard,

and made pouding rhythms on the rooftop, that coincided with the

unsteady rhythm of her heart. Aino Minako Superstar, Aino Minako

devoted Senshi of Venus, Rei couldn't differentiate them anymore,

everything was swimming in her mind and she just drifted, not

walked but drifted as she listlessly went into her room and grabbed

the newspaper she had hidden so carefully from the recesses of it.

As soon as Rei got back she heard the heated argument between

Artemis and Minako, as Artemis she heard was trying his best to stop

Minako, in a last chance to destroy the article. Minako upon hearing

Rei enter turned her head and then her eyes caught onto the newspaper

in Rei's hands and locked on.

_"Let her go back to him then...."_Rei uttered in her mind but immediately

regretted that though as her anger seemed to be fluctuate, flitting

between people as she seemed to be angry at Artemis for one

moment then Minako, and then Kaijou, then at herself.

"Minako!" Artemis pleaded again as his eyes widened to dinner plates

as he saw what Rei held out in her hands.

Minako shakily grasped her hand around the binding of the newspaper

as she spared a glance at the cover story, and her mouth did a little 'o' of

surprise as her eyes darkened once again with something Rei couldn't

recognize, it could've been fear. The temperature around the three had

dropped when Minako's clammy hand had made contact with the Kaijou's

offering, and now only the pitter patter of rain could be heard over the din,

and Rei chose that time to turn away.

"R-Rei!" Minako stuttered.

Here it was, here it came, Minako was going to ask her to stay, and

how could she refuse? When had Rei never tried to impress or please

her? When had she ever thought of once to leave Minako alone...

"One day...I'll tell you all everything about me, but for now let's continue

like this, together. I know...it's a nightmare, but no one said it was easy. It

always gets harder, not because we are not senshis anymore, but we

have more to lose," Minako said.

"You say, I say, everybody has their own say about everything, but

that doesn't stop the fact that we still are senshis! Inside of us there still

lives a part of Mars, a part of Venus that still lives within. Who cares if

we have more to lose now? We can't stand by like helpless dolls as

our lives are taken in the hands of others! I refuse to believe that Kaijou

can do half of the things he says he can do, we can fight back Minako...

don't open his message, don't even think about him. Ordinary life, well

shit! We had to deal with trying to have an ordinary life when we were

senshis why can't we control our lives now?" Rei protested as the

lump in her throat got bigger and threatened to have her choke on her

own words.

"It isn't about controlling our lives, it's about protecting the people

that mean so much to us, it's about my privacy and yours, your father

might be burned by this Rei," Minako defended herself heatedly. "Don't

you care what happens to him? He is your father."

"I don't give a flying fuck!" Rei replied irately.

Rei had, had enough of excuses, enough of why they were

just standing by and letting Kaijou screw them over like this,

something had to be done, all this stuff could't be legal. Kaijou

was practically stalking Minako, calling up everyone of them and

threatening them, that had to be good grounds for an eviction.

"We have to...hold onto whatever we can. I want to hold onto

you, and I can't do this without your help, but if you want to give in

without a fight, then I guess there really isn't that much left to say.

There's a really slim chance that I'll see you again in the morning

after this, you know since you're not the one for formal goodbyes...

well....night," Rei sighed as she ruffled her hair and proceeded to

sleep away the rain, there was nothing else she could do, nothing

that would help Minako.

Minako couldn't find any more words or the strength to call Rei

back again, Rei was right, and Minako knew it. Rei still posessed

the spirit that was in her, the spirit of Mars that refused to be beaten

so easily, and refused to grovel before the likes of Kaijou. Minako

admired it in Rei, she admired the fact that against all odds Rei was

unimpressed with whatever was thrown at her.

Rei held a belief that everything good would right out the bad, that

there had to be some good left in this world, but that good was left

to the children, not the adults that were "breeding" this world to be

left to the next generation. Naivete...that was it, a simple beauty sculpted

in stone, unwavering faith and loyalty to those around her. Minako

screamed inside at that side of Rei, a side that managed to show itself

more than once, and had irked Minako to no end.

This was...their time given, Kaijou would not stall and give them

anymore time, and she knew that Kaijou would be on the phone in

the next few days talking to Senator Hino about his daughter, and

that was something Minako could not allow. If anything, Rei still

retained her honor, her dignity and grace. If this got out, Minako

would hate to see the face of the Hino Household recieve yet

another crippling blow, even more disasterous then when the

media had found out about Senator Hino's failure in trying to

"reassaociate" with his daughter's life, and really the only thing

right that Senator Hino did, was the dinner interviews. Those

dinner interviews were short enough for the media not to catch

on to the awkward air, and not catch Senator Hino stumble over

what topics to discuss with his adolescent daughter, but Minako

could easily tell that he knew squat about his daughter.

Really, was Rei trying to be oblivious to the fact that Minako had

_tried_ to evict Kaijou from her life, or did Rei just suffer from informational

media dehydration, because every time he pulled off such a good act in

court that it was blown off, as the jury called it a familiar "lover's spat".

Many were the times that Minako had dragged Kaijou off to court, and

many were the times she had lost to, and now she didn't even bother

trying, even though she now had witnesses to aid her side. It wouldn't

make a difference, he'd put on a different act more dramatic, he was

more slippery than an eel. He had won over Senator Hino's allies, and

even aided Senator Hino in his times of desperate need, and he had

even earned the right to offer Senator Hino advice on how to run

his politics. Kaijou had the word "pretending" down to an art.

_"Really, you don't have to love me, we can just pretend, we stars_

_could help each other out. We can pretend until they can no longer_

_discern fact from truth, we'll play it on till it never ends..." _

Kaijou's first words to her when she had met him mocked her. How

true his words were, they had gotten so caught up in pretending Minako

could no longer break off contact with him easily without getting unwanted

publicity, she had been getting even fan-mails asking her when Kaijou

would pop the question, and inbetween pretending and reality he had

srummaged through her life even though she had repeatedly told him

not to. She doubted that he would find anything interesting, but she

still wouldn't put it pass him.

Minako eyed the newspaper in her hands and looked down at Artemis.

"Why did you hide this?" Minako asked.

"What does it look like I was trying to do?" Artemis asked her.

"Protecting me....but these thing's can't be avoided. They have to

be confronted, sooner or later, this is my life Artemis you shouldn't

lie to me about things concerning it, I have finally been able to live

like I want why don't you trust me to make the decisions?" Minako

ragged Artemis out.

"I trust you!....I just wanted to make the least of a difference,

to do something for you, at least buy you a small amount of happiness

until Kaijou showed his face up again," Artemis retorted his eyes

squinting together.

"You know...I can't stop this. Every event triggers another, I can't

shame Rei's name, and I can't protect Makoto when I'm not looking over

Kaijou's shoulder," Minako spoke softly and stroked Artemis' back.

"Minako...I will always follow you, until the very end, and I trust

in what you do. You're not a kid anymore, so take care of yourself," Artemis

said ruefully as he trotted over to Rei's room to curl up tonight for

some sleep as he knew Minako wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

As soon as Artemis's trotting steps were far away from Minako's

ears, Minako cast her gaze once again on the newspaper in her hands,

as she took several deep and agonizing breaths. It was a picture of

her when she was thirteen, when she had just gotten into the senshi

business, but chose to do so as Sailor V. Fighting against crime and

doing it in style, at that, Minako smirked at the child-like photograph

of her pixelized on the newspaper. Calming her trembling thoughts

again she opened the newspaper and gasped aloud when out

tumbled a familiar red mask....

-------------------

Makoto refused to leave the phone on the hook as she knew

that someone would call her again to try to offer condelences but

right now she didn't need them. Rubbing her palm against her forehead

as she rocked Haru again since the last phone call had awoken him,

she wondered how news got around so fast, and why people she

had hardly ever known were calling to tell her how sorry they were

for her loss. People she had known only briefly since high school,

started calling her reminiscing on how she had helped them in the

past, and she couldn't really just out and tell them that she didn't

remember them, so she had to sit through many tearful stories

of pain, grief, and finally revelation as the static of her telephone

gave her a headache.

She'd rather be alone right now, to dwell in her thoughts, but not

to mope because she knew Motoki would be angry at her if she did,

but more to collect her spirit, and try to draw power from that little

spark inside of her. That spark that had once been Jupiter, she needed

it now more than ever, because they were faced in dire times. Queen

Serenity would not appear to them like before, no this was the present's

problem, and Queen Serenity would be of no help, because there was

a problem with their situation not the world. As long as the world was

safe, their problems were minute, they still had that responsibility to

survive and protect their way of life. A dead way of life, the senshi

way, never give up.

Makoto flexed her arm unconsciously, tracing her arm with her finger

to find even the least bit of muscle on the outline of her arm, as Haru had

fallen asleep against her. As she knelt to put him in his crib she kissed

his brow softly as she whispered to him a goodnight, and tucked the

covers underneath his chin. So much to lose... when she was still

Jupiter she had nothing to lose, her parents had died and no one

lived with her, she was practically free to go about what she wanted,

but she had hoped so achingly for _something_ to lose...and now in her

20's she had gotten her wish, but she didn't want to _lose_ this. She

wanted to keep her family by her side, they were the community

in which she grew into, they were beings that nurtured her from a

young teen to a woman, even though they had gone their seperate

paths before, they were together now. She wanted to keep that, but

she knew she had to go back to her old ways to get that, she had to

_be_ Jupiter.

Mourning rites were over, and if the people dared to give a shit

they wouldn't be calling at this hour and disturbing her sleep, at least

that's what Makoto thought as she cracked her knuckles to herself.

A determined look was set in her eyes as she vowed to get to the

bottom of this, Kaijou had hurt Motoki and most of all he had impended

on their security and safety, no bastard could get away from this.

There had to be something that Makoto could do. She would get no

sleep tonight, but she was going without a fight, Usagi, Rei, Ami,

and Minako meant too much to her than sleep.

So, lo she sat thrumming her fingers onto her thighs as her mind

forumalated and crumpled plans, and started the whole process again

as the moon above her waned, and the rain fell in a hard drizzle, but

it was a sound barely registered in her mind, and the storm and

thunder clashed together, but she was used to it, she knew this

element by heart, it neither scared her nor caused her any anxiety.

She sat and tried to rely on her brain to think things through, but

she was not that very informational on legal matters if it didn't concern

emancipation, and she couldn't call Ami at this hour, so she relied

on heart to tell her what to do, as she listened more closely to the

rain making a small tune against the windows. Her heart was

uncharted territory, but she had roamed this road one too many

times with Motoki, and the seperation of the Senshi when Ami

was Dark Mercury so she looked there, the only place left

to look, and she tried to ignore the nagging voice that seemed

to interrupt her thoughts, and treaded into the unknown to find

yet again a person that she could drawn on for strength, and

she relied solely on the blood veins that helped run her body

to help her sort through this mess....and the disturbing rhythm

of the rain spoke whispers only to her in the dim of the night...

_Eat your heart out Makoto..._

-----------------------

Usagi blew air from her lips in frustration as Makoto's phone

still had a busy signal after she had called for about ten times

at different intervals and she still didn't pick up. That alone

should've probably proved to the vibrant mother that Makoto

really didn't want to talk to anyone right now, but only increased

her worries, what if Makoto didn't take the grief very well? What

if Makoto out of self-pity....no it wasn't good to think of it! It would

jinx and curse them all! Stupid Usagi...stupid Usa....Usagi thought

as she knocked her own forehead with her fist as she picked

the phone up to dial again, but then a hand brought the phone

back down onto the reciever.

"Mamoru!" Usagi whined as he looked down on her with a

stern look.

"Stop it....nothing's wrong she probably doesn't want to talk

right now, you should know her better, she'd never leave Haru

behind, it's time you got some sleep," Mamoru said as he moved

the telephone far away from Usagi's clutches.

"B-but...I have to do something to help, at this rate everybody's

going to be so far apart! And I told you what happened to Makoto and

Kaijou," Usagi whined desperately pleading with him to at least just

let her call the shrine.

"Usagi...there's nothing more we can do but wait. Didn't Ami already

tell you that she was going to look it up? Why do you need to pressure

yourself even more, we have to wait. We can't go against Kaijou in a

court of law if Minako won't say anything, and I doubt she will since

you have read that she tried to get him evicted before, and they still

blew it off. Kaijou hasn't been doing anything erratic or unusual in his

behavior they have no choice but to let him go free, it's more complicated

then that to prove him guilty," Mamoru sighed explaining once again why

they were waiting instead of doing something.

"Darn it....why can't we just have Rei Youma Taisen him? That

would be so much faster, and easier too! That way he won't bother

Minako and Rei anymore," Usagi pouted and said that as she removed

lint off her jacket.

"Youma Taisen? I doubt she can do that anymore, Usagi, and

we have to learn to solve things the right way, by talking Usagi,

not violence," Mamoru chuckled at Usagi's silly way of trying

to relieve stress.

"Yeah, but Rei's still a shinto priestess! Can't she do warding

spells? Can't she just you know...stick some warding spells all

over Minako and have her walk around like that, so whenever

Kaijou is around he has to stay 3 meters away?" Usagi whined

humorously.

"I think those warding spells are kinda dangerous...if they did

work wouldn't you think Rei would've done that to Minako already?

Sheesh, lack of sleep has killed your brain go to sleep Usagi!" Mamoru

chuckled again as he dragged her away from the telephone and into

their bedroom.

"B-but! One more call...pleeeeaaaasseee...!"

------------------

(Hikawa Shrine)

Minako made her way down the hall, and avoided bumping into

Artemis who had curled up into a fetus form as he snoozed away,

and made little happy sounds of satisfaction as he seemed to be

chasing something in his dreams. Smirking, she tickled his nose a little,

and tread softly into the pitch dark room, and just upon entering she

fumbled and tripped on Rei's discarded sleeping bag, but the lump

underneath the futon bed sheets a foot away from her did not stir.

Tiptoeing to the foot of the futon, she nudged the bed sheets up

a little, so her slim fingers could get a good grip around the sheets,

and lift them up so she could sidle in. The blankets were cold to the

contact against her skin as she shivered against the chill, and winced

a little as the wind pounded on the starkly silent room, which made

the rain outside even more foreboding as Minako huddled against

Rei for a little warmth. Rei made a small noise, but chose or was

too sleepy to roll over and acknowledge Minako at all, so Minako

lay there shivering down to her toes.

That's when insomnia started settling in as Minako noticed many

things she didn't notice about the room before, like how everytime the

thunder flashed the room would be highlighted with a white feverish

glow, and how it highlighted the strands of her hair. Then her mind

roamed thinking....well thinking about where she and Rei stood, after

opening that newspaper...no. It was best not to think about it, not

until...well until the end when everything crumbled.

Had it been the right thing? To get involved like this, to love like this,

and to care at all, in the end Kaijou still came to haunt her. It was her

fault, Minako said to herself as she clutched at the edge of the blanket,

and spoke her thoughts out to no one, and chose to not bother Rei

right now, even with her problems. Rei had been fine before she

had asked for help, and Rei couldn't be this happy about their

relationship, not while they were still arguing every day of the week.

The more Minako thought on the subject the more she thought

it'd make sense if she just left early in the morning, without a word

maybe just look back at Rei, and press a kiss onto her forehead

and be off, maybe that was all she needed. Maybe it'd be best

if she said her goodbyes when Rei wasn't listening, so she

wouldn't hurt, but it was a stupid thing to think that Rei wouldn't

be devastated by her selfishness.

Selfish....yes. She called it selfishness now, what else could it be?

She found no other way, and she had let it continue like this, all the

while she thought of nothing but her own happiness, she didn't think

how this would hurt everyone around her. She didn't think because

she was blinded by happiness, and drowning in the sheer glory of

finally finding someone who didn't look at her like a piece of meat,

and someone who she could share her thoughts with, and she had

hoped someday that maybe she could share her secrets with. She

had meant it when she had told Rei that she would tell her someday,

but Rei had brushed it off, Rei had wanted it then for her to speak,

but how could she? If only Rei could read her thoughts, and see

that she had meant everything, and had never wanted this to happen,

because just seeing that look of hurt on Rei's face, and knowing that

Rei thought of their relationship as a nightmare, that cut more than

anything.

Minako lay there with her stirring emotions, and tried her best to

sort them through, she didn't think to call Rei because...well what

would she ask? Say? Either thing she chose, Rei's was turned

away from her....

----------------

Rei had heard the soft chuckle Minako gave outside the door

as she desperately huddled into the blankets for some warmth,

and tried hard to appear like she was asleep, even though she

was really trying hard to calculate how much time it would take

for Minako to close the gap between them. There was a shift

in the sheets as Minako slid in, and Rei almost jumped at the

contact, and actually had to supress a shiver as Minako's

skin was ice cold.

Moments passed as Rei said nothing, and Minako the same

as she heard Minako shuffle and sigh as the rain and sleet

led way to sleeplessness as Minako got more restless. Rei

wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she was afraid of

what the answer would be, but then if she didn't ask she'd

spend the whole night angsting about it. She doubted that she'd

get far, or much, but....ah....Rei let out a soft exhale, and made

a frustrated noise in her throat, but Minako either didn't notice

or chose to ignore it.

The noise of the rain was pressing in on them as Minako's

breathing seemed to vary from long exhales to sharp inhales

and Rei could tell that sleep was the last thing on Minako's mind.

It would be so easy to just reach out her hand and comfort

Minako, but before she even thought to do that Minako's warm

breath was blowing gently against her cheek, and her voice

filled the silence penetrating the room.

"Rei...."

At the sound of Minako calling for her, Rei tried to sound like

she had just been awoken by Minako's voice, and purposely

waited a few moments before answering.

"...yeah?"

"I'm going to meet Kaijou...tomorrow," Minako let her announcement

sit and wait in the air for Rei to say something, anything, even if it

was disapproval, or more or less anger.

"..."

"He had my mask," Minako said as she went unanswered.

"What mask?" Rei asked, surprisingly her voice was soft again the

din as she loosely slipped her fingers inbetween Minako's, and squeezed.

"The mask I used as Sailor V. Normally, I have it safely locked away

in my summer retreat in London...it just goes to show how far that man

can go.."

Rei didn't know how to comprehend this, about someone knowing

any of their other identities, where did this put them in? A different more

agonizing situation? Would Kaijou spill....? Rei turned over and faced

Minako as she set worried eyes on Minako's trembling frame.

"You're cold..." Rei couldn't say anything else as she embraced

Minako into her as she took comfort in the warmth that Minako provided.

"Yesterday comes...and I don't know what he plans to do, and you're

still here holding me?" Minako asked in disbelief as she lay her head

against Rei's shoulder.

"I don't care, right now Artemis once told me that things had

to be accountable for the present, and you have to live in the

moment. I have to take my own advice, you know," Rei murmured

back as she kissed Minako's cheek fervently.

Minako's hand snaked into Rei's hair as she pressed them harder

against each other, and she tried to push the small tear in her eye

away as she gathered her courage for tomorrow.

"...I wish I had your strength Rei...I wish I had that kind of faith," Minako

breathed noticing that her eyes were getting more moist.

"Shhh...." Rei hushed as she stroked Minako's silky soft hair and tucked

away a strand that was in her face.

"I need your strength...so just give me it for awhile, and let's pretend

we're absolute strangers," Minako intoned softly as her voice dipped

lower to not disturb the rain.

"I've fallen in love with the grey side of you," Rei suddenly spoke

much to Minako's surprise.

"Grey?" Minako asked taken aback by this sudden change in Rei's mood.

"I know the things that you show people, but I see under the surface things

too, and I can also see where you're coming from, but I can't cut that deep

into you, but grey also is the color of the sky sometimes when there's fog,

and it's more hopeful that the sun will break through the fog, that means

one day I _will_ know all your secrets. I just have to be patient," Rei explained

smiling as she lightly pecked Minako's lips and settled down into her pillow,

fully content now.

"Sometimes....you amaze me and confuse me at the same time, Rei. I

just don't know sometimes...you say things that make me think twice

about you," Minako laughed gaily at that.

"Can't I be romantic?" Rei huffed.

"Romantic? When did you get all movie struck?" Minako asked mirth showing

in her eyes.

"I don't know....I...I love you," Rei said in finality looking up at Minako for a reply.

"I love you too," Minako replied nonchalantly as if it was a simple everyday

thing.

"Damn it....that's just so like you," Rei groaned as she flopped her head back

onto her pillow.

"What? I said it back," Minako exclaimed peeved.

"You say it, but you don't _sound_ like you mean it, you make it sound like

it's nothing," Rei complained waving her hand dramatically over Minako's face.

"Rei...please, don't get into the movie star esquisse of thinking this is

what romance is like, it isn't passionate or desirable, or anything grand,

we're not going to sweep each other off of our feet, and we're definetely

not going to run around in a flowery field in summer dresses, and braid

garlands into our hair, and get wet by the beach, and make out in the

sand," Minako laughed, the thought of them actually doing anything remotley

hollywood-like romantic and _that_ corny just tickled her funny bone.

Rei couldn't help but laugh outloud at Minako's rendition of romance

as she tried to supress her laughter to no avail.

"So...what you're saying is you want me to say it like this," Minako

said as she propped herself up by her elbows so she could look

down into Rei's eyes, and she put on a serious mask, almost seductive

even....and then in a low but meaningful voice she said, "I love you."

Rei's heart rapidly beat agains the walls of her chest as Rei tried

hard not to blush at the unwavering stare that Minako had graced upon

her. She noticed how Minako's lips parted just gently to show her

small white teeth, and how Minako's eyes became a little heavy lidded

as her tone got more hushed, and Rei had to lean in closer to hear

the hints of "I love you".

The moment would've been perfect, if Minako hadn't started laughing,

and Rei blushed even harder at the fact that she had actually liked that.

Rei turned her head away, and looked smugly at the ceiling, to try to

drive back the feeling of embarassment.

"You don't need to mock everything," Rei said once again as Minako

leaned her head against her shoulder again.

"I don't mock it, I see it more as a...daydream. It's just foolish really, I'd

rather have real love with it's complications, then some storybook romance,

and true love I think is very boring," Minako murmured smiling.

"Boring?" Rei mused.

"True love is predictable, it's "I will" and "you will", and promises. It's

all about feelings and love, and heart, but it's never about outside

interventions, that's what makes love rocky, that's what make love

desired, that's what makes things passionate, but without conflict

or adversity, I think we'd be pretty much like an old married couple,"Minako

replied giggling softly.

"We already argue like one," Rei burst out chuckling.

"Yes. We're such bitter people," Minako answered.

"We're not bitter we're people, we want so much more, but

we can't have it until we confront it, what makes it so hard?" Rei

mumble unaware of making any sense right now.

"Because fear is a ruling factor, we fear for others, but mostly

ourselves, our well being, our happiness. There's a problem when

we turn away from other problems that we don't deem associated

with our lives, but the irony of it is we're all like little dominoes, when

one falls the other must follow suit," Minako answered right back

trying to fight off her insomnia.

"Is that my guilt or your guilt?" Rei asked finally as her eyes started

drifting closed as sleep finally wound itself around her.

"Hmm...." Minako mumbled back telling herself that she was just

resting her eyes, but before she knew it she was falling into the

escapade of her dreams, where the nightmares were all little

tricks of her imagination and her dreams were only a reflection

of herself.

And like that....the morning came, but yet in their sleep they

still turned away from each other, to not have to see the other

go, to not feel such sapping weight of hope, and maybe to adopt

a new motto of refrain. Rei still had that same faith in her, that blind

hope of whatever pain she had to endure it would guarantee Minako's

extended stay, and Minako could not refuse it, or try to dissuade Rei

from her midnight rambling. They had clung to each other, Minako couldn't

deny that she had wanted Rei's strength, and had been given into it

just for a moment so that it was euphoria, but it was like the morning

had brainwashed her of all of it. Nothing had changed during the night,

they still had the same old fears, and Minako was sick of having to

turn away from them...


	15. Fish in the Bowl

**Chapter 15: Fish in the Bowl**

_"So, you think you can tell, heaven from hell,_

_blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field_

_from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?_

_Do you think you can tell?_

_And did they get you to trade_

_Your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees?_

_Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change?_

_And did you exchange a walk on part in the war,_

_for a lead role in a cage? _

_How I wish, I wish you were here_

_we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl,_

_year after year, running over the same old ground._

_What have we found? The same old fears. "_

Makoto clenched and unclenched her fists again

as the pain seared its way to the rest of her limbs and

interrupted her concentration. Pinching the bridge of her

nose gently, Makoto groaned outloud when she stretched

and felt something pop, last night had been awful. She had

paced around the room, until her heels were almost digging

holes into the carpet, and she still....AAGH!

Many times had she thought of calling Rei and Minako

to get the full story, at least for her to grasp a better explanation

about what was happening, but all she knew was that Kaijou

was just another jealous ex. Haru still hadn't awoken yet as

he seemed to sleep on despite his mother's vigorous pacing.

Makoto picked up and set down the phone once again as she

bit her lip, trying to decide if it was the best time to call Rei,

but she decided she'd go for it. Her fingers speedily punched

the numbers on the dial as the static of the telephone reached

her ears.

At first, no one seemed to pick up after a couple of rings, but

soon Rei's distinguishable gruff and sleep-laden voice answered

with a grumpy "hello". Makoto winced as she looked down at her

swiss army watch, and noticed that it was eight in the morning and

Rei was just up, she must have had a hard night Makoto calculated

from the way they left the hospital, you could tell a heated argument

was about to boil over.

"Sorry....I thought you'd answer your cell phone since you're

usually up early...to sweep around the shrine, sorry if I woke

you," Makoto apologized bowing slightly to the phone in her hand

as if it was Rei.

Makoto could hear an audible sigh come from Rei on the other line

as her phone crinkled with static.

_"Well, it's not your fault, Minako has been adjusting my internal _

_clock lately," _Rei answered reverting back to her usual calm tone.

"Oh...hard night?" Makoto asked her voice faltering, she didn't

think calling Rei was a good idea anymore.

_"....you could say so, but we didn't really argue, we talked really, _

_and shared a couple of laughs_," there was a hesitation before Rei

answered that made Makoto doubt that their talking was one of

comedic purposes.

"Is Minako there? I was wondering about trying to ask her, really why

is Kaijou doing this, to her? You know...the whole deal with trying to know

every aspect of her life," Makoto got to the point twirling the cord of the

phone on her finger.

Static answered back at Makoto as there was a silence on the other

line for awhile, it was like Rei was making up her mind about something,

and she heard the crinkling of paper in the background. Did Rei even

get newspapers regularly? Makoto heard Rei clear her throat almost

on a nervous impulse as the sound of more paper rustling was heard.

_"Well, what can I say, from the way he's acting he's probably just _

_another obsessive and very....jealous ex," _Rei replied emphasizing the

syllables of jealous.

"Yeah? But I read on the magazines that they were doing so well,

and they seemed really in love, you know fireworks and bells and all

that good stuff," Makoto said as she sat herself down on a chair in her

living room.

_"Fireworks and bells?" _Rei asked a bit loudly as Makoto winced as

her ear got more force than intended.

"Well....you know," at this Makoto shuffled her feet in embarassment.

"You know like you hear sounds, and bells and whistles when you're in

love with the person, and uh....you hear bells, at least that's what it felt

like to me."

Makoto swore she could hear Rei trying to stifle a laugh on the other

line as she had said her explanation. This was what she got for being

expressive....some friend.

"Don't laugh, if you've ever been in love you'll agree with me that

there _are_ fireworks and bells you hear when in amorous love," Makoto

protested.

_"Amorous? Makoto when did you become so le passionate? I'm_

_in love, and I don't hear any bells or fireworks, seems to me like you_

_were on overload when you were "consumnating" your love with a _

_certain someone eh?" _ Rei teased Makoto good-naturedly as she

had rarely the time to talk to Makoto on such a level.

Makoto blushed fiercely at the mention of her "fireworks and bells"

being used in the same context as having....Rei had a dirty mind, it was

confirmed...

"You're dirty-minded...but yes, you do hear whistles, er fireworks and

bells, you would hear them too if you actually enjoyed it," Makoto shot

back in friendly banter.

_"Excuse me, but I'm not too antsy to get into Minako's pants anytime_

_soon," _Rei retorted her voice hitching up a little in volume.

"I meant it as enjoying to be in love, but you just took it to the outer limits,

being a shinto priestess must be more frustrating then it seems, sheesh,

your biological clock is messed too. How many times have I said something

completely unsuggestive, and your dirty mind has twisted it, and taken it to

the next level? And about getting into Minako's pants, are you sure you aren't

antsy? Maybe it's just you being ashamed of telling Minako that you're still a

bonifide virgin?" Makoto shot back a devious grin playing on her lips.

Makoto was rewarded as she heard Rei sputter into the phone line,

and tried gloriously to imagine Rei's frustrated and red face, at her come-

back.

_"I'm not ashamed....I'm....taking my time!" _Rei retorted seeming

to run out hot air already.

"Really? Does it have anything to do with an oath of celibacy that a

miko has to take in order to appeal to kami, before she becomes high

priestess?" Makoto asked slyly.

And then the prize.....an almost feral growl from Rei on the other line.

Makoto enjoyed making Rei mad, almost as much as she enjoyed taking

care of Haru, it was almost comedic to watch the fiery priestess switch

moods faster than a diagnosed bipolar.

"Wow...and I thought only Minako could make you tick," Makoto

laughed gaily as Rei emitted yet another growl.

_"You both drive me up the wall....all of you! Don't call me if all you're _

_going to do is pester me! And for the record, my grandfather is dead,_

_and I am now high priestess so I can do whatever I want!" _Rei snapped

viciously as she tried to draw attention away from her.

"Hey, hey take it easy, I was calling to help we never talk like this.

I wanted to say I'm sorry to Minako, and catch up on old times while at

it, but on a heavier note have you done anything with Minako that in

some dire situation you're going regret?" Makoto protested as she

felt a little offended at the thought that Rei thought she was just

calling to be a pest.

_"....like?" _Rei answered on edge.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Rei Hino," Makoto

replied as she put on her infamous death glare to the air hoping

that Rei would know that she was.

_"...no. We never even thought about doing anything,"_ Rei

answered a tad bit flatly.

"Regretting that you didn't do anything?" Makoto asked.

_"...I....don't know. I can say she's got all my feelings up in a _

_bunch, my head feels like it's made of cotton sometimes, like _

_people can just stuff whatever into my head and I'll immediately _

_accept it," _Rei confessed, sounding a lot more weary than she did

moments ago.

"Hang in there...the road of love is never smooth," Makoto soothed.

_"I think I heard that somewhere in a chicken soup for the lovers _

_soul book once....now we're memorizing the lines of famous romantic _

_heroes, great, just great, what's next? Will we be qouting Shakespeare, _

_and thinking about joining the Justice Leauge as the underpaid, _

_unnoticed, modern everyday heroes?" _Rei drawled sarcastically

as a tint of anger could be heard in her voice.

"I didn't mean to offend...I was just saying," Makoto spoke softly

concerned.

At that Rei groaned...just how many people could she hurt with her

words? She tried desperately to take back all of the hurtful things she

had just said to Makoto.

_"Makoto...I'm sorry, I'm not myself, Minako's left....gone to meet _

_that bastard, and I...I just wish we weren't so helpless...all that bastard's_

_got to do is act...pretend. I mean what were we in the past seven years?_

_We weren't housewives or ordinary people, we were senshi! _

_So why aren't we acting like ones now? Why do we have to be weak..._

_why does our absence of physical power degrade everything we've_

_ever held dear, and reduced us to mere hapless civilians twiddling_

_our thumbs as the so called higher powers of society rape of us_

_of our justice! Tell me why they're allowed to do that, we're people_

_too, for kami's sake, we breathe air, we drink water...we were heroes_

_once," _Rei cried in anger as Makoto could hear the harsh breaths she

took in an attempt to steel herself from anger.

"Rei...you're right we are still senshi, but I can't help you if you

go on a tirade and do something stupid," Makoto said in the most

calmest voice she could muster as Rei's epiphany stirred up

something deep within her.

_"You're right...it just angers me that's all, I'm not used to _

_giving up, not like this,"_ Rei sighed and Makoto felt badly for the

distraught woman.

"Is there anything I can do to help...? I feel bad...for being such a

coward back in that hospital, I wish I could've decked him a good one,"Makoto

murmured.

There was the sound of ripping paper again as Makoto pressed the

phone closer to her ear, and she could even hear the sound of Rei's fingers,

thrumming against a hard surface.

_"Yeah...there is something you could do for me...." _

---------------

Minako sighed softly as she scanned the shop windows, occasionally

kneeling down to take a closer look at some random item, and passing on

her way. Artemis sat perched in her black bag with a sad look on his eyes,

he really felt like this morning as they were leaving the Hikawa Shrine, like

it would be the last time he would set eyes on it. It was silly to assume that

they were leaving for more than just a meeting, but he couldn't help but

imagine the worse, something he was very good at accomplishing.

"What should I buy, Artemis?" Minako asked casually as if this was

just another walk in the park.

"..." Artemis didn't reply as he just burrowed himself deeper into her

bag.

"It's not usual we get to go out alone, I was thinking I could buy something

special for Rei," Minako continued on not really caring if Artemis did reply.

"I think seeing you return home is a nice enough gift," Artemis replied.

"Well I am going to be returning home, Artemis don't make it like we're

going far, far away, we're going to meet Kaijou," Minako laughed but

Artemis knew this was another one of the little quirks Minako had.

When faced with adversity she tried to laugh it off, like it didn't matter,

apathy was her cure for fear and anxiety. This was something Minako knew

she had to do, confrontation was necessary for every problem, she was aware

now, of just how much responsibility she had in this. Brushing the hair from her

face, Minako saw Kaijou sitting on a park bench reading a novel, as he waited

for her.

"Trying to play the part of an intellectual are you?" Minako called as

she approached.

Kaijou's eyes lifted from the book, praising Minako's grace and form as

his eyes slid up her legs to her jean skirt, and then to her black top, and

baseball cap as he uncrossed his legs.

"Well, of course. You never know who's watching..."

--------------

Makoto shifted slightly as she saw Minako approach Kaijou, and

she tried her best to stay hidden in the crowd, at the cafe across from

the park. Her leg bobbed up and down anxiously, and she took a small

sip of her orange juice as Ami fiddled with her napkin, Makoto had invited

Ami along because she didn't know if she could do this herself, and she

felt like she should include Ami....and Usagi. Usagi bounced up and down

in anticipation as she saw Kaijou's mouth move, but didn't see Minako's

reaction as Minako's back, was conveniently turned away from them.

"I still don't think this is right guys," Ami murmured as she sipped her coke.

"Nonsense! Rei asked us too....well she asked Makoto, but we're her

friends too, and we're trying to help. Think of it as doing them a favor," Usagi

protested trying to make Ami feel better.

"But...what if Minako finds out, and we just manage to make it worse for

them?" Ami confessed uneasily.

"I'll take responsibility for it, but we have to do this, it's the only way, Rei

told me that Minako won't tell her anything, and we need to stick together,

even if that means without each others' consent," Makoto said heatedly

as she eyed Kaijou as he seemed to make some lewd comment that

caused Minako to take a step backwards.

"Well we'll never know anything if we just read body language, let's

get closer!" Usagi whined.

"Get any closer and we'll be in Minako's range of discovery," Makoto

replied.

All their banter was interrupted as Minako seemed to have slapped

Kaijou as he had advanced on her, and Kaijou had grabbed onto Minako's

arm and had not let go, they appeared to be having a fight. That caused

the three of them to bolt out of their chairs, and hurry to Minako's side

running across the street, even as the streetlight flashed red. Usagi

was the first one to reach Minako's side as Minako turned her head in

confusion as she heard footsteps approach.

"How...why?" Minako asked speechless the irises of her eyes darkening

in color.

"I'm sorry...it was my idea to follow you, I just felt ashamed that I

was such a coward, and Rei said it herself that you didn't tell her

anything...so we thought, it'd be best to get information to follow

you," Makoto explained. "But none of this was Rei's fault!"

At the mention of Rei, Minako smirked, and her eyes returned to their

normal state as she muttered "how typical" underneath her breath.

"Now isn't that nice your friends are worried about you," Kaijou

drawled airily as his posture didn't change.

"Hey! You better leave Minako alone, if she doesn't want to be

with you then don't force her! It's illegal to stalk people, you know,

if you don't leave her alone you'll have to contend with us!" Usagi

stepped up bravely.

Kaijou eyed Usagi up and down as if calculating what kind of threat

she would be, and he just scoffed, as Usagi stood spread legged in front

of Minako. Makoto herself inched protectively closer to Minako as Ami

steeled herself for whatever Kaijou had up his sleeve.

"I've done nothing bad....your darling Minako has done worse things

than I. So if she can get away with it, I believe I can too, but amazingly

all her sins have caught up to her, that's why she hides the truth, you

know. So what are you protecting...the person or the lie?" Kaijou replied

flippantly staring down at Usagi.

"Nothing Minako has done could ever chalk up to what you've done

to Rei and Makoto!" Ami broke in fiercely.

"You've got quite a mouth on you don't you?" Kaijou replied coldly. "I

haven't taken any lives have I? As I've told you, you hold no evidence

against me only witnesses, and I can perfectly prove that you are all

insane."

"We are not insane!" Usagi retorted.

Minako glared at Kaijou telling him with her eyes to drop the subject,

they would continue it later in private, but Kaijou seemed to want to make

all of this public. Makoto tried to control herself, since they were in public,

and ran the high risk of getting arrested for disrupting the peace, but it

didn't make the predicament less infuriating as they could only stand there,

and fire insults away at a man that seemed to feed off the insults they

threw at him.

"And I suppose you're all going be doing cartwheels around me

soon, giving off more panty shots then comebacks, ooh...let me guess

don't tell me from my left to my right....Sailor Mercury, Sailor Moon, Sailor

Venus, and Sailor Jupiter, no?" Kaijou smirked as he seemed to hit all

points as he rendered them all but Minako speechless.

Ami was the first one to speak as Usagi just looked on at Kaijou in

shock as even Makoto bit her lip in anger.

"H-how?" Ami uttered.

"He...found my mask. After that, it was just a simple deduction, really

all he had to do was do the math, and he had all of us rounded up," Minako

spoke.

"How exactly did he find out?" Makoto asked her voice breaking.

"My mask was hidden in my London flat, and he went back there

in hopes of trying to win back my interest, and in doing so...well he

found a lot of stuff I had meant to keep secret," Minako explained

her voice forced.

"So...he knows...?" Usagi asked finally as she finally broke out

from her dazed state.

"Yes...if you haven't heard, now you've had the chance of viewing

Minako at her best, in her alias of Sailor V beautiful protector of the city,

but she protects no one, more or less likely she takes more than she

gives," Kaijou administered his venom slowly.

"What would you know? You only assume our identities how can

you prove it?" Makoto retorted angrily.

"Dear...sometimes many people are willing to overlook such loopholes

when faced with the discovery of such...age-old superheroes in this

modern day world, where all that is interesting is watching paint dry. They

don't care, they want someone to watch, people to fight, and lives to be lost,

basically for some entertainment, you understand how mediocre a life can

be," Kaijou shot back adjusting his posture. "When you're nothing but ordinary

you ask for more drama, because its exciting and unpredictable."

"No one will believe you," Ami stated a matter-of-factly.

"They don't have to. Few things require faith, Ms. Mizuno, and few

things need to be pushed to be acted upon, but many things people push

for never follow through, until the right incentive," Kaijou shot back as

he fished a small newspaper article from his pocket, and unfolded it,

letting each of them view the bold headline.

On it in plain bold black ink, was the reason why Sailor V had stopped

her vigilante crime fighting, and had adopted a more _quiet_ way of looking

over the city. All three tried to comprehend why...and how, but Minako

reached out and crumpled the newspaper article in Kaijou's hands.

"Oh...don't want them staring too hard at your past sins, eh? Still want

to establish your good image in their eyes?" Kaijou sneered.

"My past has nothing to do with the present, stop rooting around into it...

don't get involved too much Kaijou or else you'll find yourself burned," Minako

snapped, as her eyes sizzled with a fire that Kaijou had never seen before,

he definetely had traveled farther then he intended.

"My...protective, aren't you? How nice of you though to leave such a

crumb trail in your London flat, really, who'd have thought you'd have a

penchant for married men when you were younger? How do you still

live with yourself and visit her everyday?" Kaijou questioned softly.

Minako was a trained professional, she knew her prowess at

acting and pretending, and she used it well as she hid her anger by

nonchalance.

"Is it any business of yours, my private life? Not like you are better

than the man I had an affair with," Minako replied coldly, watching

Kaijou for any hint that she had gotten a little to him.

The three who had been silent through all of this gasped in unison

at this revelation. Minako had an affair? Now, this would've been in all

the tabloid magazines and the news, so why didn't it? Makoto bit her

lip hesitantly, wondering if she should tell Rei this, or hide the truth, maybe

she shouldn't have agreed to all of this, she was getting too caught up in

this.

"Minako I'm the only one who can withstand your bad luck at

keeping lovers _alive_, what choice do you have? Go to jail or be with

me, and your precious Rei can be safe from her father's intruding

influence," Kaijou hissed taking a step towards them.

"Don't think I can't hurt you either Kaijou, you know what I do

to those who touch me, and I can easily have you in a trashcan

in seperate tiny cubic pieces," Minako retorted agressively.

Usagi was getting scared as Kaijou seemed to not know a fear

of death as he took another step forward. It clicked in Ami's mind that

these two people, Minako and Kaijou knew each other like the back of

their hands, and they used every mental warfare tactic to bring the

other down, but they were very much two sides of the same coin. Both

had no fear of death or injury, both were passionate in whatever they

put their minds to, and both could only be hurt emotionally to do any

damage. The only difference were the places and things they put their

passion into.

"Just what...are you trying to bait Minako with? You know she

doesn't love you," Makoto piped in resisting the urge to pound his

face into a pulp.

"You haven't read the crumpled article, but I remember it by heart.

Sailor V Champion of Justice vigilante murders a man in a deserted

Tokyo warehouse, the man aged twenty-eight had a wife and a child,

but that didn't stop the Champion of Justice and Love from misusing her

kind of justice," Kaijou recited with finesse.

That proved to rattle all three of their shaken worlds as another

crack formed in the alliance of Senshi and they all turned to Minako for

proof. Minako found it hard to lie, she found that no matter how hard

she tried, secrets always were spilled.

"It's not a lie...it's true. I did kill a man," Minako claimed her voice

feeble for some reason.

"H-How could you!?" Usagi freaked out after that her eyes

wide and questioning.

"Usagi! Calm down...I had to...I would never kill a man if I didn't think

it was right, or if I didn't have a reason I wouldn't have killed him. You

have to believe in me Usagi, as a friend. If I could've taken it all back, and

went back to the start it wouldn't have gone any other way!" Minako

interjected vehemently taking Usagi by the shoulders and forcing her to

look into her eyes.

Minako's eyes pleaded to Usagi to understand, to feel her emotions,

and try to comprehend 'why'. Makoto herself was in shock, she had

imagined when she was a Senshi, Minako being as ruthless as to

demand Jupiter and Mars to try and defeat Dark Mercury, but to kill a

man? That was an entirely different level of willpower.

"You are aware of what this puts you all in? A clinchhold...the Police

are still on the look for any signs of Sailor V, if they ever do catch her

they will convict her of murder, and all those who helped her will be

thrown into a Jail. Which means, all that is associated your families

will face trial, on grounds of hiding a criminal and a vigilante," Kaijou

informed them pleased at seeing Minako on edge.

"You're pretty cocky for a man that wasn't even there for his mother's

funeral, you know Kaijou, I always wondered on her deathbed what she

had whispered to you, but I can imagine it went along the lines of, "I'll see

you in hell you bastard," Minako shot and scored...

Kaijou clenched his fist in anger, his own mother used to Minako's

advantage, if it was one woman that Kaijou could not manipulate, it

was his mother. He had inherited his nature from his mother, and she

was the first one who taught him how to fight not with his fists, but

with his words. He had to thank her though....but he relished in the

fact that the old hag was put away for good. She did die a terribly

painful death from liver and kidney failure due to complications from

drinking, and he did feel a tint of remorse for her, but the remorse

was buried too deep and left behind in the memory of a boy.

"I'm not the one who killed a man," He had repeated his accusation

further burrowing himself into a deeper grave and Minako caught on

quickly.

"I killed a man...I have to live with it, but you...you'll face embarassment

sooner or later, you may have my body there with you, but one day you'll

get caught up in pretending, you live many lies Kaijou and one day all those

lives you have lived will catch up to you, and what's that bring you but grief?

Save yourself, Kaijou," Minako said.

Deep in her heart Minako couldn't deny that she felt sorry for this

paradox of a man. Kaijou was truly alone and like her, he tried to be

understood, but what he confused was the reality he wanted and the

reality of it was, was that he did get what he want...puny lives in his

hands to manipulate like chess pieces, and yet he was still unsatisfied.

So when he was refused he felt deeply dejected, and that dejection

turned to hate, and that hate was confused with love. There was

nothing sexual about his attraction to Minako, it was more of an

image of what he saw her as, and he saw her as a person bearing

the most resemblance to his mother. His mother, a woman who

was colder than a block of ice, but still taught her son well, and

gave him riches and food to take care of himself but neglected to

give him love, but he still loved his mother and having Minako would

only bring him so much closer in spirit to her, and with this obsession

he feverishly pursued Minako.

Kaijou tried to calm himself, he tried to think of the control he had

over the situation, and he suceeded in his illusion of safety.

"Whatever...I don't need to save myself, it is you who needs to

think about it. Murder is a highly attributed to dishonor, I wouldn't

want you to hinder the safety of those around you, I give you three

days to decide, I tire of this already," Kaijou announced as he

knew that if debated any longer he would lose the edge he had

gained, plus he had a meeting with Senator Hino to proceed to....

-------------

They watched him leave like a ghost as the bounce in his step

proved to daunt their mood, and the air seemed thicker, darker, and

more foreboding. Minako had not spoken a word only she did not

take her eyes off Kaijou's back, but her face was not one of anger,

but more like....a one-sided sympathy. Pity. A chuckle came from her

lips, and everyone turned to her again, confusion written on their

faces. They couldn't understand how Minako found humor in a

situation such as this, such as the one they were caught in, if

Minako didn't go to Kaijou....then...well they'd be caught in the

web also, and if Kaijou knew of all their identities, it was very likely

for him to know that Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen, the most wanted

thief from seven years ago.

"So this is how it's going to end...there's a happy ending that

I won't participate in, but who's to say did we really begin anything?

Sorry guys...for troubling you," Minako laughed outloud convincing

everyone around her that she was probably off her rocker.

"Minako..." Usagi said mournfully as she realized that this was a

sign of Minako's consent, that Minako had already made her decision.

"We don't....we could fight," Makoto supplied.

"Violence is useless, because he's right, and nothing will ever be

the same, but I'll make sure he never hurts any of you...because what

is it about love that just repels me? Because I am the Goddess of Love?

How ironic," Minako tried to soothe their fears away but only managed

to add to the madness curdling the blood in her veins.

"Minako...I think you should..." Ami said before Minako cut her off.

"Talk to Rei? What else is left to say?....I'm sorry all of you...just forget

it. I-I think I'm going to take a walk kay?" Minako murmured putting a hand on

her forehead and walked past them.

And they all let her go....didn't even raise a finger to try and stop her,

because they had no clue, they were unprepared and mostly because

they knew what Kaijou said was true. If Minako didn't appease to him and

come to him they would all face dilemmas with the law, but it didn't make

the situation less frustrating having to let Minako go like that, it only

brought them....further apart.

---------------

Artemis felt useless as he clung onto Minako's bag, he had neither

stepped up to defend Minako, or try to comfort and console the others

as he should have. He had just sat there and watched in shock as

the truth came spiraling down, he had always known of Minako's

secrets, he had instructed Minako to keep them secret, and it seemed

that keeping secrets was what had caused them the most pain. All

his years of training and grooming Minako to hide her best-kept

secrets, and training her to try to be the rightful leader of the senshi,

did it do any good? Or did it only complicate matters? Sighing, he

burrowed himself deeper into the leather smelling bag, and tried

to imagine the brunt of what Minako was feeling now, helplessness

against her own fate? Probably.

Guilt was the word attributed to Artemis as he knew they weren't

as helpless as they seemed, but it seemed to Minako that sacrificing

herself was the only means, she was the only one who had, had

trouble with the law on a larger scale. Love was the reflection of

Minako and love was probably what would destroy Minako in the

future.

--------------

(Hikawa Shrine)

Rei paced the entrance to the Shrine for the billionth time as she

anxiously gripped her cell phone, wondering if Makoto had gotten

caught, or maybe something bad had happened. The sense of

dread, forbade her to do anything else but pace the grounds as even

the people who collected in front of the shrine to buy charms, were

intimidated at Rei's feverish and worried expression. The anxiety she

felt did worse to dampen her 'second sight' as she could no longer

consult her sacred fire for any answers, because her thoughts would

ricochet in her head disrupting her concentration, just the thought of

Minako was enough to destroy any hopes of going back to her routine.

She had called Makoto's cell several times, but was met by call

waiting and that alone had made her almost throw the cell phone into

her so called "sacred flame", and watch it burn into oblivion. Patience

was never one of her practiced virtues, and the lack of patience made

the wait for a phone call, even more strenous. Phobos and Deimos

avoided her luckily, as they seemed to sense their master's frustrations,

and went elsewhere to conduct their affairs as they watched her with

their beady eyes.

Sighing, Rei perused her tongue over her lips again to stop them

from blistering and cracking, but everything seemed dry now to her.

Her throat didn't work properly, and it felt like she was coming down

with something, just great. Coughing slightly, Rei was never known to

get sick easily, but she knew that whenever she did, she got sick badly.

Even a common cold could confine her to her bed, and make her more

agitated than she already seemed, and she was known to chase away

politicians and eager couples trying to catch the shrine miko's attention

so they could ask of her to look into their future. Usually on those sick

days they were met with an even more vicious glare and heavier broom

stick.

"I am not...going to get sick. I never get sick, come on Hino," Rei raged

to herself as she practically stomped her way up into her room to get a

warm jacket to pull over her dogi.

It was just then that her phone managed to ring, and she snagged it out

of the pocket of her dogi eagerly, and snapped it open almost breaking the

reciever antannae on top.

"Hello? What is it? What happened? Tell me. Now," Rei demanded even

before the other person had pronounced who they were.

_"Uh....huh?" _confusion was riddled into Usagi's voice as it flooded through

to Rei's ear.

It was Usagi....Rei fought back the urge to sigh in exasperation.

"What do you want? And no, I'm not looking into the future for you

to find out what Mamoru is going to get you for your anniversary," Rei

said in practiced routine as she chose not to add to the fact that she

couldn't look into the future now when she was so distressed.

_"Geez....you make it sound like I demand this of you every time I call_

_or pop by. We just got back from our spy rendesvous!" _Usagi whined into

the phone.

So Makoto had spilled the beans to all three of them...Rei could've

guessed. Makoto wasn't the one to keep secrets at all, she usually turned

to them to keep her secrets for her, and everything was enclosed in the

family of friends, but lately....it seemed like Makoto was keeping secrets

mainly from Rei only.

"I knew Makoto didn't have the guts to refuse you...let me guess

Minako found you out?" Rei spoke into the phone irritated.

_"She didn't seem that mad...er...well actually come on! You know _

_Minako, she can spot us from a mile away!" _Usagi tried her best to defend

herself.

"Knowing you, Usagi, it'd be a surprise if she _didn't_ notice that you

were there," Rei replied coolly.

_"HEY! My brain is not made up of a sack of potatoes, and I have _

_to tell you that she didn't notice we were there for 5 straight minutes!" _

Usagi retorted stomping her foot in the background.

"Usagi! Just tell me what happened and nothing else! I'm already

under pressure as it is," Rei sighed into the phone all the while trying

to put on a jacket with one free arm.

"OW..." Rei muttered to herself as the arm that was lightly wrapped

in a gauze throbbed again.

_"Uh...well they talked about stuff...you know jealous ex-lover's stuff,_

_and he said...he knew about our identities, and he knew that Minako was_

_Sailor V,_" Usagi reported diligently.

"Uh-huh...that won't do him any good, no one will believe him," Rei

talked to herself knowing very well that Usagi as listening.

_"That's what I said too! Well...actually...that's what Makoto said,_

_but I was thinking along the same lines, so anyways...that was all," _Usagi

said to Rei.

"Nothing new...strange. What about him knowing Minako's Sailor V

is gonna make her come back to him?" Rei questioned as she got one arm

through a sleeve.

_"uh....." _ Usagi was now facing a moral dilemma.

Inside Usagi wanted badly to tell Rei about everything that had

happened, all the details of conversation, and what really went down,

but she had promised Minako not to utter a word, an unspoken promise

but a promise nonetheless. Usagi knew Minako wished for happiness

to last as long as it could, and she knew Minako would ask of her to do

this, but to lie to Rei....she had never lied before to any of her friends, she

felt like she was playing two sides of a fence and if she messed up, it

would all be over, and she'd get caught red-handed.

Rei or Minako? Her head was rooting for Minako but her heart was

hurting for Rei. She heard Rei's impatient sigh on the other line, she had

to make her choice, it came down to one of two choices. It was a

lose/lose situation, Usagi had to calculate how much damage would

be done by each, if she told Rei, then all Minako and Rei would do for

the next three days was possibly argue the hell out of each other.

On the flip side if Usagi steered Rei away from the topic and lied

Rei would be happy and Minako would make her final choice on

the dawn of the fourth day, and maybe their happiness would

appeal to Minako to stay...but then the threat of jail didn't seem too

hot.

But then...what if Rei found out? Truly, their happiness meant a lot

to Usagi, and she wanted to do all she could to even give them so time

alone where they could just be, and just...one little white lie couldn't

hurt, could it? Usagi made her decision.

_"Oh it was a load of bull crap you know! Like knowing Minako's_

_identity is so awesome, I mean does he have proof other than the_

_red mask? He's a good actor, but I don't think he'll do a good enough_

_act to convince a couple of policemen that Aino Minako is Sailor V,_

_I mean come on!" _

"Huh...yeah. You're right. Thanks Usagi," Rei replied, and Usagi

could practically hear the smile in Rei's voice, and for that one instance

she felt like she had made the right choice.

_"Well ChibiUsa needs feeding so I'll talk to you later...well _

_maybe tomorrow, since when Minako comes back you'll probably _

_be doing something to celebrate, so ja ne!" _ Usagi said hurriedly as

she struggled to not let the guilt work its way into her and make her

spill the beans over what she had done.

"Huh, wait! What do you mean celebrate? Wha--...Usagi...argh," Rei

called, but to no avail all she got was a dial tone, and she looked at the

phone in mild confusion as she repeated Usagi's words. "Something to

celebrate?"

---------------

(later that day)

Prespiration trickled down her brow as she knelt before the

flames, and breathed in the fumes, and tried to lose herself in

meditation. Somehow her concentration seemed shot. No matter

how hard she tried to concentrate it was if something was blocking

her from the visions and answers she sought. Something was

distracting her...or more or less,_ someone_. Usagi's last words to

Rei relayed in her mind yet again and she clenched her fists in

frustration.

"Damn it! Usagi just had to say that to make me think didn't

she?" Rei hissed as she pushed herself off of the floor and hurriedly

walked out of the room.

It was getting tough to communicate with the Kami, and Rei had

never in her life had ever been opposed with this before, she had always

had a firm connection the spirits, and yet...they seemed to be eluding

her. Rei walked outside, and the sun's glare went into her line of vision

and she huffed in frustration, and went to the kitchen where the sun

didn't have prowess over the shade. Sitting herself in a seat next to

the counter Rei tried hard to rationalize what was getting to her...

Lately, she had been restless, listless, bored, and overworked,

and her concentration was as consistent as one of a fruit fly. She just

couldn't keep her thoughts together and on track to even function with

her daily routine of sweeping the shrine, nurturing the shrine, and meditate

in front of the flame. With the arrival of Minako came chaos, and that chaos

had pleased her to some extent, it had offered her a comfort that her

life wasn't so drab, but now that she had to return to that so-called drab

routine she felt bitter. It would only be until Minako returned but Rei still

found it to be the longest day of her life.

Kami...there was something definetely awry with the way her mind

was playing tricks on her, she had sworn just an hour ago that she was

deep in meditation as the sounds she could hear of the oustide world were

actually sounds emitted from her vision, but when she opened her eyes she

realized that all she was doing was sitting there. She had not made any

progress or had even just one little spark of the spirits trying to communicate

with her. Was everyday going to be like this?

Rei observed the blue sky hanging over the shrine and contemplated

on how grey the sky had dominated last night, and the warmth of Minako next

to her made up for the gloomy air, but it hadn't stopped her mood from

swinging to utterly depressing to unfocused high. Shuddering, Rei tried

to make up for her spiritual setback as she stared forlornly at the letter

her grandpa left her, and tried hard to imagine what he must have been

thinking when he wrote it.

"Don't you get it? I'm not free...you didn't free me at all, you just let

me out into the wild so someone else could claim me. You left me with

father, and you left me to greedy politicians and mediocre couples that

always seem to rub it in my face that they have something to lean on,

as if not having a religion makes them independent," Rei spoke to the

letter not knowing what else to say, she couldn't speak her thoughts

to the air in hopes of a reply, she could only hope that her grandpa

heard her.

After though, she was left wondering why she had just talked

to a piece of paper, and that left her even more gloomy and needy for

some attention, some human contact. She needed a human touch

and companionship...specific companionship, but she refused to voice

the name of the woman that ceased to stop twisting her around her

finger. What if it really hadn't been nothing like Usagi said? No...Rei

had to trust Usagi, Usagi wouldn't lie to her about it, and she knew

that whatever happiness brought from a lie would be short-lived.

Rei groped for something to do, something to cure her anxiety,

maybe do something for when Minako came back, but the more she

thought about it the more it seemed to dismantle her idea all together.

Romantic crap...would never be on her agenda, they were ill-prepared,

and most likely always ended in some farce or argument.

She hoped she didn't look like she had nothing to do as she

stared hard at the hands of watch, and tried to count down to

the time it took for Minako to return, Kami she hoped she looked

like she had done something when Minako was away...

----------------

(Okinawan Cuisine Restaurant)

Senator Ryoji Hino folded his napkin impeccably against his

lap as a sort of bib as he bit into a juicy squid ball and revelled in its

flavor as he waited for his guest to arrive. The man Hino was

meeting was not one for puntuality as Hino saw in him before,

but literally the last few months Hino had heard nothing from him

but complaints about the love of his life running amok, faced with

that kind of restriction Senator Hino wondered how any woman

could survive under that intense and caged relationship, but then

again, being too lose with the love of your life could cause

consequences and unneeded rifts and gaps, that could not be

filled after a certain amount of time.

Senator Hino had changed in the past seven years since

he was in office as his hair was graying a bit at the edges,

and his eyes seemed to be weary and almost glazed over as

he eyed the entrance to the restaurant growing impatient.

Reaching into his brief pocket, Senator Hino took out a small

faded picture, tracing over its faces as he had come to know them

as the women in his life. On the side was little Rei, who Senator

Hino adored, but never had the courage to even be an influence

in her life, all his other plans failed so he just let her be thinking

that time would close the gap, but over the years he found that

time only made the gap larger. He could no longer connect with

Rei as he did when she was younger, he had no power over

what she chose to do in life, and that he regretted more than

often.

They never visited the grave anymore, at least not together,

the venerable Senator had given up after a disasterous dinner

interview that only drove Rei to try to alienate herself from her

father's line of business, more than drive her closer to him. It

was his failure as a father...and he had tried to make up for it,

with gifts and school tuition but Rei was still not satisfied, not

until she was independent from him. Sighing, Senator Hino

settled uneasily into his seat and contemplated his life's work,

at what he had accomplished, and more on what he had to

forfeit for that accomplishment. Threading his fingers together

he was soon interrupted from his thoughts by a lanky figure.

"'I'm sorry Hino-san to have been late, but my problems with my

private affairs have escalated," a voice called to the Senator as the

figure took a seat.

"What kind of problem takes an hour to solve Kaijou? You're slipping," Hino

replied curtly.

"Yes and I have apologized formally, I know timing is important to

the political field, but this matter couldn't be avoided, you're not mad are

you, Hino-san?" Kaijou replied bowing his head slightly.

"How can I be mad at you? I see you like my own son, and I just

wish you would practice puntuality as a virtue, seeing you like this...

it makes me wonder about stepping down and giving you the reign over

my political matter, but I've worked myself into a mess, I think...to step

down is the only answer," Senator Hino sighed as he ordered some

wine for them.

"Yes...I was thinking if you saw me like your own son....then you

might want to listen to me. Just for awhile, it's nothing political at all, it's

foolish really, maybe silly to you, but I must say it for I fear it will hurt you...

no...us in the long term," Kaijou said hesitantly as he eyed Senator Hino

gauging for a reaction.

"...of course. You've helped me so many times, I can't refuse, I'm a man

of honor Kaijou...ask away," Senator Hino complied and Kaijou grinned at

his victory.

"Yes. So tell me Hino-san what is your relationship like with your

daughter?"

--------

a thank you to MK Anderson to correcting

my little spelling error "Senshis".


	16. If

**Chapter 16: If**

_"If I were a swan I'd be gone, if I were a train, _

_I'd be late, and if I were a good man, I'd talk to you_

_more often then I do. If I were to sleep, I could dream, _

_if I were afraid, I could hide, and if I go insane _

_please don't put your wires in my brain._

_If I were the moon I'd be cool, if I were a book_

_I would bend for you, and if I were a good man_

_I'd understand the spaces between friends. _

_If I were alone I would cry, and if I were with you_

_I'd be home and dry, and if I go insane and they_

_lock me away, will you still let me join in the game? _

_If I were a good man, then maybe then, _

_I would understand the spaces between friends." _

"Yes. So tell me Hino-san what is your relationship like with your

daughter?"

That question caught Senator Hino by surprise as he pocketed the

photo back into his suit and he eyed Kaijou a little before answering.

"It could use some work, but I do want to communicate with her on

some level, she's a very accomplished miko at the shrine she works at,

you must go and see it for yourself."

"Oh dear, Hino-san are you so estranged from your daughter that

you cannot even bring your face to visit? What kind of father-daughter

relationship does that provide for the public eye?" Kaijou asked feigning

concern.

"Lately, I've started to get tired of forcing Rei into a ruse, I figure I'd

give my daughter at least her pride, and dignity. I don't know what goes

on in her life anymore, though I'd like to, I'm not the one to go around   
snooping," Senator Hino sighed as the topic of his daughter always

brought him down.

"I know...it's hard to face that you've failed in the eyes of the community,

but everyone knows how hard you work as senator, but I also know how

Rei-chan feels about your absence in her life. I too, you must remember did

not even go to my own mother's funeral. I feel like Rei-chan does, a sense of

shame that my mother and I could not hold together a decent family, and I think

Rei-chan wishes deep in her heart that she could be more closer to you, don't

you think?" Kaijou asked adding the "chan" to the end of Rei's name for good

measure.

"Mmmm," Senator Hino grumbled as he reflected on all Kaijou had to say.

"This is strange of you to ask about my relation with my daughter, why now?"

"Hino-san...I fear that your strained relationship with your daughter, has

forced her to be more reckless in her thinking, and the way she does things.

I've found out that she has had...certain intimate relations with Aino Minako...

my...my beau," Kaijou said the word "beau" a tad reluctantly as he tried

to paraphrase it.

Senator Hino sat up straight in his chair...intimate relations? He hadn't

noticed, Rei would never come to him for answers or problems, and he now

could feel the extent of how much long years of distance between family

could do.

"Intimate relations? Is this true?" Senator Hino gasped dropping his eating

utensils.

"Yes...unfortunately so, I found out when I visited the shrine to offer your

good will, she seemed to be cocky in the way she told me that Aino-san was

her _lover, _and I think it'd be best if you enforced upon her a more decent level

of discretion, or else take control Hino-san, you can't allow every moral that

you have tried to teach your colleagues to be mocked by your daughter's

actions," Kaijou whispered heatedly to Senator Hino, not even trying to

disguise the animalistic glint in his eye as if he was stalking some prey.

Senator Hino exhaled heavily as he contemplated on what it meant,

Rei having a relationship between Aino Minako, a successful pop icon

that would quickly bring the press to unveil their hidden romance, and

soon that would lead to questions on how much authority Hino had over

his family matters.

"If I may suggest," Kaijou broke into the Senator's thoughts. "That

you try your best to get her away from that star, because you know

sometimes love is mistaken as admiration, and you must establish a

firm foundation of control where Rei-chan cannot do as she freely

wishes. That way your title will not be stained, and maybe this will

do good to your daughter as well as to you."

Senator Hino exhaled again as he pondered upon this subject,

and the more he thought of it, the more ridiculous it sounded. Rei

having a relationship with a woman? But he couldn't just stride over

their to Rei and tell her she couldn't see anyone she wanted anymore,

she was a grown woman, and was not easily swayed now that she

was old enough to be independent. He had allowed for her to go to Kyoto,

and he had allowed her to do whatever she wished...

"How....intimate is this relationship?" Senator Hino asked his features

calm never betraying the buckling of his knees underneath the table.

"They don't seem to have gone beyond holding hands, but I can

assure you if we let this continue on, it'll be out in the open, for all who

wish to harm you to prey upon. Seize this opportunity to be of some

use in your daughter's life," Kaijou insisted trying to push the envelope

further.

Senator Hino closed his eyes, and thought of all the things he had

tried to teach Rei about their family name, about honor, and moral, but

it seemed the only thing she had gotten from him was his stubborness.

"No...let her be. I'll be declining from office soon and giving my role

to you, it'll be all right. Let her make her own decisions and figure out

what's right, I'm beginning to think that the best thing that I had ever

done for her....was to stay out of her life," Senator Hino sighed

wistfully, remembering a more innocent time when Rei had used

to want to impress him, and win his praise.

"WHAT!?" Kaijou exclaimed in disbelief surprised that this

conversation didn't go as planned.

"It's necessary to give up a battle to win the war, and until

Rei proves to me that she is a harm to herself and the Hino

household, I will stay away. I know time will not help anymore,

only maybe I hope that my approval of her will make things better,

that is all I will discuss on matters of my daughter," Senator Hino

replied showing every bit of why he was elected a Senator in the

first place.

"BUT!" Kaijou tried to protest, tried to win back Senator Hino's favor.

"Enough! I will not accept advice from a man that didn't even bother

to attend to his mother's funeral. That is a shame in itself, but I overlook

that, I see your virtues and I see you as a son to me, but sometimes you

must know, a parent must conduct and institute firm levels of discipline

in their children to establish good morals, and lessons," Senator Hino

replied throwing Kaijou's statements about how to raise your children

back at him.

Kaijou's eyes widened briefly in anger, but then reverted back to

a controlled nature, as Kaijou reluctantly nodded his head.

"What of the issue of my beau with your daughter?" Kaijou asked

softly.

"Leave them alone...you had lost Minako's heart far before you even

won it over," Senator Hino replied taking a sip of red wine.

"I will not! She belonged to me before...how can you refuse me of

something I had rightfully owned?" Kaijou spat incensed with jealousy

now.

Senator Hino looked on at Kaijou seeing more of himself in Kaijou

then he wanted, Kaijou was determined and cunning, and he was a

natural at fitting into crowds, but the complexity of the relationship

between his mother was a stain in Kaijou's unblemished wall of

resistance. The woman was a hag, barely ever compliant about

whatever Kaijou had accomplished, and yet he worked to please

her.

Senator Hino felt sorry for Kaijou, like the way he felt sorry for his

relationship with his own daughter, he had wanted to fix Kaijou up into

a good man, so it'd make up for the time he had not spent with Rei.

He had wished for redemption in Kaijou, and he had offered Kaijou

into open arms and embraced him like he would to his own son, and

he had hoped that one day, when Kaijou became a kindred spirit so

much more different than the look of betrayal and anger he usually

found in Rei's eyes, that the remorseful Senator would finally be

rewarded forgiveness.

But now he only saw the lust for power and manipulation, and

also he saw loneliness in those eyes, and he couldn't bring up the

heart to abandon Kaijou. Even though he knew Kaijou was wrong,

he kept on stroking Kaijou's ego, and appealing to his needs. Senator

Hino would not give up on Kaijou, no not ever...he would not abandon

him or leave him alone to fend on his own, he was the one who had

gave Kaijou his acting gig, Senator Hino was the one who supplied

Kaijou with the power, and he was the one who allowed Kaijou to

excercise his power over others without reprimand. It was with a

heavy heart that he allowed Kaijou to continue...

"Don't worry, we'll find a way okay? Don't be mad, just let them

have some peace and privacy for a few days," Senator Hino tried

to coax Kaijou out of his anger.

Fortunately, it worked. Kaijou's frown soon turned into a small

pleased smile, and he turned once again into the respectful son image

that he carried around Senator Hino's presence, and all was well.

The Senator's guilt at not suceeding in his daughter's life provided

the resources Kaijou needed to do what he did, and Kaijou's presence

gave the Senator a feeling of redemption, both wanted something from

each other, and Kaijou allowed the Senator to feed off of him in

glee as he knew the Senator could not refuse him.

Together they formed an unsteady alliance, both unwilling to let go

of the other in fear of instability, like a parasite depends on its host, but

who the parasite was, it was hard to tell.

----------------

(Kaijou's Apartment Flat: 2:00 AM)

Well...dinner was a blast, he had managed not only to riddle away

his plans to get rid of Hino Rei out of the picture, but he had actually

increased some kind of simpering need in the Senator to connect with

his daughter, which meant it would be a hard win to try to coax the

Senator's trust over to him again. He needed to be wary about his

movements, but the thought of having Minako was easily obtained,

by the way she reacted today, he had the whole thing in the bag.

Flicking on his lighter, he lit his fifth cigarette outside on his balcony,

and exhaled. He had always been ragged on by his mother about smoking,

she said it could cause cancer, and premature death, but he waved off

her rambling, now she was dead....one less person for him to have to see

and explain himself to. Taking a puff he eyed the contents on his table

surrepriously and regarded them lazily.

On the table neatly placed was many obscure items that he had found

in his search and scourging of Minako's past, he had still kept the mask, and

many newspaper articles dating from seven years ago to a month ago. He

had a compulsory addiction to neatness, it was his mother that taught him

that if you were sloppy, the things you wanted slipped out of your hands

easily. So, true to her teaching every article was labeled and dated, every

item sealed and untouched.

Tearing his gaze from his handiwork he looked up at the Tokyo sky,

and could only see dim lights of the skyscrapers that loomed over this

modest hotel he was staying in, and he silently cursed the skyscrapers

and this city, as it seemed to be blocking his view of the night sky. He had

visisted Okinawa, the far south and had enjoyed his stay, it was relatively

quiet there, peaceful and serene, and the beauty of it was jaw-dropping,

so that he could've just stood in one place all day enjoying the same

scenery, but the country side was not suiting for a young actor and

politician as the city of Tokyo seemed to call him. What a lame place

to be, so crowded, no one knew shit about each other, and they were

probably oblivious to the fact that their universes didn't play a part in

a plan.

Tokyo had now been taken over mostly by foreign corporate

franchises like Mcdonalds and Starbucks, it made him sick thinking

of the space that could be cleared for a more natural beauty, and he

planned to do so when he became Senator.

Firmly he had a guilt that he had not been there for his dying mother,

but the guilt stripped away all feeling, so apathy was expected when

talked of his mother, and her untimely death. Did he feel sorrow for the

one woman who had birthed him from her womb, and had practically

given him life? No. He had a little kindness to the woman to send roses,

but she merely birthed him from her womb, nothing else, he was the

one who had to ensure his own safety out in the world, and he fared

well, but he wouldn't even be here without Senator Hino and his easily

manipulated guilt of not being much of a father figure. So really he had

to thank...the Senator for being such a cooperative prey. Kaijou was an

atheist, he did not pray to any god, and he did not fear death.

All's well would end well in a matter of three days, he did feel a

little remorse for the Hino girl, he knew what it felt like to be disappointed

countless times, but that didn't stop him from shrugging his shoulders

in a display of apathy, and saying to himself, "too bad".

In his mind it made perfect sense for Minako to be with him, they were

both good at pretending and they had the same ways they only knew of

how to hurt others, to hurt their emotions and aim for their hearts. He found

a good deal of companionship in their arguments as they spat at each other,

and tried to find new ways to push their invisible knives into each other

deeper, trying to find when one would give in. He knew Minako wouldn't

understand it, but on some level he knew she understood, about the feeling

of being alive it brought.

This what was what love was to him, and that sickening twist of

human emotion only added more to his paradox as he felt sorrow and

anguish every time Minako cursed at him, or refused his love. So much,

that he had once fallen to his knees and crawled over to Minako, and

kissed her boots fully convincing her that he was certifiably insane, and

someone to pay heed to, if not fear, but he did not want her to fear him,

but he did not want her to pity him either. He couldn't be gentle with Minako,

because she looked as if she might break upon the slightest touch, and

he couldn't be rough either, he was caught between roles and that distress,

that mixutre of hate and love caused a more intoxicating form of release

that he couldn't let go.

He doubted that, that Hino girl ever touched Minako in a sexual way

before? Did she know how to caress Minako? Or was she afraid of the

feeling that such a taint of impurity would provide? Kaijou assumed a lot

about the Hino girl and so far he had assumed right, passionate but

slow on the market, she would never understand the animalistic need in

Minako to get closer, much closer to her if she dared to even touch her. He

knew the look in Minako's eyes, and he knew about their subtle glances

and touches, and he knew that Minako's true passion was kept under

wraps, mainly for the Hino girl who was slow in coming on.

Kaijou smirked to himself, fully content to know that Rei Hino did not

fully regard, and see the meaning of Love and Beauty yet in Minako. Rei

Hino saw Minako as Minako the person, but in doing so refuted all other

aspects of Minako's character, and certainly that led to their endless

arguments that Kaijou used much to his advantage.

Coughing slightly, he threw the cigarette he held between his fingers

onto the streets not caring if it hit anyone, and he slouched over to his

futon and crawled in.

"I am not insane, I'm in love," Kaijou uttered to himself. "I am an atheist,

an actor, and a politician."

He said this mantra everyday to fit into his roles, and he looked at

the ceiling fan over his head imagining Minako's caress something that

he had thought up of, but Minako never touched him that tenderly or even

complied to him that easily, but he could brainwash himself to believe

that she did, to create more satisfaction in her coming back to him, for

he believed that if anything else the true feeling that it brought when

Minako returned to him, would be a bitter one.

---------------

(Furahata Household)

Makoto rocked Haru softly against the crook of her arm as once

again, Minako personified as a murderer disrupted her pleasant thoughts,

and disturbed her image of Minako. Makoto cursed inwardly to herself,

and tried to occupy her thoughts with cereal brands, and pacifiers, and...

and well...baby brands was what she found escape in. If it wasn't for

Haru keeping her busy, she'd spend the whole day thinking about the why's

and the how's. Makoto tried to say to herself that it was what Minako

had to do when she was Sailor V, Minako as all alone at that time! There

was no other way....but without knowing the full story Makoto could only

take her friend's side on this, and believe in it as long as she could hold

on.

Usagi had called her after she had just gotten home, and Usagi had

pleaded with her to keep Minako's secrets from Rei, and Makoto had

fought hard with her conscience. She had to know what was really

right...to lead Rei on like this, and give her at least a few good days

of happiness, or tell her the truth and only see the look of hurt on Rei's

face much sooner. In the end Usagi's reasoning won, it was better

to keep Rei from this news as long as they could keep on pretending

it had been nothing, and until then they would keep it a secret between

the three, Usagi, Ami, and Makoto.

Makoto didn't feel right about this....they had never kept secrets from

each other, especially from one sole Senshi, but it wasn't like...it was a

big thing...okay it was a big thing, but it was for the right cause. Wasn't

that all that mattered?...

----------------

(Mizuno Household)

Ami sifted through her photographs, smiling at each and

every one because of the memory it brought, a painful emotion

or a joyful one, she cherished them all. Her eyes scanned the

picture at Usagi's wedding how happy they had all been, and

how they all had smirked and giggled when Motoki had caught

the bouquet, and the look of joy on all of their faces as they

waved goodbye to each other.

It was painful to let go of that one...but Ami tossed that

photo into the make-shift fire she had made out of her trash can.

Another page, another memory, another something weighing her

body down. Ami smoothly rubbed her finger over the date on

the photo, and saw Rei and Minako standing next to each other,

both refusing to let go of the bouquet that they held in both of

their hands. It was a hilarious sight to see Minako telling Rei that

she couldn't get married, and Rei telling Minako that no one could

ever put up with her, all the while their hands groped at the bouquet

until a few seconds later the bouqet ripped, and the flower petals

scatted onto the ground.

They had been embarassed at themselves, and at each other

as Rei suceeded in saying that she truly didn't want the bouquet, and

Minako following suit said that she didn't need any man. Then they had

all risen to watch the bride and groom cut the cake, and Motoki had

tripped almost over his own two feet in his joy, and Ami remembered

that, that was the night when Motoki's nosebleeds had started. Ami

tossed that photo also into the fire, and she sighed, and lived with

her guilt.

It was time to make new memories, new experiences, and new

ways of living with the people you were with. She believe it would

give her a clean slate to start with now, but now here she was lying

to Rei, but this was just the many things she wanted to do for the sake

of her friends. Nothing good would come out of this, she knew but

what could she do but obey her friends? The people who knew her

the most? All it was though....was just another memory to add to

her photobook...

-------------------

(Kaijou's Apartment Flat: 5:00 AM)

He couldn't sleep....he had tossed and turned all night

long, and had tangled the bedsheets between his legs, but

no amount of counting sheep could cure his insomnia. The

night to him was restless, and the lack of sleep he got showed,

at the work place people asked questions, they worried over

him, and all he could show for appreciation was an angry glare

and a reprimand to stop being so nosy.

Kaijou hadn't gotten a good night's sleep in years, he had

restless sleep, but after Minako, even with Minako he got no

sleep at all, it was a stirring feeling of unease when he was

with her, like if he didn't keep his eye on her she'd slip away,

or like in his dreams he would dream he was awake, and she

had lazily told him that she was going to kill him. That fear of

what Minako could bring and do, troubled his mind and the more

he thought about it, the better it was that she was with him, so

he could keep a close eye on her. Of all the people in the world

he was blessed and cursed. As long as Senator Hino still backed

him and let him do what he wanted, he was still in control. Kaijou

still had the power if he could still play on Senator Hino's guilt

like he did.

Did he ever regret? No. He was indifferent to all the others

who straggled by him, who tried desperately to reach, and

understand him. To many people he lacked what they would call

a surplus of human emotion, he felt them, but he didn't know

what to name them, didn't know what he felt.

Kaijou loved watching parasites, he loved the ones that would

ruthlessly attach themselves to flowers, and feed on their pollen

and glucose draining the flower dry, until it could drain no more.

Flowers were beautiful things weren't they? And with beautiful

things you only could feel two things....the urge to protect it, or

the urge to destroy it.

----------------------

(Downtown Tokyo Plaza: 3:30 PM)

The flash of lights and cameras flitted on and off as

Senator Hino made his grand entrance to promote the new

mall that was opening up in place of the old historical museum.

It was sad, to see such an ancient structure devoted to the past

be run down for a sleazy mall, but as Senator he had really very

little say in how things were actually run around here.

He plastered on a good smile as he posed for the camera and

only dropped his smile when he had made a grand escape into his

awaiting limo. The ulcer that was settling into his stomach caused

him great unease, as he watched the hyper teens and adolescents

scream, and barge their way into the open mall, and he sighed again.

"Corporate brainwashing I say, don't you agree Ishiida?" Senator

Hino asked to the driver of his limo, also his secretary who had been

with him by his side for years.

"Hmm, these companies and foreign influences they want to

get as much money, in the least amount of time as they can. We

can't hold up in government or in sales against the public's wants

and needs, but yes these signs are an eyesore," Ishiida replied his

eyes hidden by the sunglasses he wore.

"I know a girl...no, a young woman that would call these people

rushing in line to these malls fools, saying that they would jump into

things that would make them identify with the masses," Senator Hino

said contemplatively.

"Thinking about your daughter again, Hino-san?" Ishiida replied.

"I have always thought about my daughter, as my secretary for

years, you should already know that," Senator Hino remarked, popping

a pill into his mouth, and swallowing it dry.

"Yes, sir, but does she know?"

That question brought Senator Hino to a silence as he regarded the

thought, no she didn't know, all she saw him as was an incompetent

man, not even fit to be a father. He had never been there for her when

she had needed him, when she had called for him, to her Senator Hino

was an eyesore. The silence brought a grave look to permeate Ishiida's

face, and he chose wisely to not speak anymore on this tender subject,

and instead concentrated on the road. Senator Hino coughed into his

fists feeling his chest heave with every breath he took.

Ishiida for the most of it contemplated what kind of place Senator

Hino's reside from office would put him in. Would he have to stay and

still be a secretary for Kaijou? A person who he thought didn't give any

thought to the real issues in their society today, but only wanted it for

power, Ishiida thought it was sickening the Senator having his guilt

manipulated. Ishiida couldn't argue that Kaijou brought fresh and new

ideas to the seat, but it didn't mean that any of his methods were right,

even to begin with Ishiida didn't like Kaijou, but seeing as the Senator

liked him Ishiida kept his mouth shut about it.

Now, it'd only be a matter of time before Senator Hino resigned,

and Ishiida would be under the heel of Kaijou's control. What Ishiida

didn't know was that Kaijou's influence was slowly but surely affecting

the changes around them, and soon enough everyone would be caught

in the web, even those who had never even met the Senshi would play

a hand in their fate, and it was with this heavy thought that they entered

into the large estate only to see huge posters plastered up on the wall

of their front gate issuing out to the world that Senator Hino's "family affairs"

were out of control, and that Senator Hino's daughter was nothing than

a dirty "dyke" the ugly word was written clearly in plain english to provide

more hurtful backlash. At the bottom of the large poster was written in

bold red ink that the "dead-beat father" had birthed just another one

like him.

The pain in Senator Hino's gut reappeared again as he clutched at his

side helplessly, his face scrunched up in pain, and he stared in a quiet

rage at the poster. Someone had played a sick joke, but it was probably

a political "mud-fling" to tarnish his reputation againg, but this had gone

beyond control. The contrevorsy the poster brought would surely raise

suspicion, and Senator Hino briefly regretted not taking Kaijou's advice,

and he fumbled again for his pills as he tried hard to swallow the bile

rising in his throat.

"How are we going to cover this?" Ishiida asked observing the

poster with steady eyes as he assumed a business like decor. "This

goes beyond just political slander, this is an all out hate-crime."

"Tear it down...." Senator Hino said curtly as he took a heavy breath.

"No one sees this again."

Ishiida nodded his head as he took a hold of one of the edges of

the poster and tugged on it until the whole thing unpeeled itself from

the gate and fell down to the ground. Rolling the paper up into a ball

Ishiida craned his neck around looking for anyone who had seen this

poster lately, but this poster seemed to be just a warning of some kind,

and Ishiida had a feeling that more was to come.

Senator Hino sighed as he looked on at his estate, and knew

that he just couldn't stay out of Rei's life anymore....he had to get

involved.

-------------------

Kaijou cleared his throat as he watched the small woman

bustle around him in her kitchen as he tapped his foot impatiently.

The woman probably barely topped five feet as she hunched over

the sink her brown hair spilling over her shoulder, she would've looked

beautiful if life had not burdened her with such hardships, so that now

she always spoke with her head lowered, and her voice soft and feeble.

Kaijou felt a pang of sympathy but he swallowed that feeling into his gut

as his ambitions drove him further into blasphemy.

"Ms. Iwai I trust you not to be busy at this time?" Kaijou said finally

as he saw her hands had stopped working.

"Oh, please call me Sai there is no need for formality it's

very rare nowadays for me to meet anyone who had known my late

husband," the woman spoke as she turned around to regard Kaijou.

"Let's just say, we go far back, we haven't really meet before, but I

knew him through a friend," Kaijou replied sipping his tea slowly as he

looked at her photos on the wall.

"Oh, everyone always seemed to know him one way or another," the

boy at the side of the table Kaijou was sitting at spoke up.

Like his mother he was a sullen looking boy, one could look at him

and think that he was a nice young man, but really he was only thirteen and

yet he had such a somber expression on his face it was difficult to

calculate how old he was, and what he was thinking about. Ogura Iwai

was a perfect image of his late father as he sat quietly beside Kaijou, and

Kaijou looked sideways at him but chose just then to spare a glance

at Sai.

"Your husband was a good man, ever loyal, ever..._faithful_," Kaijou

said testing the weight of his words, and how the family would take it.

Kaijou got his answer as Sai's shoulders instantly tensed a little at

the word "faithful" and she forced a smile, and Ogura shifted in his chair

uncomfortably. A better reaction then he thought possible.

"I came here today not to make idle chat unfortunately, I come

here to offer you a once in a life-time chance to bring your husband's

killer to justice, and actually put Sailor V in her place," Kaijou offered

thinking that it was the time to not play games as he set a tape recorder

in front of him.

At the name Sai started as if she had been shocked and bustled

around the kitchen frantically in haste as she tried to work the look of

pain away from her eyes as tears welled up.

"I don't know what you mean...the murderer was already tried

years before," Sai mumbled as she went back to work with cooking

dinner as her son stared at her with sorrowful eyes.

"No. You know very well that your husband's killer is still alive

and breathing, and living a life of luxury, Aino Minako is living her life

happily with disregard of what she had done to your family," Kaijou

protested pushing for more anger.

"....sometimes she sends us money, and cards...sent by her

secretary probably, but it's something at least. She's a good girl," Sai

weakly tried to defend Minako even though her eyes were almost

black from hidden rage and frustration.

"That's very convincing," Kaijou drawled sarcastically.

"Mother..." Ogura mumbled but Sai shot him a look as if to say

"not now".

"Please...don't keep quiet about this. To protect a child is one

thing, but Aino Minako has grown past the age of innocence, and as

an adult she must face her consequences, don't you ever get mad?

Get angry at the fact that your husband would've lived if he had not

met her?" Kaijou persistantly pursued the subject.

Sai's hands clenched unexpectedly as the white of her knuckles

was a contrast against her tan skin, but her lips were shut tight as

she turned her back to Kaijou's gaze, and steeled herself.

"It's been a long while...that I have thought of that, but I know

I have moved past hate, only pity for Minako so alone out there the

guilt must be terrible enough," Sai replied clearing her throat to keep

her tears receding.

"...I'm ashamed of you. Here you are with the greatest oppurtunity

to give your husband the justice he deserves, you have all the evidence

we need, and yet, you persist that guilt is punishment enough, but it's not

enough I see it in your eyes, somewhere deep inside you resent her getting

happiness, that she alone and not you had happiness in these past few

years, tell me what has been fair? Your had to mortgage away your old

home, and now you work as a part-time bar waitress to even pay the bills,

and your son has been caught at school countless times for keeping substance

drugs, tell me what's the fair in that?" Kaijou fiercely attacked her walls not

caring if this gentle portrait of a woman fell out of its place.

"NO!...stop...I'll tell you everything, I'll give you the pictures just leave

my mother alone," Ogura spoke up suddenly, but his voice was strong and

loud as if he had finally gotten up the courage to speak.

Kaijou then turned to the young man beside him that had now caught

his attention as Sai uttered a noise from her throat that was a cross between

a groan of defeat and a cry of pain.

"Now...why are you giving this information to me?" Kaijou asked smirking.

"I....I want to bring justice. I want to see my mother have peace, and if

she doesn't have the heart to do it, then I will! I was a child back then, but now

I am a man, and I won't stop from doing what's right, I can prove to you that

Aino Minako is Sailor V my father's murderer!" Ogura said passionately as

he knocked over his chair and strode into a small room of the house only to

come back with a wooden jewelry box.

Knocking over various items across the coffee table Ogura's hands

trembled with the lid to the box, and finally just ripped the hinges off of it

as his hands shook as he dug through all the memories, all these memories

had been secretly collected by his father when he had first met Sailor V,

and to the point of his death no one had knew of its existence, and Ogura

and Sai had promised each other to respect his secrecy, and the box had

never been opened until now.

Ogura had always felt resentment at his father for hiding away his

secrets from his mother, he had hated him dying and leaving them alone,

but most of all he hated knowing that his father would entangle himself

with such a character as Sailor V. His father loved the lies he told Ogura's

mother to hurt her, until she had found out that he had fallen in love with

the estranged girl, and it wasn't even the way a man should love a woman,

it was a sweet love, a love for Sailor V like she was his child, like Ogura

had never existed, but to say his father neglected him was not right either.

His father had loved him too, and his mother, but it was another love that

drove him to Sailor V, that drove his father to protect Sailor V, and that

love had eventually drove him to his death.

Now, Pandora's box would be opened and Ogura's hand shook with

nervousness as he removed from it a picture, it was of Sailor V almost

detransformed but she still had a tattered and ripped sailor fuku, the picture

showed off her full back, and also an almost life-like cut in her back in the

shape of the ace of spades. Kaijou noted that while still in her costume, Sailor

V had black silky hair...Minako's hair...

"I...I remember that. Aiji had come home that night carrying a girl in his

arms, she looked like a broken doll really, and he had snapped that picture

to show to the authorities because we hadn't thought that this girl was

attacked by something less than human," Sai breathed, now drawn to the

open box as she eagerly came forward.

Sai...wanted to know what her husband had known, what he had

thought, and especially what kind of things that had been kept hidden for

all these years. She no longer was afraid of what she was to find, but

she was more enamored with her husband's interest in Sailor V, but maybe

...it was more on Aino Minako the person more than Sailor V herself. Sai

allowed herself to indulge in this as she too fingered the contents of the

box and its amount of history.

Kaijou looked on at all the items, the photo being the only thing that

was worth much, it was just another stupid man's rambling. What did he

care about what a man thought of anything? What he needed now was

proof and evidence fast. He took the photo and pocketed it as he felt the

photo crackle against his gloved fingers, and he picked up his tape recorder

again, turned it on, and placed it before Ogura and Sai.

"Now. I'll need your testimony, and then we may deal with the exhorts

of your husband's records," Kaijou informed as he impatiently drew the

family's attention back to him.

"Of course," Ogura stated.

"But...it won't do much good if the only person who knew your

father well, and had eyes to see does not testify...Ms. Iwai?" Kaijou

provoked.

Sai looked like if she was struggling with herself as her eyes

portrayed a climactic battle in her mind, but in the end old and dead

bitter emotions were once again stirred, and Sai sat herself down

before Kaijou once again willing to help.

"Now...start with how you met Sailor V and then transition

into how you found she was Aino Minako," Kaijou demanded quickly

as he watched with anticipation.

"It as on a cold September day, and no one ever really remembers

the month of September because nothing important happens, but that

was the day when my husband had been late for his work shift, and

the day that he had come home....with the battered body of Sailor V...."

------------

authors notes: shady details on Minako's past start becoming

clear, but I didn't want to spill the beans yet. No Rei/Minako interaction

because I wanted to focus on Kaijou for once...damn him, for now I've

managed to only make Kaijou idealized in my nightmares, he's

an abstract bugger ain't he?

on Senator Hino: yes he will play a large part even though he rarely

interacts with any of the senshi or even sees his daughter, but his

guilt is something that I have fun with, and it's nice to play around with

the concept of father-daughter relationships...hehe. The next chapter

I hope won't be so slow. Till then. keep it real.


	17. Too Much Love Will Kill You

**Chapter 17: Too Much Love Will Kill You**

_"Compulsion has stained me, and_

_I'm nervously cradling our young love_

_without knowing the limits of love,_

_and like a butterfly in my hand I peek in to_

_to see beauty trapped, and confined it flutters._

_Then it leaves behind colorful dust _

_to remind me of the special times we've spent,_

_but of course it has to leave my clutch,_

_but enough's never enough to make a dent. _

_Too much love will kill you just as sure as none at all_

_It'll drain the power that's in you, make you plead,_

_and scream, and crawl, and the pain will make you crazy._

_You're the victim of your crime too much love will kill you,_

_every time. Yeah too much love will kill you it'll_

_make your life a lie. Yes too much love will kill you,_

_and you won't understand why you'd give your life, _

_you'd sell your soul, but here it comes again_

_Too much love will kill you in the end."_

Cool air blew on her neck as she removed the wet cloth

from her eyes, trying to get rid of the intense headache she had

gotten from staring hard, straight into the sacred flame. The incense

had clouded her senses and the flames had hurt her eyes, she

wondered why she was like this, what did the flame want to hide?

Groaning, she looked at the hands of the clock, Minako still hadn't

returned, knowing Minako, Rei knew that Minako was doing this on

purpose and making her wait. It was Minako's way to tease, and to

submit into the machine of her thoughts, Rei knew it all too well, and

yet she still got frustrated.

Rei was acutely aware of the sharp pain that came whenever

she let her guard down as all her headaches seemed to be as short

as a few seconds, but it was a brief flaring kind of pain, one that

jumped on you when you weren't looking. Rei was aware that she

had been sitting in the kitchen far away from the rays of the sun for

at least an hour now, and she still hadn't changed out of her dogi,

and even made a move to change the spot in which she sat in. She

had to be happy though, Minako was coming back, and from what

Usagi told her nothing much had done any damage at all. Rei could

trust Usagi, Usagi she knew would never lie to her, not on any

chance as Rei remembered the time when Usagi had helped her

with Minako's challenge, to sing in front of the children of a hospital.

Re felt a brief flare of regret that they weren't as close as they

used to be, it wasn't like she didn't like being around them, but it

was hard with her type of schedule, but from the looks of it now

she was going downhill. The sacred flame refused to cooperate,

or maybe it was just her? Something was dampening her ability to

channel into her second sight, and with the absence of her ability

came Rei's restlessness, a frustration that she couldn't utilize a

power that had come so easily to her before.

She didn't even want to sit in front of the sacred flame

anymore, she was listless in front of it, always wondering

what to look for, and when she did have questions she only

found more questions to answer her. Damn it, why wasn't

she happy!? All she was met with was more confusion, more

emotions that were hard to put a finger on, and she dearly felt

like something was missing. Usagi had informed her of good news,

she had been happy at first, but now she felt cheated, she felt

like it was too good to be true, she felt robbed in a sense, and she

didn't know why, but her heart fought with her instincts and intuition,

and told her that it was all right, that it was nothing to dwell over.

"It's nothing!" Rei shouted more loudly than intended to the

air, as her voice shook gradually breaking down on her.

But if it was nothing would she be like this? Would she feel

like this? Rei desperately needed some comfort, something to

reassure her to keep her sane, and mostly she needed to convince

herself that it was nothing, she needed reassurance more than

air.

Rei tried to think of something else and tried to keep herself occupied.

She thought of Minako, of how they were like last night, how close they

seemed to each other. The illusion had shattered when Rei woke up to

no one next to her, she had felt cold air for the warmth of a person that

should've been there, and she had been met with silence as she spoke her

good mornings to no one.

She tried to ignore the tension that had run through them last night,

she tried to ignore any thoughts on that as she found herself wishing

she could touch Minako more than often, to see if all the other places

on Minako's body were as soft as her lips. Rei wanted to know if

Minako really looked like porcelain inside out, but she quelled that urge,

and had stamped out her desire only to lie awake in the hours of the

night staring at the ceiling, and practicing self-control.

"Self-control..." Rei tested the word on her mouth as she stared

hazily at the ceiling above.

When had she never practiced self-control? Contrary to belief Rei

hated losing control, it meant that she could no longer be in the front

wheel, and it meant not being able to understand the things she did,

briefly in her life she could only remember a time where she willingly

stepped aside and lost, but that had been when Minako's life had first

passed away.

Life....at those words Rei closed her eyes shut tightly as she thought

upon that word, a second chance had been awarded Minako, had been

awarded all of them, but now it seemed like they were taking it for granted.

They were misusing their time given, they had just reverted to a cycle and

rarely made even the least effort to keep in contact with each other, other

than the occasional phone call here and there, they were actually estranged

from each other.

Rei had always thought that her second-sight was a gift, and that it

was meant to be used, and she always tried her best to use her second

sight to aid her friends, and aid herself as well. She had pressed so many

matters in Kyoto, and came out stronger, but now she was sick of thinking.

Her mind dwelled on all sorts of things, never staying in one place, but yet

her thoughts seemed to circumnavigate a subject she did not want to touch.

"You leave yourself too open you know, Rei. Someone could sneak

up on you, I thought you could sense these things," a voice whispered

into her ear.

Rei was aware of the goosepimples that were slowly forming on

her arm now as she recognized the warm breath on her ear. Rei had

thought to rest her eyes, and maybe get some sleep since she was

deprived of it yesterday, but now Minako's voice brought millions of

thoughts crashing down into her consciousness, and she opened her

eyes...waiting, maybe hoping to see some blue sky, but all she got

was the blistered ceiling that coveted over them.

"Well, maybe...." Rei started and turned her head around to regard

Minako's lazy cocoa brown eyes. "I would be more sharp, and sense

more things if I actually got sleep at night."

"Hmm, what you need is food, cake especially to lighten up, don't

look so drab and...and intimidating, smile a little," Minako said as she

placed a cake in front of Rei's nose, it was obvious that Minako had

been there for a long time before she had come up behind Rei.

Rei's gaze followed Minako's outstretched arm, to her slim hand,

and to the plate that held the cake with a forlorn looking strawberry

awkwardly placed on top. She blinked as the strawberry very slowly

began to tilt over as if gravity was acting upon it.

"Well?" Minako asked impatiently.

"Hmm?" Rei asked.

"Smile!" Minako goaded, picking up the strawberry dripping with

cream, and streaked a good deal of it onto the tip of Rei's nose.

Rei frowned, and looked at the dab of cream on her nose, and

scowled even more. Minako looked at her expectantly as Rei tapped

her fingers together. The edges of Rei's lips curled, but she had to force

her smile as her mouth did this goofy grimace, and Minako let out a

breezly laugh at the face that Rei gave her.

"What an ugly face!" Minako teased between breaths as Rei

frowned once again.

"I can't force a smile," Rei replied disgruntled as she smugly

chose to ignore the cake being handed to her. "You took the best

part Minako."

"Really?" Minako asked teasing Rei a little as she placed the

tip of the strawberry against her parted lips.

Rei just glared, and tried hard not to stare at the fullness of

Minako's lips, and she just scowled even more to try to hide that

fact from Minako, but she should've known it was hopeless

to even try and lie to Minako. As Minako noticed Rei's gaze

she burst into another fit of laughter as she bit into the delectable

fruit.

"I don't want cake," Rei uttered smugly as she turned away

from watching Minako eat the rest of her strawberry to stare at

well...to stare at nothing really.

"You're such an old fart Rei," Minako sighed as she poked

Rei's cheek with her half-eaten strawberry.

"Am not..." Rei mumbled as she tried to finds words to say.

"I suppose, it's no use beating around the bush about my

meeting with Kaijou, huh?" Minako murmured staring down at Rei.

Rei made a move as if to caress Minako's cheek, but ended up

switching her target to Minako's shoulders, as she spoke.

"Usagi told me," Rei said briefly.

Minako's eyes widened at this, and her eyebrows shot up as if

she hadn't known of this, and Rei was skeptical once again at Usagi's

rendition of how the meeting went down, but Minako saw the frown

on Rei's face just in time and smiled awkwardly to cover up for it.

"Well...that snitch, I knew she would've spilled on me, what

exactly did she say?" Minako asked biting slowly into the strawberry

again to calm her nerves.

"Oh...nothing...she talked a lot about your past as Sailor V,

and what Kaijou had to say about it," Rei responded slowly trying

to worm some information out of Minako.

"Hmm. Well I trust that you are happy now," Minako replied

catching onto Rei's game fast.

Rei cursed inwardly into her brain as she had to fall back now

on what Usagi had told her, and Rei didn't like admitting to herself

that she didn't feel like trusting Usagi's words, but who else could

she trust other than the woman who had practically stood by her

side fighting with her since she was a middle school student? If

you couldn't trust your friends, then who could you trust? Though

Rei repeated this mantra in her head she also made a note to call

Makoto and Ami to get a different view on what happened.

On the outside though, Rei kept her forced smile, but tried to

transition it more with ease as she scooched closer to Minako on

the couch.

"Yes. Very. The other man is out of the picture, why shouldn't I

be?" Rei replied, feeling a bit bitter towards the fact that Kaijou had

been the "other man" in their relationship, no matter how many times

Minako had told her she despised him.

"What makes you think you haven't been the "other woman"?" Minako

prodded placing the plate holding the cake onto the table next to the couch

as she leaned over slightly to get eye-level with Rei.

"Don't shit with me Minako," Rei responded gravely as she practically

glared at Minako from behind the veil of her bangs.

"Full of pride as always," Minako remarked that haughty smirk

still on her face.

"What does it matter?" Rei sighed her hands clenching at the

fabric of her miko outfit.

"It does matter. Whatever you say matters even if on a larger

scale it seems irrelevant. Do you believe in God?" Minako ran on

unperturbed.

Rei had to think a moment for this...she had gone to TA a catholic

school, but to say she actually had gotten into the religion was another

thing, and on a second thought she only did it because her mother had

when she was alive, believed in God.

"No. The thought has never interested me," Rei responded tersely

the immediate thought of her mother making her more agitated then she

already was.

"But you don't believe we can control our own fate?" Minako queried.

"We do on some levels, on some unconscious level the decisions

we make affect others, and it's usually the wrong decision is the right

one," Rei spoke as she looked dead on at Minako's eyes as she said this.

Minako shifted her body so she wouldn't be staring directly at Rei,

she found it hard to gather a coherent thought in her mind when looking

straight at Rei, and when she did find the words to say they would usually

be half-truths and whole lies.

Seeing Minako do this motion only served to perturb Rei's meticulous

expression of displeasure as Rei once again doubted that it was nothing

that Minako was currently thinking about right now.

"Every one turns to a god even in the dark, you turn to Kami to give

you the answers, and yet you say a god has no control over your life," Minako

whispered to the dead stillness of the room as Rei seemed to have gotten

relatively colder to her in the last few moments.

"Does it matter?" Rei replied irately as she looked angrily at the

plate full of cake.

Too many troubles had been hampering her mind today, and to top

it off all her troubles came to the point of where she couldn't even enjoy

good news anymore, and the sacred flame seemed to repel her thoughts

like a magnet. Now, when Minako had arrived Rei thought that the effect

that Minako had around her would cancel out her negative thoughts, but

now Minako's presence only seemed to escalate her rioting emotions as

tension started to peak. She knew what Minako was going to say to her,

that it "did matter to her", but she could really care less about God or Kami

now for the matter, should she care for a Kami that had abandoned her

these last few days? Frustrated Rei decided she might as well voice it.

She had never screamed before in her life, but now she was,

and it brought her more at peace with this disillusionment, she wanted

it to feel more real, not like something that came out of a book. She screamed

a senseless babble of things, and watched as Minako's careful facade

of contentment turn to one of wonder and in truth....fear as Rei screamed

that it didn't matter at all, everyone died and that was it, people only looked

to religion for something to lean on as a crutch, because it was so much

easier to believe that there was some higher power looking out for you,

protecting you for you to not feel alone, but in truth they were really very

much alone in the universe governed by only one fate, and that was death.

Who was anybody to judge what was right? What she was interested

in she didn't know, but she was sure as hell keen on what she wasn't

interested in, and Minako shouldn't pretend like she was happy with what

they were doing when she knew she was damn well bored of all of this.

Rei said that outloud too...she didn't think of holding back because she

wanted the dam to break, and the cork that held all the anger and hidden

emotions in would leave. She wanted to find herself amidst all this jazz,

and feel like herself again, and not feel drained or weak.

The slump in Minako's shoulders was evident as Rei's voice teetered

to a stop, and the stone in her stomach plummeted as Rei seemed more

passionate as ever, this should've brought her peace, but it brought her

anxiety seeing Rei as strong as this.

"Why can't you be easier to lie to?" that phrase stuck inbetween them,

and Rei didn't know what Minako meant by that, if Minako had been trying

to lie to her now, or that Minako was talking about the many other times

they had tripped up on lies.

"I should be happy, but I'm not. I should be glad that you're back but

now I feel like it's driven an even bigger rift between us. It seems like

every time Kaijou intervenes we end up back in square one, and I hate

starting over. You either open up to me or you don't. I'm not waiting for

you to "think about it" or "try it out" if you don't want to stay don't, and

if you do then stay, stay and mean it this time," Rei spoke her voice

getting stronger as the moments passed between them.

Rei wasn't doing this because she was impatient, but she was

trying to save them less heartbreak, because if Minako kept stringing

her along like this they'd keep repeating the same vicious cycle, and

Rei didn't know if she could withstand such a strain, and soon when

she had regained her senses she'd probably realize this relationship

wasn't worth her time, that that's what they had been really doing...

wasting time. She didn't want to come through with that realization,

and she wanted Minako to know that, so that they could at least try

together.

Minako had an adamant eye on both her past and her present,

and often times the dues of the past caused her present to lose its

glow, and she'd get lost in a wave of surreality as she worked to

pay those dues, but they would never be paid. She could never be

enough, she hadn't been enough for Kaijou. She couldn't save him,

rather she had pushed him farther into the dark abyss, and Rei...

she couldn't even give Rei one decent and honest relationship no

matter how hard she tried to fix things upright another piece of the

wall would tumble down, and her past would be right behind her.

She thought that she had paid her dues a long time ago, a long time

ago she had thought that she had proved worthy for redemption,

but she should've known that to nothing she did was ever worthy

of redeeming. She had been stricken by her disease, and she had

thrown herself into duty, she had created spaces between her

friends all for the sake of what she thought was the greater good,

and she had not even started on her road to purgatory. In the eyes

of the woman, of the man that she had killed she was still in debt.

She wanted Rei, but wanting and what she had to do was

clashing, and how could anyone choose between what they

wanted and the right thing to do? She wanted this to play on,

until the end when she did have to make that choice, and maybe

Rei would understand, but she had driven the others into the

web yet again. She had forced Usagi to lie to Rei on her behalf

and the others as well. She knew what she needed to do, but

that didn't stop it from being so hard, that didn't stop her from

wanting to be closer to Rei, and like a moth she danced on the

outside, around Rei's flame. She knew if she got any closer she'd

be consumed but she wanted it that way. It was so easy to forget

that there was a lie, a truth that you had kept from them when in

the throes of passion, and it was easy to forget that there was

somewhere you needed to be, that there were people you needed

to see, and goodbyes that needed to be said another day when

your cries were drowned out by another's lips, and that vast dry

spell called desire filtered itself into her mind causing her to wet

her lips as the dryness in her throat seemed such a contrast to

a few moments ago when she was sure she had a lot to say.

"Idiot..." Rei murmured as she moved forward and knocked

on Minako's skull a little.

"You..." Minako murmured looking down at the ground at her

feet other than looking Rei in the eyes.

"What?" Rei asked confused.

"You. I want you."

And that's when Minako was filled with the need to get closer

to Rei, much closer and fast for if she was to deny herself this any

longer she might lose her courage to go any farther, but she was

afforded as Rei brought her lips crashing down on hers, and the

silence was soon interrupted by the scuffling of hands sliding

across fabric. It was sloppy, their lips slanted across each others

at an odd angle, but it gave them what they needed, a physical

reassurance that they were there, and that this moment was real.

Just the physical contact between them made this moment more

fluid, and Rei could finally believe that Minako was here in the flesh,

too much of their time spent together felt like a dream, and if only

Rei wasn't so afraid to close her eyes she would've tested if it was,

but now all they were aware of was that they needed this. This

was physical comfort they were looking for, every touch and

every kiss reassured them, and it worked better than talking, than

seeing with their eyes.

Rei was lost in this affirmation as she fought for breath as

she still pursued Minako's lips long after they had parted as her

lips burned as the air touched them, and she said not a word

as they treaded softly back to their room, and shut the door quietly

on the outside world.

Every cell in her body seemed to be more alive, and just the inkling

of doubt had been carelessly wiped away as Minako had regained

posession of her lips again, and Rei felt as free as a bird. She didn't

care as long as Minako kept right where she was. Rei was so lost in

the caresses and the simple almost alien touches of skin brushing

against skin that she failed to notice that Minako kissed her sometimes

with eyes open in guilt...and then Minako closed her eyes to not let Rei

see in her eyes the look of pain and regret as she took something from

Rei she was not supposed to take, but Rei had offered her consent, and

that's what ripped Minako apart. One lie, but it was a lie nonetheless, Minako

hated herself for wanting Rei, but she couldn't stop trying to get closer to

her, to feel herself squirming beneath Rei for a release, she had slowly

tricked Rei into believing that if she could want Rei this much that some

way she would stay, she wanted to stay, but she found it hard to accept

in her mind that the worst was over, and she was only taking comfort out

of Rei like this. She was taking advantage of Rei. It shouldn't have felt so

good...

At the end, when their crests had finally passed and they lay there

with the slight sheen of sweat on their skin Minako allowed herself

to fully feel the weight of her guilt, and she couldn't ignore the cramping

of her stomach, and the naseous feeling that threatened to empty her.

Rei's fingers simply did a slow dance across Minako's bare stomach

playfully, and she was unaware of Minako's implosion that was bashing

in on Minako's well constructed extorier, she remained blissfully content in

a made up wonderland that Minako had given her.

_"You lied again Minako...why'd you have to trick her? Why couldn't _

_you tell her that the chance of you staying was there but not likely?" _

Minako's conscience nagged her as she tried to keep her mind off of it,

to keep on going on as she had almost fallen asleep, but the voice in her

head refused her.

_"You lied because you didn't want to tell her maybe, because after_

_that if you told her you wanted her she wouldn't have responded like she_

_did, you were driven on by lust. You just wanted someone to comfort you_

_so you wouldn't feel as guilty..." _

Lie. That word. Another barb inflicted on her by her ownself as she

battled her conscience in vain.

_"Sooner or later the reality you've given her will fall away from her eyes,_

_and then she'll hate you, and that hate will erase all that she loved of you,_

_because let's face it those were lies too. You wanted it to be easy and now_

_that you have what you want what are you moping for? You're not sad about_

_it." _

She wasn't sad. She was miserable. She thought that this would help,

but it only served to confuse her, and drive them to the point of no possible

recuperation of loss. It had felt good but it was sinful. The voice in her head

was right, she had gotten what she wanted, she had given Rei what she

wanted, but the tearing emotion in her wouldn't give way to anything peaceful

or settling, she wished that Rei wouldn't be so blindly gullible and content

with her. She wished Rei would've forced her to tell the truth the whole

truth but the taste of Rei's lips swallowed all thoughts of protests. Her

fingers shook as she brought them to her quivering lips....she could still

taste Rei on them.

Rei was everywhere on her...on her skin, in her hair, and on her very

lips the name she had called when she had finally gotten her one moment

of ecstacy. She knew of no escape only that the catalyst of emotions kept

on occuring within her, and it seemed like her well-kept secrets were slowly

enroaching her pysche, and burning into them a sense of helplessness, a

desire to run away from telling Rei what she wanted to say, that they should

end it right now, before Rei fell even deeper in this, but she didn't. Minako

kept quiet because she wanted this, want and need were twisting knots

in her stomach, she wanted Rei to trust her, to love her, and she wanted

to tell Rei the truth before she hurt her, but what she needed was that lie

to keep her going on, to make the three days she was to stay with Rei

easier, she needed to make those memories to take.

Her emotions were tugging at the last strands of her sanity, and

Minako broke as she turned her head away from Rei as she cried bitterly,

she had destroyed them, and everything she had done up to now was

null. Minako prayed that Rei would ignore her, just give her some time to

wait it out, but Rei couldn't read minds nor hear prayers.

Rei had been at peace. Nothing could disturb her at this moment as

she basked in the afterglow. Makoto was right....you could hear fireworks,

not that Rei would ever bring up the subject again to Makoto. That was

just a place Rei didn't want to go to. She had been contemplating what to

do as the fingers of her hand unconsciously caressed Minako's bare hip,

and it was then that she could feel Minako turn away from her, and hear

Minako let out a small strangled sound. Rei flipped over to find herself

face to face with the back of Minako's head, and the only clue she got

was Minako's heaving shoulders, and slight shallow breathing.

"Minako?" Rei asked slightly alarmed at this turning point in the day.

Minako cursed in her head as she tried to stem the flow of her tears,

but found it even harder as she stifled her sobs with the quick press of her

hand over her mouth. What was wrong? More importantly what was right?

Was this reality? Her reality....or their reality?

When Rei start to kiss her, and shower her with comfort and love,

Minako almost cried out in agony. Their "comfort" drained everything from

her, and it left her stripped with nothing coherent from her thoughts, only

an unexplainable guilt, but yet she had succumbed to this kind of comfort

an hour ago, because she thought that it had been right, and when she

realized the feeling would not go the deed had already been done.

Rei's kisses started roaming down her neck grazing her collarbone,

and then she felt teeth nip at the skin of her neck, and she closed her eyes

and wished for the tumultous rollercoaster of nausea to go away away. At

times, especially now she wished Rei would hate her, she hated it that Rei

was so kind to her sometimes, and she knew she could never be kind

in return. She could , content, sensual, complicated, simple,

and loving to Rei, but she could never be kind. If Rei were to hate her

that'd be the end of her too, and in a different way from which her loving

Rei would consequence, but she would slowly slip into restless apathy if

Rei were to hate her. Rei had been frustrated with her once, competitive,

and brash, but never had Rei hated Minako, and now that Minako admonished

to herself that to fight was to deny the inevitable she allowed Rei to take

her again. She succumbed only to find herself in a tug of war between

what was right and what felt right, wanting for Rei to be kind to her,

and wanting her to be rough, and somewhere love and duty was

mixed inbetween.

Could she have stopped them from mixing skin with their affairs?

Minako could've sworn that to be kind was to not deceive...

----------------

Senator Hino sat placidly in front of his mahogany table, fingers

laced together as he looked at the many legal documents scattered

over the table top, and the mess refused to right itself. He could've

sworn he was still in the Cuban islands enjoying his iced tea until

Kaijou called him asking for permission to see him. He couldn't refuse

he knew it had something to do with the posters, and Rei. It seemed

like fate would not let him rest in peace without having him confront

his daughter one last time. Creasing his eyebrows he sighed, and

brushed away the documents surrounding him that still needed

to be signed, and closed his eyes, and got back to imagining Cuba.

Images of Rei flit through his mind like pictographs and inside

his heart ached. It was something constant, and he could not with

all the pills they provided him, he could not erase the guilt that had

taunted him throughout. Now Senator Hino had another guilt to tend

to. Kaijou. A part of Senator Hino wanted to make Kaijou happy, and

the other part of him was suspicious of Kaijou and his dealings, and

why Kaijou needed the Senator's authority. Senator Hino knew of

Kaijou's unhealthy obsession with Minako, but those two rebounded

off of each other like marbles, and Senator Hino had only met Minako

once briefly, but even the brief confrontation proved to him that Minako

was more fragile and pristine then Kaijou could handle. It wasn't the

cold hard exterior that convinced Senator Hino that Aino Minako was

fragile, but rather it was the look of listlessness in her eyes, the same

eyes he saw in the mirror when he awoke, a motivation...for nothing.

Senator Hino himself had attended the annual Aino Minako concert,

and she had shone and glowed on stage, but off the stage she was real

again. The truth was Senator Hino was a free man, a man who was

perfect in the eyes of society, the senator had a cool and calculated gaze

on his power and people, and could manipulate those who he wished,

but he didn't. Instead his power was manipulated by others under him,

beneath him in morality, others that did not think about the human mortality.

Parasites. But Senator Hino loved the parasite that had attached itself into

him so much that they shared the same life blood, if Kaijou fell....then the

venerable Senator too...would fall. If he failed another time to redeem

himself, if he failed to look after Kaijou like he did for his daughter his

life would become meaningless. To fail in what was most important to

you, to give your love out like christmas cards and not have that smile

back, it was ungratifying. Senator Hino was unnsatisfied with his life,

and if he was still young he would've called this a mid-life crisis, but

the photo of Rei captured in time did not reflect the reality that she had

grown into a young woman.

The clicking of the door knob disrupted the Senator from his

thoughts, and he tried to regain back his semblence of dominance, and

calmly watched as Kaijou came in with more zest than ever, a cheschire

like grin playing on his lips. Kaijou bustled in with a cardboard box filled

with odd trinkets, and a wooden jewely box, and the Senator briefly

wondered why this was being brought to him.

"I have a solution of how to get Minako away from your daughter," Kaijou

offered without even waiting for the Senator to acknowledge his presence.

Senator Hino's eyes fell and his hopes plummeted. It was the same,

Kaijou would only come to him in times of need, not to talk. Even though

the poster had been uncalled for the Senator could not deny its bearing

upon his role in society, and his position being a political one the poster

proved to be more critical in debate, and the Senator felt a flare of grief

now knowing that his daughter would be dragged out into public like this.

Humiliated...

"I thought I told you not to meddle in my daughter's life," Senator Hino

replied as he watched Kaijou unveil a photo in front of him.

"I am not meddling, I am merely worried about your stature as Senator

after this hate-crime, and you told me that you'd help me," Kaijou protested

looking the Senator in the eye.

"Yes. I did. Continue," the Senator rasped finding his throat unable

to cooperate with him as he eyed the picture.

It did look like Aino Minako, but what was it going to prove without

consistent witnesses? It might've been some crazed fan...and that's when

Kaijou brought out the tape recorder, and that's when the Senator had

gotten his doubts, but he couldn't stop now, and with trembling hands he

took the abyss into himself as he turned the machine on...and slowly the

turn of electronics and schematics made sound filter through minute

speakers, and the graying clouds overhead his office turned more

tumultous as voices intermingled with the air in his office.

Senator Hino found....it was very hard to defend the Pop Star after

hearing what Kaijou had to say, and he found it hard to control the lump

in his throat, and he made up in his mind that if he was going to help Kaijou

he would have to get involved. In his mind the scheme worked on as he

would confront Minako next morning with fresh evidence, and he would

tear the lovers apart in physical and mental aspects, and he would turn

his heart into stone in doing so. He would steel himself for he was not a

man to back down from his promises and convictions, but maybe that was

why love had always taken a second priority to his life, maybe underneath

his skin all that there was in the Senator was cold.


	18. Two Suns in the Sunset

**Chapter 18: Two Suns in the Sunset**

_"In my rearview mirror the sun is going down_

_sinking behind bridges in the road_

_and I think of all the good things that we have left undone_

_and I suffer premonitions, confirm suspicions, of the holocaust to come. _

_The wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in_

_gives way, and suddenly it's day again._

_The sun is in the east even though the day is done,_

_two suns in the sunset could be the human race is run._

_You stretch the frozen moments with your fear,_

_and you'll never hear their voices, _

_and you'll never see their faces, _

_you have no recourse to the law anymore,_

_and as the windshield melts my tears evaporate_

_leaving only charcoal to defend._

_Finally I understand the feelings of few, ashes and diamonds,_

_foe and friend, we were all equal in the end."_

Floating...she was floating, harbored on wings that

she didn't know existed. Her thoughts seemed to evaporate, and

that feeling inside of her escalated, until she felt the irrepressable

urge...to laugh, and she did. It was a strange sound in the darkness

like she was laughing into a void that only managed to adapt to the

sound of her laughter and swallow the dry desperate pitches of her

madness.

From beside her, Rei's form stirred, but it was well past midnight,

and the moon had long since been obscured by the clouds and Minako

was left alone with her thoughts. She had always liked it alone in the

darkness where light was absent so you felt the other presences in

the room next to you. She wondered briefly...if Rei could see them.

The spirits, the fates, and she wondered why she could feel them

around her now as if their energy was making the hair on her arms

stand straight up. She thought of Motoki and Makoto, what lay ahead

for Makoto, and she thought of the wedding, and then she thought of

trivial things, things that had no end, and no beginning. Her thoughts kept

trying to fill up the spaces in her head and in the air, but they only filled

so much until all died away, and the silence resounding pressed on her

ears.

Did Rei ever see the things she saw while looking into the fire?

Could Rei look through her eyes, and see...hear what she felt, or was

Rei just as clueless about the future, maybe that's why Rei stared so

long and hard into her sacred flame...to find answers, but all that came

to Minako's mind as fast as her brain could process them, the questions

and answers evaporated just as they had come. She tried to huddle back

into the warmth of Rei's arms, but to no avail it proved to only dampen her

fleeting emotions as even the warmth of someone next to her, refused to

quiet her pyschoanalyzing.

Gently kissing the soft skin underneath Rei's chin Minako contemplated

if this...consumnation of love changed anything, did it mean that she was

tied here for good? Or was it just...something that had to be done, to clarify

that this relationship was more than just "friendly"? Or was it to satisfy an

ache for flesh? Minako loved...but she could not feel this love. Love was

happiness, it was a bed of roses, it was...contentment, and it was joy, if

love was all these things what could you call a love that didn't feel much

like happiness? That didn't feel much like anything, but Minako wanted to

keep this, nothing much that she owned was really ever hers, and Rei...well

Rei she could say was hers for awhile and she wanted to keep that, until

the madness came crashing back down. From the eyes of the outside

their relationship could be seen as skin-deep, their eyes seen as alluded

by beauty, and their senses stained by the unsatiable pleasure of the

flesh, but she knew that few knew her better than Hino Rei. There was a

part of her that let loose around the fiery miko, a part of her that never

felt anymore free, and thinking of this Minako closes her eyes fighting

insomnia.

She can't think about tomorrow because she wants to live for the

moment, and she thinks...recklessly, but she does think it that if she

were to die tomorrow it would be a fitting end, that she prefers to

die at the climax of happiness when no other time could get any better,

that's what she thinks, but what she thinks doesn't matter as she

feels outside forces intervening. Nobody should ever find true love,

nobody should ever know what it felt like to take such responsibility

for a heart, especially of one you never dared to hurt, but could do

nothing else but that. Strange, the emptiness in her belly seemed to

have deepened and caved in since last as she wet her lips with her

tongue and rolled her eyes to eye the ceiling above her, and she glared.

It was only then staring at the ceiling did she partake in augmentation

of the common phrase, one that she rarely used, but found suitable in

her situation.

'She hated everything.'

-

Turbulence was all that Minako had in mind as she pressed her foot

down hard on the accelerator of her hunk of junk car that was usually

only meant to look pretty, and not go very fast, but right now speed

was what Minako needed. She watched from the corner of her eye

as the sun's rays kissed every lock of hair on Rei's head that blew

carelessly into the wind despite the miko's constant protesting hands

that tried to get her hair into a semblance of order...she really was

beautiful when she was angry. Too beautiful, it made others not know

when to stay away, and it made Minako shudder involuntarily and huddle

into her seat seeking safety from the miko's fire.

_Keep breathing..._

The thought ran through Minako's head like a brush fire, it eliminated

her common sense and her thoughts were now filtered in undiluted glory

before her eyes as the plans for the day made a satisfying flop in the

back of her mind, and she still...Minako wasn't sure if she could sleep

ever again after the night they had, she didn't know if it was okay to

trust herself to even speak casually to Rei without inflicting more brain

damage on herself, and she was sure, as sure as she knew how the

sweetness of milk spoiled when left out in the open, she was sure the

dreamscape of safety would spoil if left unattended.

_What changed the name of the game?..._

The reason why she had awoken Rei with a kiss, with her lips and

with her tongue instead of going out into the hall to greet Artemis and

have her early morning breakfast, the same reason why she stopped

trying to be pathetic the day after.

_You clearly knew who was wanting who..._

No!...she wasn't using Rei, it was love. That word

held meaning to her, and she clung onto it like a man adrift at sea clinging

to his lifesaver, she needed the clarity. Her recklessness had driven her,

but what caved in substituted for lust and want, and she had gotten

everything. She had the heart and soul of the fiery miko, and she had

indulged in the time of the day with the miko, and shared her fears and

doubts, but there was still a place where Minako didn't want to take the

miko, didn't want to take the risk of that. The prospect of losing to Minako

was always a greater fear than meant to be, and the losing part well...

it wasn't as disappointing as she thought it was, because she had always

been anticipating losing from the start.

_You said it to yourself...that you weren't happy..._

That's right. She wasn't happy, but she wanted to make Rei happy, if

only for a small moment where the outside could be looking in, and they

wouldn't mind. When the trials of tomorrow would be like footprints at

the beach where you would only have to look away for a second before

your own footsteps were washed away by the waves. Slowly, Minako

saw the streetlights signaling her car to a stop as Minako spared a glance

at Rei who looked flustered with her hair askew, and Minako felt a small

smile gracing her lips.

"Feel like the beach?"

-

_Seaglass..._

She had loved them when she was a child, and that awe-struck feeling

of finding one carried to her adolescence, and well into her adult life now as she

searched the sand for sea glass with Rei walking slowly by her side curious to

her motives. She remembered well how many days she had spent carefree

across the beaches in nothing but a summer dress even in the winter to play

in the waves, and catch various seashells pressing each one to her ear hoping

to hear the sound of the sea in it, and just receiving an earful of seawater for

her effort. Minako chuckled fondly at her childhood foolishness, at her believing

the myth that seashells would harbor the sound of the sea in them, and she

wondered briefly what it would be like to just walk on into the sea. Would it be

as endless like it looked? She wondered if anyone had ever done that...just keep

walking to try and find an end to the sea. Was there an end? Or was the sea

like sorrow, high tide some days, and low tide the others? Minako felt...

isolated here by the seaside, and just to make sure she turned around to gaze

at Rei who had been silent at her side for quite some time.

_You love her..._

That thought the only thing that was on her mind as she reached for Rei

and nudged playfully.

"Why are you so silent?" the question was out of her lips before she

had a time to taste how it would sound in the air, and her voice to her seemed

foreign, and feeble almost.

"I was just enjoying the moment," Rei replied back shortly as she gazed

at the wispy clouds that played about the azure sky.

The sky would've been a perfect reflection of the sea if not for the

marauding clouds in the distance painting its canvas, but Minako slowly slid

out of her shoes and socks, and dipped her foot slightly into the cool water.

She shivered all of a sudden as a chill took over her, and she recoiled slightly

from the water, and instead she watched as Rei took off her sandals and

walked straight into the water soaking up her pant leg.

_Reckless..._

But Minako joined Rei anyway as she also dipped her two feet into the

water, and felt the sand squelch inbetween her toes, and she sighed in

contentment as the sand cushioned the soles of her feet.

"Looks beautiful, huh? In Kyoto the mountains would collect clouds like

little cotton balls around the tips, and they would form such a mist the first day

there I thought the clouds were going to hide the sun away," Rei spoke to her

as they basked in the glow of the afternoon.

Rei had never spoken to Minako about the scenery of Kyoto, Minako had

just assumed Rei thought that scenery wasn't important due to her mission to

enhance her skills, but it looked like Rei just withheld the sentimentality about

the mysterious ethereal beauty of Kyoto from their talks. This was simple talk

Rei was trying to engage Minako in, and it was a relief actually to know that

they were transitioning into a much easier style, not the one where the only

time they ever talked was when something needed to be said to argue.

_It's too peaceful..._

"It's too beautiful, too quiet, too serene, it's not for the likes of me.

Usually I have replicas, calenders and posters given to me by fans

adorning my room, it's a substitute for the real things, and I've grown

accustomed to looking at beauty through a piece of paper that this seems

too real. I guess I know now where my eyes can see through and where

my eyes can only appreciate and perceive," she spoke her thoughts once

again deflating the good air between them.

She knew it wasn't right to put down a natural beauty, but it was

what she felt, if she didn't speak her mind around Rei she doubted Rei

would've ever had fallen for her in the first place.

"Sorry for being metaphorical," Rei apologized quickly as her eyes

darted worriedly towards Minako.

"You shouldn't feel sorry for that, I thought you didn't care what

others thought," Minako replied curtly.

"I don't...I don't give a damn about other people, but I give a damn

about you," Rei replied with a passion glowing in her eyes.

"I know you do," Minako agreed as if that was the end of the

conversation.

"I don't like it when our conversations fall flat like this, and I

don't like it that you're so distant after all we've been through...didn't

yesterday prove anything to you?" Rei pursued the subject vehemently.

_You were just waiting on an argument..._

This was what she had missed in the air so far...that same spark they

got from having their words clash against each other, and it was a weird

way of looking at it, and yet it was simple in the fact that they needed this

attraction.

"Yes it did...making love can always substitute for conversation, easily," Minako

replied breezily as she picked up her shoes and walked slowly paralell to the

seaside with her arms outstretched.

Rei couldn't help but feel scandalized by Minako's careless remark, and

she tried to steer away from the bitter feelings that arose, and tried to concentrate

at least on following Minako.

"You act like it already has," Rei called to Minako as she ran to catch up

and was surprised when Minako turned back to her with an almost bittersweet

smile on her face and a faraway gaze.

_"Who's to say it hasn't already?" _

That froze Rei to the spot as Minako turned away, and kept walking away

as the wind blew her hair slightly to the left as Rei gaped...standing still where

she stood with her mouth full of the sea air. Clenching her fists Rei ran after

Minako, or tried to in her sandals as Rei cursed under her breath at Minako's

habit to always break a mood with her curbed enthusiasm, and pessimism it

made Rei question was it worth it, but already answered her question as she

ran off after Minako only to find herself slipping a little as she tripped upon

something her sandal slid on, and haphazardly stuck her hand out into the

sand to steady herself.

Whipping her head wildly about Rei looked underneath her sandal and

found that what she had slipped on was nothing more than a piece of smooth

and round seaglass. It was about the size of her thumb and ruby red, figures...

the most beautiful thing on the lumpy sand was a piece of broken glass that

some litterbug threw, and now the sea had turned it into something strangely

beautiful, and yet - Rei picked up the piece of seaglass and threw it back into

the waves that crashed against the shore - she hated the sea. She had

always imagined something to be hidden beneath the sea's murky depths,

and no matter what wonders the sea birthed from it like seaglass, seashells,

and starfish Rei still felt uneasy about the sea, and now she blamed the sea

for making her spout metaphorical nonsense when Minako had looked so

at peace against the backdrop of the seaside.

The sand was lumpy against her bare feet as Rei jogged to Minako's

side and caught up with her and looked her in the eye.

_'This is different from Endymion and the Princess's love..."_ Minako thinks

as she feels Rei's touch against her arm and the familiar eyes that probe her

face often times to try to decipher what she is thinking and feeling.

"Why are you like this?" Rei asked hurt.

"Our love is so different Mamoru's and Usagi's love isn't it? What they

have is called love," Minako replied ignoring Rei's question.

"There are different kinds of love," Rei argued stooping down and putting

back on her sandals.

"From the way it is now it's like there's only one kind of love, and everyone

is happy aren't they? Why can't we be like those other couples?" Minako argued.

"What's wrong with different? Different is good. I thought you didn't

want to be like one of those corny couples who run skipping down a grassy

field, and braiding garlands into their hair," Rei shrugged wishing Minako would

just get to the point about what she was so bothered about.

"I don't want us to be like those couples that argue all the time either.

The ones that are totally miserable with each other," Minako replied tersely.

"You don't want one thing, but you don't want the other either, what

is bothering you?" Rei groaned exasperated.

"Nothing."

It was probably nothing's fault too that they strode down the beach feeling

less exuberant and excited, and more gloomy, and confused on Rei's part than

anything, and pretty much it was "nothing's" fault that the drive home was

longer than Rei had remembered, and the silence seemed more like muffled

sounds than actual silence. She wished she could've said something romantic,

or spontaneous, at least something that would produce a different outcome

than this. It was so routine...they got mad at each other, argued and felt sorry

for themselves and each other, and yet they refused to speak up until they

had to.

Minako sat rigid in her seat as she revved up her car, and pursed her

lips in self-reflective anger as she backed up the car from the seaside, and

they rode glumly in silence. Today had been ruined...just by one remark, one

misconception birthed to another, and it had just ruined her mood.

-

"Your tie is out of place...Hino-san," Ishiida's voice rang clear through the

dusty office full of cabinets upon cabinets of misinformation, and politics, all of

which was played on hand in the past but now were uselessly cluttering up

space, and he still did not understand why Hino-san had never cleaned out his

office in over years.

Senator Hino nodded curtly as he adjusted his tie and straightened out

meticulously the wrinkles in his suit and he seemed to have an unreadable

expression on his face. Black suited him, Ishiida thought as Senator Hino

walked towards him almost off-balance as if one part of him was weightless

and the other was not, and yet Ishiida smiled in assurance.

"Shall I cancel your appointments?" Ishiida asked like any old secretary.

"Yes," Senator Hino replied and made a bee-line to the door of the office

until Ishiida who could not contain himself any longer stopped him.

"Do you think it is right?" the question rang in the air seeming to transform

the room into a living and breathing organism.

"It matters not," Senator Hino replied almost robotically as his voice

seemed to have a tired edge to it as if he was weary now of having to answer

questions that contradicted each other.

"It matters to her," Ishiida pushed once more trying to appeal to the

Senator's good side a side he knew still existed.

"Sometimes you must give up what it is you love. It's a sense of duty

and responsibility, Ishiida. Once you are in my place you will understand, but

you believe that love should win over all and I respect that, and it is true, love

should win, but that doesn't mean it will," Senator Hino gravely stated closing

his eyes and swallowed almost by habit.

"You are under the heel of a monster, Hino-san," Ishiida cried desperately

as he clutched worldlessly at his daily planner.

There was no answer to Ishiida's accusation as the slamming of the

door was evident in the stark and gloomy office, and Ishiida bowed his head in

anger, and humiliation at not being able to be of any help. Ishiida cursed himself

for not catching up to Kaijou's game fast enough, and his footsteps resounded

hard in the room as he stooped to the cabinets finding them utterly devoid of

any solution to an emotional dilemma, a tug of war of morality.

-

The outline of the Hikawa Jinja snaked into her view, and still

she felt like she was teetering on a line knowing what to say, but was afraid

to say it. Thoughts inclined to each other and each memory dipped into another,

and it seemed like everytime they had an argument some part of Rei would snag,

and trail along with her as she walked and as she thought. The car Minako had

rented had been idly put back into it's correct station without much of a peep

from the media since Minako had gone through the trouble of sneaking around

the backway, and now they were strolling casually down the lane of cherry

trees, and rampant thoughts were on the loose.

She had the urge to sit and quell her thoughts by the sacred fire again.

She found revelation and calm when she could say to herself that she knew

it all along, and many were the days she had vehemently told her senshi friends

"I told you so", she wished she could do it now. Their love was so different from

the one Mamoru and Usagi they all had their own tragedy to go through, but it

didn't make the feeling any different did it? When Rei was around Mamoru and

Usagi their relationship seemed...serene. A peaceful kind of calm that Rei admitted

quietly to herself that it was love, and that she yearned for it in her own way, and

pursued it nonetheless in her meditation. She wanted it to be...a quiet kind of

understanding, a kinship. Someone who would understand on some level and

was on the same page and if Rei were to admit to herself now she could've

seen that she was in fact lonely in the past.

Trying to convince herself that being alone was the only way to make

you strong worked for awhile, but it soon died away once she witnessed true

power...love at its best, either to destroy or create their very lives had tipped

to the balance and prowess of love. What it could make one do, and how much

one could sacrifice for love, and the senshi had showed her that, especially

Usagi. So maybe she had a bit of a biased view on what love should be, but

it wasn't like she didn't bend over backwards to help Minako, and the kami

knew she tried. She put herself into it to bring Minako back from hell and down

to earth, and Minako was improving, but patience had never been one of Rei's

virtues and it seemed to her that Minako wasn't improving enough.

"Your father is here," Minako's voice interrupted Rei's train of thought, and

just the mention of her father brought her head snapping up to full attention.

"What?" Rei didn't mean it to sound so biting but it really was what she

felt. "Why is he here?"

"Business," Minako confirmed quietly and Rei wondered briefly how Minako

knew that her father was on business, but one quick look over Minako's shoulder

and Rei too knew that it was only business that brought her father back to her, it

had always been only business.

Hell, he had considered years ago that visiting her mothers' grave was

just business that he had to do, and it brought a feeling of disgust to see him

treat everything like politics.

"That'd be the only reason of why he is here at all," Rei replied coldly

as she stopped Minako's walk to the shrine with a touch of her fingers against

Minako's wrist.

"..."

"Minako...!" Rei started. "You said...that there was only one kind of love

you say, and that was Mamoru and Usagi's love, but I don't agree with you...

if you believe that then what has our...relationship been to you? What does it

mean? What is it called if not love?"

Rei tightened her grip on Minako's wrist as she waited her answer she

didn't know it but she was holding her breath. She was hoping...that Minako would

just shut up and ignore her question. She felt like she didn't want to know what

Minako thought about anymore, she no longer felt the novelty of knowing Minako's

thoughts, but she was the one that had asked the question prompting an answer.

"Codependency."

Smooth and an utterly ruthless answer that caused Rei to take a hesitant

step backwards as if Minako didn't seem like someone she knew as if Minako was

a different person now, but the sight of her father up the stairs gazing solemnly

down at her made her legs move almost robotically in sync with Minako's and

Rei soon found herself face to face with the man she had thought she would

never have to see again...not face to face, usually she just saw him on the

television screens, or on the news.

"What are you doing here?" Rei asked curtly knowing the answer

before Senator Hino even replied this was all too routine.

"Business," Senator Hino replied like rehearsed but he added something

to it. "With your...lover."

Rei's eyes widened momentarily and it clicked. The public knew or had

a vague clue but she couldn't see her and Minako doing anything that would've

tipped anyone off.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," Rei retorted clenching her fists on

the invasion of her privacy.

"I'm not telling you what to do, or who to see...I just want to talk to Minako

that's all," Senator Hino replied calmly.

"It'd be better if we had a quieter place," Minako replied nonchalantly as

Rei by her side did not stay still.

"I suggest Rei stay here though," Senator Hino cut in without even a

passing glance at Rei which was bitterly noted for her part.

"It's not my decision whether she goes or stays," Minako replied with the

same finesse and they both looked at Rei in question.

"Don't worry...I won't impede on your conversation," Rei replied sarcastically,

and turned on her heel and walked past her father without even a passing glance

either, both determind not to let down an inch while in each other's presence.

Keeping an eye on Rei's retreating back Minako let the ghostliest of smiles

cross her face and asked in good humor, "Daughter much like you?"

"Only her stubborness," Senator Hino replied his shoulders more relaxed

now since Rei was gone and there was contrast between Senator Hino the

father...and Senator Hino the man.

"I can tell. I don't know if I've ever known you to make house-calls, I

usually associate Kaijou to doing your dirty work to appease to you," Minako

took control of the conversation effectively as Senator Hino led her to a black

car in the subued background of the shrine where no one would notice them

come and leave.

"Kaijou does what he wishes. It's better to talk in my office for such

things," Senator Hino said as he opened the door politely for Minako as she

clambered in.

"And what sort of things are meant for the office?" Minako asked smoothly

as she looked up at Senator Hino from the back car seat.

"Many things," Senator Hino replied tersely as he shut the door swiftly, and

got into the passenger side of the car, and instructed his hired driver to drive.

Minako breathed a sigh in the back of the car to herself as the scenery

passed by the cloaked windows of the car in fast-forward as she saw the

familiar trees that she and Rei had passed by not awhile ago. She was thankful

for Rei for leaving it made things easier, and it made Senator Hino more relaxed

more willing to bend and compromise, and that was what she needed now. A

kindred spirit. With her face pressed against the windows she noticed out of

the corner of her eye Senator Hino staring at her from the rearview mirror and

she smiled slightly.

It was an almost cordial affair that they made their way into the office

without interruption as Minako spared a passing glance at Senator Hino's

overworked but loyal right hand man Ishiida, and she noticed his glance at

her almost a look of surprise, but then he occupied his eyes once again with

the documents his nose was always buried in. Bringing her eyes to attention

to Senator Hino's figure she entered his stark and musty office and he shut the

door discreetly on the outside. The shuffling of their feet were more evident

now as Minako took a seat in front of the huge mahogany desk that Senator Hino

was always sitting behind, and watched as he slowly lowered himself into his

chair, and breathed out heavily. The silence was palpitating as they both watched

each other unabashedly waiting for the other to give, but Minako kept at this game

until the old Senator got tired of this game, and opted for straight-forwardness.

"You are aware that this is not easy for me...but it is for the good of everyone

as you will see," Senator Hino tried and failed in convincing Minako of anything but

his reluctance.

"Senator Hino I know the consequences, and I know what it is you that you do,

and what your business has gotten you into. You don't need to lie, or try to better

things for my sake because sooner or later reality will drop down on us like animals,

and we shall unless we don't accept and adapt to it soon enough the reality will eat us

alive," Minako attacked the subject with startling efficiency as she matched Senator Hino's

weakness with her ruthlessness.

"Then I hope that you will not question my integrity, and sincerity to my daughter

then," Senator Hino replied groping around in his desk drawer for something.

"I never have," Minako answered her eyes levelling with the Senator's.

That's when the Senator seemed to lose his cool and he fumbled with

the tape recorder and until it made a metallic clink against his desk his eyes shifted

spasmically to the walls. Minako reached over hesitantly then grasped the plastic in

her hands and studied it, and immediately she knew, she didn't know how but she

knew just like all the other times. Minako let out a soft sigh, and clicked the "play" button,

and as Sai's trembling voice filtered through Minako closed her eyes in a brief show of

pain before she fixed up her face to a more placid state, and listened intently as well as

Senator Hino who regarded her with curiosity.

"You see...it is not I...I am not to fault for this tape. Whatever you decide to do is

business entirely," Senator Hino stammered after the tape was done with its message,

and Minako knew that he was trying to shift the blame, and she couldn't have minded,

it would've done her no good.

"Of course. I understand," Minako replied trying to coax the Senator back into a calmer

state.

"That's the problem, nobody else does, no one. Not even Ishiida the man that has

been by my side for years, not even my own daughter, and not even Kaijou! Between

love and duty, and pride and business. Between...family and work," Senator Hino at the

last of his breath sat down hard and his eyes were glazed almost as if he was still

dreaming.

Minako couldn't have said anything to make it better, or try to lessen the burden

because she was carrying one just like the Senator's, and if she were to help him

they would've drowned each other to keep themselves afloat.

"But...you understand don't you? The spaces that there are between friends and

utter strangers. You know why...why there are some people who choose duty over love,

there are those who will give up happiness and no one knows why, but you and I do," Senator

Hino breathed his clenched fists slowly opening as he took deep calming breaths to slow

himself down.

The Senator was desperate for justification, for someone to tell him that he was right,

and the moral wrong that he felt was brimmed from jealousy.

"I've been carrying around a guilt for a long time and I think now I'm ready to shed

that guilt away. So who is guilty is up to you to decide, and who is innocent it would be

a shame to expose them, but I leave it to you if you want me to leave your daughter

or stay with her. You are after all...her father, aren't you?" Minako replied smiling slightly

as the Senator squirmed in his seat.

Senator Hino was short of breath as he cleared his throat and reached inside his

desktop drawer and pulled out his pills.

"I don't think the pills are going to help you this time," Minako spoke with a taint

of irony in her voice as she remember a few days ago she was like that just as well.

"I don't know...what are you talking about?" Senator Hino replied cracking his knuckles

as he concentrated on the little hairs on his fingers.

"The only way for Kaijou to dig that deep into my past would be with you backing him.

You can stop him. You made him, and you created him, and you have defended him up till

now. He's been only made worse by your selfish indulging. You've forgotten all about your

real flesh and blood, and if you ever hope to continue on being a father to Rei because

she still wants you to be her father you will help me!" Minako pressed her issue her brows

creasing in concentration.

Senator Hino's mouth hung agape at Minako's act of rebellion against the odds against

her and his throat suddenly went dry as he knew Minako had seen through Kaijou and him

easily.

"I gave up on her you should know long before I had ever met Kaijou," Senator Hino

replied coldly and bit his tongue gently as Minako withdrew her stance and she looked

at the Senator in disappointment.

"If you were really her father you would've never given up on her, ever."

And with that Minako welcomed herself out of the Senator's office.

-

authors notes: I'm sorry for the time it took to update, but my internet connection

refuses to obeys me, and on its own accord it isolates me from the internet for

long periods of time so updates will be very sparse until I can get my computer

out of the dangerzone, and more stable.


End file.
